Need advice on obligations to in laws?

I need some advice on how what to do with my future in laws. My fiance and I have been together for three years and are getting married in the spring. My future sister in law has been with her now fiance for 7months and are getting married before us. They are both older than us. It's been clear that she wanted to be first and I'm ok with that. However, now she doesn't think she'll be able to one day be a stay at home mom. She wants my fiance and I to live together with her and her soon to be husband when we're all married so they can save money. I don't want to for many reasons and no one other than my fiance seems to understand why. Another thing is the house is in the same neighborhood as his parents. They'd rent it to us. What do I do or say if the topic is brought up.


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What Guys Said 2

  • I agree with you, that's not a good idea to live with them. You could let them know you're not comfortable being tied to an obligation like that. And you can list several areas where you see a potential problem. Let them know you appreciate their offer but you and your fiancĂ©e feel better to work on living arrangements with each other. In this case it's best to start out being diplomatic. They can't force you to live with them. Just be firm, but kind in your resolve.

  • This sounds like an AWFUL idea. Don't do it. You aren't obligated in any way to ruin your life to please someone else.

    • Exactly how I feel. It'd be a nightmare. I'm dead set against it but don't know what to say if it's brought up. I have a feeling they're going to try to convince me.

    • You AND your fiancĂ©. (His cooperation is the most important thing) need to present a strong, united stance against it and spell out specific reasons for your argument.

    • He's against it now as well. He doesn't have that great of a relationship with her to begin with. But I also feel like if I say the exact reasons, like her rushing into a marriage because she wants to be first and barely knowing him and I don't want to be involved in their marriage fails will put tension between my future parent in laws

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