I have been with my fiancé for 7 years now. We are getting married this month so I feel like this issue has to be solved now or never. Growing up in my family the men always came home from work and spent lots of time at home and with their wife. Our relationship is just not like that and he insists I am being emotionally abusive and taking away all his free time.
Most days we are both home from work by 5pm and he typically goes out with a friend to workout/get some exercise from about 6p-9p. They skateboard or whatever. When he gets home he likes to relax by watching tv and playing on his phone. His best friend is our roommate so he will join us most of the evening (we cannot afford our house without a roommate). At this point I've been sitting around the house for hours and I want to talk/hangout but he's wants alone time because he's been at work/out with friends. This almost always starts an argument that I'm too emotional.
Then on the weekends I want to cuddle & sleep in together, spend hours together etc. I feel like I haven't seen him all week since we are so busy but he says he's seen me everyday! The weekends are his "me time" and I need to respect his boundaries. He insists on the weekends he gets the living room to himself in the evenings and he sleeps on the couch. He falls asleep on the couch randomly throughout the week too. I just feel like I'm trapped alone in a relationship...
Shouldn't you get attention from your fiancé/soon to be husband almost every day? At this point I just feel we should be spending much more time with each other than friends seeing as I'm 24 and he's 23. A mans place is at home with his family not out with friends and sleeping on the couch. I'm not saying don't go out with friends but I feel this should be more of a 1-2 times a week thing. Am I nuts to expect a couple hours a day of attention dedicated to me/us? It has ruined our sex life and I hate that I have become so bitter and angry about this.
Most Helpful Guy
We are witnessing a gradual slip from family values.
At one time not too long ago 40's-50's the "home" centered around the family.
Dad worked 5 days a week, mom looked after the house and kids and almost every weekend was an adventure for the whole family. Sunday morning always meant church for the parents and Sunday school for the children. That was a typical American family then.
If you live in a typical American subdivision these days look up and down the street on Sunday morning. You see a few neighbors mowing lawns, some doing BBQ, most cars are parked in the driveway. Some are headed off to work. These are different times and different values which have gradually time shifted to what you see now.
The whole point to my opinion is that "the family" is not what it was but morphed into a scattered unit of activity with little sense of community.
The OP has one sense of family value while her SO has a different sense of family value. Neither person is wrong, but both under one roof are incompatible.
Just my opinion0