I know this may sound crazy coming from an American woman, but I think my life would have been way better if I had an arranged marraige. Why? Because the rules are laid out. You know that no matter what you and this person will respect each other and set goals together. When I work with this person there will be a benefit to me and our family.
Dating is hard and it sucks. I have dated men... built them up and helped them with their dreams. What did I get after their goals were reached? Nothing and here I am alone.
I would have wasted much less time, energy, and efforts if I had an arranged marriage.
(People have marriage all wrong these days. Marriage isn't about a fancy wedding. Marriage is about dedication, hard work, and respect. Marriage is something you have to work at everyday, like a business).
- I feel I would have accomplished more with an arranged marriageVote A
- Arranged marriages are NOT for meVote B
- I don't know what an arranged marriage isVote C
Most Helpful Guy
Well I never want to get married, but I'll be answering this question in general, okay.
I am not against marriages, or arranged marriages as such and it's not wrong to have an arranged marriage but then I don't see any logic in arranged marriages, why? that's because according to me arranged marriages are rather reactive in nature, in most arranged marriages you don't even know the person before marriage and so you are totally in an uncharted territory, so one has to start from scratch and so you are placing in a reactive situation, because you start to get to know the person after marriage only and I see no logic in it.
You said something about ruled being laid out, okay, but then do you really want to follow the rules being laid out by your elders for your life, I mean don't you believe in making your own rules for your life, or your married life? okay, I am not saying that you shouldn't follow the rules laid out by elders, if you are fine with that then it's okay. It's your choice.
Both love marriages and arranged marriages have their advantages and disadvantages, after nothing is perfect, one has to work towards making their relationship perfect, I mean perfect according to them. However on a personal level, I see no logic in arranged marriages, I mean I can't even imagine being with someone whom you don't know before marriage and someone you don't love. However some people don't mind having arranged marriages so that's okay.
I believe in love, true love and so I do believe in love marriages and if both partners work together even love marriages can be extremely successful.
This is only my view.0
Most Helpful Girl
In my opinion, if you really want to be an adult your parents need to stop making decisions for you. You need to make some mistakes so you can learn from them that is how you mature, your parents can't do everything for you. Even if it is an arranged marriage the "rules" are not all neatly laid out, you come up with your boundaries and agreements in a relationship as it progresses. You can not possibly factor in all the variables of the other person's personality to come up with a tidy little set of rules before you even know them! I can assure you it is not the fairy tale you think it is, I have a muslim friend who had an arranged marriage at 18. Her parents found the "best guy" they could and thought he was a good match for their child. Then he started beating the shit out of her two months into their marriage, so now she's a divorcee at only 19. Thank god she never got pregnant with his children because then she would have had ties to a very abusive terrible man. Her parents feel horrible and may never forgive themselves, and she's traumatized for life now! You need to rely on your own instincts and get to know a person for YEARS before you commit to something as serious as marriage. My boyfriend and I have had disagreements but we always work through it and by the time we get married we will be an unstoppable team who are really in sync because we know each other so well. Marriage should be a reward you give each other for having worked hard and building a strong relationship together as a team.0