Conflict with my wife's friend?

Conflict with my wife's friend? So my wife wants to go on a getaway to Europe with her best male friend. They've been friends for years (longer than I've known my wife). They call each other "best friends forever" and "big sis" and "little bro." He treats me with contempt and is always trying to minimize me in her eyes. He is ALWAYS around, and it seems my wife and I can't do anything without her wanting to invite this guy along.

I've tried my hardest to respect her other relationships with people and not be a controlling jerk. But this guy bothers me. The thing that strikes me the most is that this guy has become more and more of a presence in my wife's life the closer we've gotten. It's almost as if he's competing with me for her affections and has stepped up his efforts to remain the #1 guy in her life as my wife and I have grown closer. Every time my wife does something, or goes on a trip with her girlfriends, he comes along.

Both him and my wife are insistent that there is no romantic relationship at all. The thing that makes me so angry is that I have told my wife I would love to take a trip with her and she dismisses it as something she's not interested in. Now she's already booked her plane tickets to go to London with this guy in January. I'm at a loss and very angry. I just don't understand this, and part of me just wants to tell her to just divorce me and marry him. I love my wife so much, but it seems like she's more interested in spending time with her "best friend forever" than around me. What do I do? Should I leave her?

It should be noted that I have tried to talk to her about this. She just shuts me down and tells me I'm being ridiculous, that this is "their thing" and I should just get over it. I've also confronted the "best friend" and he says that he's known her longer than me and that I should just BACK OFF, that I don't understand what they have and how special it is. Am I wrong for being angry and feeling like my feelings are being trampled on?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Would you feel the same if he were gay or a woman?

    I mean in my opinion she's being dismissive either way, but is it neglect or the idea that she could be attracted to him that's bothering you?

    • Have you ever been married?

    • No he wouldn't feel the same way if he was gay or a woman. I believe i can speak for him, and any other right minded male for this.
      I mean how obvious is it that this guy like his woman? Why is he always belittling and disrespecting him? And tbh the wife is as bad for letting him

Most Helpful Guy

  • id divorce your wife. he's definitely fucking her.


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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 4

  • You should be honoured by your wife, and she should definitely listen to you more than her BFF... geez, you are her husband for crying out loud. Ask her, why did she marry you if she is only going to value someone else more than you? This is pure disrespect.

  • Dude. Listen carefully!
    You need to ignore what all the others say!
    Your gut isn't wrong with this type of thing. This guy has contempt for you and belittles you. You should have kicked this fucker out a long time ago.
    If i was in this situation and the fucker wouldn't back off, i would get a bunch of my homies and get him alone and give him an ass whooping he won't forget.
    But im huat gonna assume you are a civil guy , since you let this go on till now.
    Dude, you need to put your foot down.
    You need to tell her that its disrespectful. Of her to spend time with a man who doesn't respect you.
    And a husband should come before ANY other man in her life. Tell her that.
    If she can't deal with that, tell her to just marry him instead. If ahe leaves you after that, im sorry but she never really was your wife in the first place.
    Dude , you ask if its wrong to be angry?
    Im angry at you dor making me read this shit. Dude just think about what our forefathers think about gow spineless todays men are. i dont blame you. Its the norm today. but you need to demand respect as a man and stand up for yourself. its not too late.

  • i find it interesting that she refers to the douche as her "best friend". Ur her husband. If your not her bestfriend, that a red flag right there. If you had a best friend that was a girl, she would never put up with it, not even for a minuet. i say fuck her and cut it off, u dont deserve all that stress.

  • Dude, I don't mean to join a circle jerk with all the other guys' answers here, because their answers are fantastic and can stand alone without any input from me. Still, I can't help but drop a comment!

    "Forsaking all others... until death do us part." That's part of the traditional wedding vows, and whether those words were uttered by your wife on the day of your wedding, that is a crucial aspect of marriage.

    If my wife had a best friend who happened to be another guy, I would calmly and clearly remind her of her vows, and let her know that it's either him or me: If she goes on the trip to London, a house with nothing but a kitchen table with divorce papers on top of it will be awaiting her upon her return. The same goes for if she engages in any kind of physical or emotional intimacy with him whatsoever. I would not accept this kind of contempt from my wife, and certainly not from her "bff."

    • Sometimes I wonder if me and him got into a fight, who's side would she be on.

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