I just read a article about how some woman want to keep there last names when there married, and how some men want to take there wifes last name. And in the comment section a lot of people were offended by it, because it makes them feel less manly if they take there wives last name or because they dont feel as dominant in the relationship or something. But i honestly dont see what the big deal is. If a wife wants to keep there last name when there married, it doesn't mean there marriage is fail, or that she's not committed, she just likes her last name. And if a man wants to take his wife's last name, it doesn't make him less manly, he just likes her last name and wants to take it. Even if it was the other way around, if the wife wants to take her husbands last name she's not losing her identity or power, she just wants to go with tradition and take his last name. Some of the comments even said it was because of the fact that he just wants to pass on family 'dynasty' which i totally get but why does it so suddenly become a big deal if a woman wants to keep her last name or pass it on to her and her husbands children, but not when a guy wants to?
Most Helpful Guy
You are correct in all accounts. If people choose to take the other's last name or not they are not hurting anyone. There have been several comments here from both people deciding to take the other's last names, and they are fine. Big debates like this tend to come about when there is some kind of political agenda that people want to try and force down other people's throats. Like "The woman must do this its tradition" Or "If the man doesn't do this he is a misogynist, and is taking away the woman's power."
As from the comments to this question people are perfectly fine of working out the last name thing without some political group turning it into an epic struggle for power, which it is not. I mean your getting married to the love of your life! Be happy, don't turn small things like this into a life or death struggle for power!
That more than who takes who's name will determine weather the marriage succeeds or fails.1
Most Helpful Girl
Personally I think this is one of those archaic institutions that people just make too big a deal out of. Status quo cr@p. I mean, why not pick a whole new surname together that signifies your new bond? That'd be cool, right?
People change their names all the time for a multitude of reasons:
- They don't like their name
- They want a "fresh start"
- They found a name they like better
- Witness protection
- They adopt a child or are adopted
- Their financial situation changes (e. g. they become an heir to a prestigious family)
Hell, people change or keep their names for WAY less important reasons than a lifetime commitment (i. e. marriage). Frankly I don't get why the bigger the commitment, the more willing people are to let something like a name destroy it. It's just a whole nother point of contention if you approach your significant other saying, in order to symbolize our equal commitment to each other, I expect you to change your last name to mine, while I keep mine as is, m'kay?
Names are things other people give you. Like with any gift, you should appreciate it, but it doesn't mean you've got to hold onto it forever, especially if it means destroying the most important relationship in your life.1