My boyfriend asked me to marry him and then 3 weeks later says he isn't happy or in love anymore?

I've been dating a guy for over 3 years. We have lived together for most of that time. We also have a son together. A few weeks ago he got down on one knee and proposed to me. I said yes and things were great. Then one day last week he started being distant towards me, and then he moved into our extra bedroom. I confronted him and asked him what was wrong and he told me that he wasn't happy anymore and that he wasn't in love with me anymore. He left the next day. He only took his shoes with him though. (He has left many times in the past. He'll stay gone for a few days or weeks and then ask if he can come back. He says he leaves because he needs time to think... but NEVER has he said he wasn't in love with me or happy anymore.)

He insists that he didn't end our relationship for another girl, but he refuses to tell me what went wrong. I am so hurt. Should I just leave him alone and give him time? I have to have some contact with him because he is the father of my child. I just don't know what to do.


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What Guys Said 1

  • Get some counseling, because you need to fix these problems of communication. If not for the sake of each other, then for the sake of your child.

    • I would love to get counseling, but he refuses to talk to me at all right now. The only time he will talk to me is when it is about the little one. I have managed to get him to say a few things, but he won't say what happened or what he wants.

    • Wait for things to cool down again, because when he has put up this defensive wall against you, you can't put any sense into his head.

What Girls Said 1

  • Im sorry you are going through this. He really should have enough regard for your relationship to tell you what's wrong. How can you fix something when you don't know what the problem is? I have no idea what is going on with this guy but he certainly sounds confused. Why does he keep leaving? He needs time to think... about what? He owes you that - especially since you have a child together. Communication is so important in relationships. People can't change that fast - from a proposal to moving to the other bedroom? That makes NO sense. Dn't blame you for being confused and feeling very insecure. You can't allow him to treat you like that. It is very counter productive and destructive to the foundation of your relationship. He needs to tell you what he wants. You have to listen to what he says without judgement or anger. Then you decide what is best for YOU and your child. Your mistake is allowing him to leave and come back over and over and over again. Next time? Do not let him back until you get counseling. Good luck.

    • Thank you. I guess when he has had his time he will tell me what happened. I will admit that I am a b++++ to him at times, but it is because he spends so much time playing sports and etc. That's why he usually leaves because we have had a fight. We didn't have a fight this time so I'm really confused. I want to listen to him, but I can't until he is ready to tell me. I agree that his proposal to the back bedroom makes no sense.. If he tries to come back, I don't think I will let him.

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