Why do nice married/engaged guys show interest?

I've had twice now in the last year that I have had guys give me attention to where my friends and other guys who I work with who see this say, "he's totally into you."

One guy would give me special attention, touch me sometimes, but then also act hot/cold. I found out that he just got married shortly thereafter.

Another guy is a pharmacist that I work with. He's such a nice person just like this other guy and as innocent as a little puppy. That's what he acts like really, it was like he would always want my attention and be sad when I would be too busy to talk. My supervisor, who I'm friends with, would always joke about how Mohammed had a crush on me and he was smitten like a little boy... that was how he looked whenever he would see me. My supervisor found out 2 days ago that he's engaged.

Both of these men are just so kind to me and they aren't just looking for one thing, obviously. They get shy and boyish, really...blushing, dreamy-eyed staring...

Everyone says I'm beautiful in a classic, rare kind of way... and I would say that I really am a very nice person. I wasn't ever interested in the pharmacist, but I was interested in the first guy and finding out he was married was kind of... almost heart-breaking.

Why do these men do this? I don't need explanation of why married men who are horny and looking for one thing show interest... I mean, why do genuinely nice guys who are married develop crushes and act flirtatious and give a lot of attention to girls?


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  • Personally, I think it could be a lot of different things. Yes, like a lot of people will tell you, it could simply be sex. But, I'm more inclined to think that once some people become engaged, it's almost like they have cold feet. They have to test the waters to make sure that they're making the right choice, if they are really going to be able to be faithful to one person. For married people, I think it may be that they are looking for some sort of validation that they are still desirable. Especially, if their spouse isn't giving them as much attention as they used to.

    Just some food for thought?

    • That makes a lot of sense. I'm sure in some... maybe even many cases it is about sex, but I think its a huge generalization for people to assume that. The points you made are good ones... being that both of these guys are just starting to get into a real commitment, cold feet sounds plausible. They were both engaged when they were showing interest (the one who is now married talks to me less now, but I don't know if that's because I started talking to him less or not). Thank you!

    • Glad to give a little perspective :-)

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