What do I make of this?

This guy that broke my heart like three days ago, just called me and put this song on so I would hear it. Long story short I thought I loved him but how could I love someone that wants to hurt me. We talked like everyday, for four months straight, since we really wouldn't see each other for the longest,like two times a month. He had proposed and everything, my family didn't know about him since they thought I wasn't seeing him anymore he's 20.

This is how he hurt me, So we were talking on to phone, and he brings up this topic on sex. (I haven't done anything with him.)

He starts with " I can't wait till were in bed together". I didn't have a problem with it since I can't lie I have pictured it.

Until he started saying stupid things like next time I see you I'm do this and this to you and all this crazy shit I've never heard of, anyways I told him I wasn't gonna have sex with him until I was ready and started saying all these excuses.

So I guess he didn't like it, and he started saying how there was many other girls that would love to do it with him, and how he's had all these other girls before that were finer than me, and well I got mad. I thought he loved me and thought of only me, It hurt. I mean I'm not gonna lower myself and have sex with him, just cause he wants you know?

But anyway he put this song on the phone LINDA MUJER, LIL ROB. IT goes something like this.

Every time I c u, I just wanna meet you say hello, how you doin, what are you doin tonight, we should hook up tonight.And goes on and on.

It's really sweet song and all but I'm just so confused what should I make out of this song and him, I'm never been through any of this and can't really rely on my family and friends for answers, since everyone thinks I broke it off with him a long time ago. I kind of had too because of my brothers anger of him being older and more experienced than me.

Oh and I told him not to ever call again. Did I do right thing, I feel things for him I've never felt for any other guy.

If I'm not a virgin, does that change things.
He just called and put this song on for me, (Unchained Melody), It touched me and I cried, but I'm still hurt but he keeps putting these stupid songs that just make me hurt more.


Most Helpful Guy

  • It doesn't matter if you're a virgin or not. If it's something you don't like or want to do, he shouldn't push you. It's like people who used to do drugs, smoke, or eat mean. If they don't want to do that anymore, it doesn't mean you should push them and be disrespectful to them. Sounds like you still have a lot of feelings for him. You have the choice to not listen to them and just delete them.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • I think you did the right thing, as much as hurts.

    It can hurt to do the right thing, but if you know your morals are going to be compromised, then it's the right thing to stand up for yourself, and if he can't get that through his head, or honor your wishes, then ultimately, you are better off without him.

    At the very least, he's being a creep about it, and you don't want to be intimate with someone who you can't trust or who will fly off the handle if you say no.

    I know it hurts now, and unfortunately it might not go away so quickly. But stick to your guns (even if he apologizes and says those "baby, it won't happen again" lines. Because he will do his best to wear you down in other ways, and you'll do things you might regret more than the possible regret you currently have for breaking it off.

    You need a MAN who will respect you. And I don't mean age, but maturity. There are 18 year old MEN out there. They're sometimes rare, but they do exist.

    I was 20 before I DATED anyone, so don't freak out. You have time and option to become the woman that a good man would recognize.

    • Ahh thank you for the good advice, but I'm about to update something that's gonna shock you guys.

    • I'm not shocked by either update.

      The answer remains the same. You didn't want to, you don't have to, and who cares how many times you've had sex in the past? He should respect your decision, or go do that with someone else. And you're better off not being pressured into something you're not into.

      He's creating drama. Don't let him do that. He's sweet just to manipulate you into a relationship so that he can wear you down.

      And about your message: Be better for YOURSELF, not him.

    • Thank you

  • Maybe you should just go out with me instead :) lol but seriously, there are plenty more fish in the sea, you just gotta know the good fishing spots ;). Well too be honest I think a guy that just wants you for your body just isn't worth having and your obv under 18 soo no one should pressure you into making that commitment when your that age so I wouldn't give him a second thought. Also people that try to manipulate you like that a mess with your head cleary have serious issues that may involve the size of his penis ;) butt you should just stay away from people like that because I know this guy who is 17 and has been with his girlfriend for 2 years but she won't have sex with him. but he stays with her because he loves her and can bear to not have sex ever because he just loves her soo much :) which just shows you that those kinda people do exist you just gotta wait for them :) Ov course. if you really do love him. and you can't get over him. then your screwed :s but that's the annoying why do all the good girls love assholes and not me issue which is a different story ;) but yehh be strong :) Xx

  • I think you did what's right at the time. Great job for standing up for yourself and following what you believe in! It's not easy. I think he's disrespectful for saying those stuff to you. He may be older in age but definitely a lot younger in maturity. You can take some time to think about what you want and then talk to him. Never lower your standards for anyone. If that person truly cares or loves you, s/he will not want you to lower them. Best of luck!


What Girls Said 1

  • You did the right thing. If the guy is going to try and convince someone younger than him to do something like that by telling her that he can have other people, than he's not worth it. if a guy really wants to be with you, than the first thing that comes in a relationship is respect. If he is going to tell you about other girls and what they would do with him, than he has no respect for you. Being older he should know that you need time to decide whether its the right thing to do or not. If he has so many other girls that are interested in doing things with him, than obviously he's not just focused on you because he's got time to listen to what these girls want. The song? I would not know how to interpret that.Id think maybe he's saying that all he thinks when he sees me is that he wants to know what I'm like beyond the imagination.

    • Did you hear it =) I thought it was lovely, but, maybe it's just my head because he dedicated it, don't know, but if you heard it, thank you=)