Most Helpful Guy
1) Meditation can take a very long time to have an affect. The more involved you are with something, or the more deeply rooted it is, the longer it will take. You are deeply involved with your husband and have deep rooted feeling. Dealing with him might take longer than just about anything else.
2) There are a lot of different kinds of meditation. Some work better than others. It also depends on what you are after. Some types of "meditation" are not meditation at all, they are hypnosis. One is good for you, the other is bad for one. Even with good forms of meditation, it can become hypnosis if it's done wrong.
3) You might be doing it wrong, or doing it for the wrong reasons, or doing it with the wrong frame of mind.
4) If you are doing meditation and your husband is not, you guys might be on completely different wavelengths. If you are expecting him to be some kind of spiritual being and he is not, that can be a big problem. In other words you may be holding him to a different standard than most of society would.
5) You are being reactionary. That's exactly the kind of thing that meditation should counter. If you are losing your center and reacting to things, see #1-3. It can take a very long time of doing it properly to remain non-reactionary under all situations.
6) You shouldn't be looking at your husband so much as looking at your reaction to him.1
Most Helpful Girl
Often times meditation isn't enough to come to terms with annoying traits in him, or conflicts that may arise between you two.
Try to continue meditating, but also voicing some of your concerns to him when you feel like meditation will not suffice as a resolution to that particular issue. Otherwise, it's very easy for smaller issues to increase in intensity and eventually make you completely lose it (hence the bashing his head in) as you reach the inevitable breaking point.0