I have been in several relationships
that were completely toxic leaving me scarred and and scared! then I met the most amazing man, we got together, got engaged, and he begged me to move in with my 2 little girls. things seemed to be great. like he had nothing to hide. I was on cloud nine. he does work with a lot of women in his profession so I would ask what's up with that when one would send a text or call late.. he would answer and I would leave it alone. well apparently this bothers men. to be accused of things they are not doing. he told me he cannot deal with it and refuses to do it again (his last relationship she never trusted him) I have tried to apologize and told him I would never look at the phone or question him again if things could go back to the way they were before. he says he needs time. he says that the accusations to him and distrust are the same to him as I would feel if he were to cheat on me...we live together. I cannot move out due to my kids being enrolled at school and finances. where do I go from here? I love him and want him back...he says just be his friend right now, but how do I do this? I want him back so badly...i am regretting everything I ever said...please help me! thank you
Most Helpful Guy
Give him time. Really, when a man says "I need time" just say "Okay." We tend to not lie about that. Talk to him now, because you've made a mess of it, and just make things official; ask him how he feels, tell him you will give him the time and space he needs ( and leave it at that ) and just be there for him and let him be there for you. Explain yourself ( tell him of your past ) and express your reasons ( reasoning with him will go far ) and apologize for not taking into account his past and ensure that you are not "her" not by repetition and crying but by calmly saying so. Acknowledge that both of you have been in sh*tty relationships and make amends during that conversation saying that both A) you realize he is not your horrible ass boyfriends and is a good man and B) you are not his horrible girlfriends and will not mistreat him or distrust him.
Then let him think on it.0