I want to get married and have children, but every time my boyfriend brings up getting engaged I get scared and try to change the subject. I love him though, it's not him. How do I know when I am ready? I think it is the idea of change and all that scares me.
How do you know if you are ready for engagement?
What Guys Said 1
Well any kind of change scares the living hell out of me so I can see where marriage (or the idea of it) might be catastrophically shocking for you. The questions you might want to ask yourself are these:
1. Do you want to spend almost all your time with this man.
2. Do you love him.
3. Would you cheat on him if you had the chance and no one would find out?
4. Does it hurt to imagine living without him?
5. Can you imagine living without him?
6. Can you live without him?
7. Are you willing to make sacrifices for him and yourself?
That might help you come to a conclusion about whether or not you're ready. How long have you been with this man? You probably don't want to marry someone you've known for 3 months.
Also, be sure that when you get scared and try and change the subject that you aren't hurting his feelings. He's going out on a limb trying to put forth the idea of having a family, and if you just ignore him, it'll hurt him. Explain to him you're scared, make sure he knows it isn't him, but that you're scared.
As for actually going through with it, I've never been married or engaged or anything, so I don't know too much about that kind of commitment. I can only guess it's something you have to come to terms with on your own.
I hope I helped, and I hope you can have a happy life with him1
What Girls Said 1
change is scary - but change can be good! you love him, you want to get married and eventually have kids, it sounds like you might be ready to take the plunge. only you can know if he's the right one, but in terms of the timing, sometimes you just have to jump in! sounds like you're being cautious and thoughtful about it, and you may actually want to sit down and have a meaningful conversation about it with him where you don't avoid the subject :-)
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