I want to tell my husband that I want a divorce. I am afraid of the drama of getting him out?

We have been together 21 years and we have 2 beautiful children. Our lives have been filled with the drama of addiction for most of those years. Things are a bit better now, He drinks limited (HAHA), But I just thin my life would be better with out him, He brings nothing to the table but a paycheck, He has no passion for anything in life besides beer and watching sports. I just feel done. But when I tell him this he will explode and then never leave. He will make life a living hell until he finally leaves. This what I want to avoid. I just want a peaceful conversation and he packs his sh*t and goes. WHat can I do to end this more peacefully. He will start drinking more when I tell him and become belligerent. I need a peaceful solution. Any ideas?


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  • Force him to go into counseling with you- to repair the marriage. Once at the site, your problems and lack of interest in each other will become SO apparent, that EVENTUALLY either of you will have the courage to propose divorce.

    Don't just give him the ultimatum now. Like you said, he'll explode and give you living hell. Do it through a third party! Peace!

  • Yeah, like "don'tknowanymore" said below, a third party is probably needed here. Even if its not a counselor, there needs to be someone involved when this is presented to him. Have you ever thought about asking for a separation instead? This way, he can get used to the idea of it without going full force into a divorce. This will let you know whether you really want to go through with it too? Perhaps it would be a wake up call to him? And, another suggestion might be to WRITE to him as I know talking can sometimes come out wrong and then it does lead to an explosion. I have a similar situation -- married 23 years, 4 kids, and we're in counseling. My husband doesn't drink but he has an explosive temper. I find writing to him works better. Perhaps leave your husband a letter indicating that you want to seperate for a while so you can have the time to think about whether you can handle staying together. See what happens. But, if there is any issue of safety, definitely get a third party involved. Let us know what happens. I am in about the same place and trying to decide what to do.

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