If so many are opposed to the very mention of marriage, why do they date in the first place? What is the purpose?

I for one would date to be out there and soon someday find someone who is serious and wants to marry me. I am saving myself (no sex, and this might be much, no tongue kissing because I do not want to get too attached because if he ends up dating other girls while I am dating him I want to be completely okay with it because it is just dating there is no real commitment in it, I can go on a date with another guy if I want also because it is just dating no vows or promises). These are things that I was taught and am fighting to stick to. But I wonder why people do the different. I feel like having sex creates an emotional attachment that when a breakup occurs results in emotional sorrow beyond that of a mere date with a peck or hand hold. This can lead to a frenzy or worse (watch the news). I have just wondered why people put themselves through this, why not wait for marriage, if he cares about your feelings and morals won't he propose? I mean I am not telling you to bug your boyfriend to marry you because this is of his own accord and you would be out of line, but at least deny him this precious (in my opinion one of your most precious to give) as some call it, flower. I mean marriage does not mean he won't cheat, but if you are married for the right reasons and truly feel and want to honor those vows, than I would feel more trust along with self-worth. I am not putting down anyone, live how you want this if but an inquire. Sex to me is a dopamine shot that can become addictive, but it holds no commitment to it you can get this from anyone, you can't hold someone to their word because there is no word to be upheld.
Updates:
I don't know what to say about the relationship becoming dry, but I see it everyday. I guess it is your wife and if you live her beyond sex you can do without. Emotionally, there has to be an explanation for that or a solution, but I don't know what, maybe there isn't one. You are right, don't get married, I don't know why I want to I know this is where it leads, I hear and see it everyday. I just can't will myself to have sex w/out wed, but it is better than a sexless relationship I guess.
My bad my 1st update was meant to be a response, but yeah my view has changed, if you want to shack up. Shack up, at least you will never be in a sexless or emotionless relationship. This way you can have sex and emotional connection with someone until the day you die.

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  • I think some people are designed more for permanent long term relationships and other people for hookups and short term flings. It's been suggested that having sex with a lot of people ruins one's capability to bond intimately with a member of the opposite sex. Women who wait until marriage to lose their virginity have the highest chance of a successful marriage.

    That being said, I could never support marriage. For one, it's a state sponsored contract that turns the entire gesture into a gamble. "I bet [this much money] that my relationship isn't going to fail." And another thing: marriage doesn't signify anything. Any two shitheads can get married to each other and divorce in a month. If two people love each other above all else they shouldn't need a ring, a ceremony, or new titles to prove it. They shouldn't even have to prove it. If you need to "put a ring on it" to prevent a woman from walking away, then that means that she probably won't make the best partner for the rest of your lives.

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    • Okay first of all, "I think some people are designed more for permanent long term relationships and other people for hookups and short term flings." No one is designed for a hookup or short term fling, no one wants that truly, if they say they do they went through something in their life that messed with their mindset of self worth. Second, the vows you read are not for show, if you read through them and really mean the promise you make then you should be able to see the significance it holds. There is a religious tie to this that I guess I should have mentioned, I am not afraid of anyone questioning my religious commitment. If you wish to deny it you may. I live how I wish. I guess I was wondering why not get married? Does the ceremony not look significant at all to you? And if someone is saving themselves for you what is there not to trust if you marry her?

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    • Eh... I don't think it's guaranteed that the spark will fade, I was saying more that people stop putting forth effort once they feel secure that the other person can't leave them. I was arguing against the institution of marriage, not long term relationships. You can hook up with guys if you think it'll make you happy, but there's no way I could partake in casual sex, I could only ever do it with someone I care for deeply.

    • Shacking up isn't casual, it is having sex with out marriage which I see as alright now, you brung up good points.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Marriage is not needed for being with someone for the rest of your life. Marriage only makes two people legally as one. I don't see what's the point in that. You still have your own life, hobbies, job and so on. You pay the bills and buy food etc. Together and you do that anyway if you're living with someone if you're married or not

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  • Seems like your description is different from the first question to answer that just cos marriage ain't the end goal why would that exclude dating I know people that have been together 30-40 years and not been married to eatchother they still love each other

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    • If someone decides to be with someone else someday than what do you have to hold against them "you had sex with me so you can't be with him"? No, there was no promise, you are dating not committing to anything. Teenagers in high school date but does that mean they have a commitment, no they can kiss whom ever they chose. Why do you think marriage is illegal at a young age, but have you ever heard of dating being illegal at a young age?

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    • Not many really mean their vows, they only see paper. Religion can also tie into this and a personal self-worth. Anyone can have sex with someone, you can even pay for it, but how many are willing to marry someone? It must mean something more.

    • Nope marriage means nothing to me the commitment for marriage yes but I be live that comment can exist without the need for marriage

  • Some people (both guys and girls) our age just date to fuck

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    • I guess I'm just peculiar, besides honestly guys can do that for themselves they don't need to date Lol and also people can pay for that no need to date anyone. What is the point?

  • I want marriage.

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