I am not a happy wife since I got married. Whom to tell first?

My husband was a very gentle nice boyfriend. He wanted to me to marry him, and he said to me that he would do anything for me.

Now we are married, and I am not allowed to go to another city which is only 3 hours away from home without him. I am not allowed to talk about my ex boyfriends nor male friends. I had to get rid of some of my good friends, because my husband does not want me to see them. He forces me to behave as I am believing in his religion (he is Muslim). I am not allowed to wear skirt if it shows my knees. I am not allowed to travel alone. He gets angry much more easily than before we got married. He shouts at me. I have no freedom.

I talked with his sister about his behavior, and she got shocked, because she did not know how he really is. I am doing my best to keep this marriage, but it seems he does not want to treat me nicely any more. I want to leave him, and I want to be free to go anywhere again. I would like to get divorced in the future, but should I talk with a solicitor first or my husband first?


Most Helpful Guy

  • It sounds as if your husband may not be receptive if you brought it up. Talk some more with his sister, maybe they have had this go on in their family before, or she could possibly know someone you could talk to about help.

    It may be his religion, or maybe he is really insecure about the possibility of losing you. Talk about it with him if you can, but tread lightly. The solution to this problem should lead to your happiness and well-being; even if that means you aren't married to him any more.

    How long have you two been married?

    • He told me yesterday that his mother thinks that I would hurt him (like with knives or something like that) one day. He said that he was joking, but it is not a funny thing at all. Then I sensed that his family also thinks about me as he does, and if so I cannot talk with his sister any more. She must be on his side. We have been married about a year now.

    • That sounds rough to deal with. Do you have any way of leaving Turkey if you wanted to?

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • This is one of the problems of cross over marriages. As a acting muslim that's not strange, but what is that he would start this after the marriage. Did he tell you he was a muslim before you two got married, if not I would thank he might be controlling, if so you should have looked into that religion a little deeper. I would talk to a solicitor first then to him and ask them to explain the muslim religion to you better, the life of a muslim wife is much harder then that of a American wife.

    • Thank you for your comment. I knew he was a Muslim, and now both of us live in Turkey, his country. He was not bossing me before we got married.

    • I ask you another Question, Look at his family is his dad a very Ruling person, does his mom submit to his dad in all things. as you know in most muslim family's the house must submit to the father(head of House) maybe he is trying to run his home like his father does, it's hard for me as a American and a christain to tell you how to run you're lives America is much different. but you must ask GOD first what to do and for him to show you the way

What Girls Said 2

  • Did you know what his expectations were of you before you got married? Was he a practicing Muslim man before you got married? His behavior does not sound weird to me if he is a practicing Muslim as many of my friends are.

    If you are not willing to behave as a Muslim woman/wife, you should talk with him about it and consider that this marriage may not be the best fit for you. In the future have these discussions with your mate before you say those words of commitment.

    Good Luck.

    • I must say that he is not an ideal Muslim. He drinks and smokes. He goes to mosque just a couple of times a year. I got very frustrated because even himself is not practicing his religion that much, yet he is forcing me to behave as if I were Muslim. I have tried to talk about differences between his belief and mine, but it failed. I will try again, next time more softly, because I don't want to fight any more. Thank you for your comment.


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