Would you allow your husband to work after marriage?

Or would you prefer for him to stay at home with the kids?

doesn't it sound funny when tables are turned (only) in the question?
This one is for the misogynists out there.

Some butthurt guys coming :p

(Just in good humor, guys )

  • He shall be permitted to work!
    Vote A
  • Well, someone has to see the kids. Please, stay at home darling
    Vote B
  • This is not one gender's decision. We all have our individual discretion to work or stay at home
    Vote C
Select a gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
I decided to ask this because in a lot of cultures and patriarchal societies it is actually the final decision (order) of the husband that decides whether a woman can work or not.
Her say holds no value


Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm hoping to God that no kids will happen ever but I feel like they will and when that happens I could literally not care less what he does. If he says one of us HAS to stay home it's going to be him 'cause there's no way in hell I will be weighed down any further than I have to be by a child.

    The absolute worst thing that could ever happen to me is that I would have a child so I will be attempting to return to normal as soon as humanly possible after its birth (if a birth, for some reason, happens).

    I would literally rather work, and then give all my money over to childcare workers than stay at home and have to deal with a kid all day.

    Maternal instinct = no

    I still refer to small humans as creatures and "it" even after they've been born and have an apparent gender. It's still an it and a small creature.

    And yes, this will offend moms out there but you know what? You do you. You repopulate the world. That's awesome. You produce the small creatures. I'll stay over here and avoid that at all costs.

    • Wow, that's some strong opinions.
      I do agree that no one must be weighed down by anyone, but it's not necessary that a child will do that to you.
      Some call it the 'biggest blessing' :P But I'm only speculating.
      It's possible it might change your thoughts though

    • The worst and most annoying thing you can say to someone who doesn't want kids is to "have one and it'll change your opinion," I don't see you saying that to men when they say they don't want kids.

    • Hey, what do I know, that's just what I've heard. And trust me, I'd say that to a guy too. Look at the question, do I even seem biased towards a gender? :P
      It's usually difficult for the woman because you have to bear the child. That's why I believe the ultimate decision should lie with you

Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't get this stay at home kinda questions.

    When I was a kid back in the old country.
    We just hired a housekeeper to take care of the housework.
    My ma and pa both went to work.
    I go to school from 7-4 on good days , 2 hours commute back home.
    Be back by 6pm ish just as they are back from work.
    Dinner at 7.
    Bed by 10 ish.

    Here however there's this entire debate about who should stay at home.

    There's this saying back in the old country.
    Women hold up half the sky.

    Everyone is expected to work.

    • This is the winning ritual and what must be expected of the society and all genders.

      However, it pains me to see when such roles are strictly defined to genders.
      Where are you from? I suppose it differs from culture to culture

      (But also, not everyone has the kind of money to hire a housekeeper. That is one of the key issues which raises these kind of questions )

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    • It's alright.
      A bit too crowded but well some people like it cozy.

      As for the efficiency part. I've noticed that lol not by much but it seems people don't really have pride in their work here.

    • Nice.
      Thank you.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 12

  • As long as there is enough money to feed the kids and pay the bills, I don't care who does or doesn't work. If he wants to stay home with the kids, I will work. If he wants me to stay home with the kids, I will.

  • I know some couples where the dad stays home, and I know others where he works I think its about coming to a conclusion on what you prefer and what you enjoy!

  • Whoever makes less money should stay home during the child's infancy. Then everyone can go back to work if they choose.

  • Guys are providers and the breadwinners. His butt better work or else we divorcing and his butt will be on child support.

    • And why do you believe in such strictly defined gender roles that in my opinion are archaic?

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    • So I guess what I'm saying is why do you think "guys are THE breadwinners?"

      Women have always worked, either inside the home (the farm) or at large, and contributed to the household.

    • I've already stated my reason for saying what I did, sir. I wish to talk about it no longer. Good day.

  • I GUESS I'll allow it.

  • I'm probably gonna end up marrying a doctor like myself so I can't imagine anyone going through medical school hell only to stop working and stay at home (I do know some women who have though)... but I wouldn't be against it, whatever he works hard and commits to. What I envision probably will happen is whenever we have kids, I will work less to stay home with them and nurse and all that... but I'm not sure. I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm open-minded about this.

  • Whatever he wants to do I will support and work my way around his goals and dreams. If he wants to work that will be fine with me, if I had child with him and he wanted to be with our child then sure that will be fine with me also. If not, I prioritize everything in accordance to importance. So if i did have a child, i would stop working to look care and nurture the little one, otherwise I will be working also.

    • So basically your priority is what he wants first? You'll build your life upon that even if it means leaving a job that you love?

    • Well I would ask him what he wants to do. Then yes, build a life around his goals. I wouldn't be bothered leaving a job I love. If I really wanted to, I can go back.

    • I see. It's just surprising how it appears that the man's goals are more important than the woman's.

  • yeah I would prefer he worked

  • If my then husband wanted to be a stay at home dad when we were together, and have me go out and work, I would be more than fine with that. Because after a week he would be begging to go back to work and have me at home , most men can't handle it and have no idea what being a stay at home mom entails.

    • So you mean it is easier for women to be stay at home moms when compared with stay at home dad?
      I assumed it would be equally difficult for a driven woman. Staying at home can be really difficult

    • I did it for 8 years with my kids.

    • And how easy was it for you?

  • lol, I love this. Don't forget to make him take your last name first as well and if he refuses to do that then call the wedding off because he "doesn't accept you".

    • Hahah!
      I wish you had somehow said this before I posted the question. Damn, I missed it xD
      I'm pretty sure soon there will be an all-assault war on this arrangement

  • Well, if he inherited millions.

  • I don't want kids, and I'm not too fussed about being married either (although I do want a committed relationship). If I make enough money to support us and it's what he wants he can stay at home and do housework and look after our cats while I go out to work

    • Haha works, cats babies - same difference :p

    • Nah, very different, that's the point :') . I don't like kids, I do like cats, see? ;)

    • Right, of course :)

What Guys Said 8

  • The dirty little secret of so-called "feminism" is that *both* spouses have to work to make ends meet, to pay the taxes required to support the welfare state the so-called "feminists" want.

    So many women would *like* to stay at home and raise children, especially in the early childhood years where nurturing full time is essential, but economic realities are such that they *cannot*.

    Heck, so many *men* would like to stay at home and not go to jobs they hate if they could.

    • Feminism has been long tainted now.
      I agree, but strictly the word means equality for both genders without being subjected to prejudice. That in fact stands by the fact that men who don't want to work (and there are many) can just stay at home and feel looked down upon.

      To each their own

  • Lol plot twist!

  • I would work to bring home some income. The last thing I would want is to be at the mercy of my wife pocketbook.

  • Are there actually guys who don't allow their wives to work after marriage? Lol why

    • Oh yes, I was also startled. These are mostly developing/under-developed nations.
      The not-working idea sounds unusual to us whereas the 'working married woman' idea sounds crazy and too-Western to them.

  • Can you name some of these societies?

    • of course. If you see the developing nations like Bangladesh, Pakistan, rural India, not to miss the Islamic states (that's just another story), UAE etc

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    • What you're doing is casting an aspersion of dominance uncharitably where there need be none. If there are societies where women can't work (and this is codified), it's not likely out of a need for domination but a belief (however bigoted) that it's the only way that will work.

      So why is it you think it's just that men are naturally domineering assholes? My experience has shown this not to be the case, and history shows plenty of men loving, and even submitting to their wives in all things (especially if you're talking Victorian era).

    • I am referring to the current year 2015 and not Victorian or pre-industrialisation period.
      There is evident factual dominance (if you desire to believe otherwise, that is something else then). That is how the term patriarchy came around.

      A few links -
      Quote - "In a country where a woman cannot even open a bank account without her husband's permission, here are several other things women in the Muslim kingdom are still unable to do.."



      This are undoubtedly better here in the West, but these are facts from around the world.
      We are talking about rules and not exceptions.
      I will leave this here now :) thanks for your opinion

  • Allow? might wanna rethink that

    • It is what it is. Rethink to what?

  • You might want to open your eyes, dude, because I see this arrangement that you're laughing about all the time. Welcome to the 21st century.

    • I'm not laughing because I'm unaware, I'm laughing because it's ridiculous.
      What other societies do you know about except a few that I mentioned in a comment above?

  • The top can work, the sub stays at home.