Why does my boyfriend keep saying he doesn't want to get married again?

I have been dating this really great guy for almost three months. He has two kids that live with his ex wife, and has just recently gotten divorced for the second time. The second marriage lasted for 4 months. He invited me to stay at his place every night for the first two months of our relationship, and now that I have officially moved in with him (his invitation), he keeps making sure I know he doesn't want to ever get married again. He says that he isn't looking to "strike out". I don't want to make a huge mistake getting married right away either as I have been divorced for 6 months myself. His kids absolutely LOVE me, and my kids love him too! I don't know what to do because I really love him and can see myself spending the rest of my life with him, but not at this point in either of our lives. I don't know how to make him understand that. I want to be with him in any way that I can get him. Please help me! I know he has feelings for me, and he could probably even love me, tho he hasn't actually SAID it yet. How do I get him to realize I am in no huge hurry to get married and that I just want to BE with him? And that I only want him? He has also made it abundantly clear that he has been with probably hundreds of girls like it's not a big deal. Why does he do that? Please help!


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What Guys Said 1

  • Ans: Probably alone the line "burnt once, eternally afraid of fire".

    Good question, though. Ask him, "You keep repeating you don't ever want to marry again, why?" Make him think. Make him face himself. He needs to heal himself of whatever unhealed wounds he has inside him.

    • Ok I will ask him. It really gets on my nerves, because it hurts my feelings when he says things like that. He has told me he can be a jerk (in more colorful language of course) and says he can easily turn his feelings off for indefinite periods of time. He hasn't told me he loves me yet, and we are almost three mos into the relationship. I wouldn't be so insecure if he could only bring himself to say it to me and mean it. Lol I am not asking for a proposal at this point, just some verificat

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    • I told him last night that when he says that it hurts my feelings. I told him I know he doesn't wanna get married right now,m and neither do I. I have only been divorced for 6 mos myself. I told him I understand that. But it WOULD be nice SOMEDAY. He said that when the kids ask, he's gonna tell them that he doesn't wanna get married again, not that he doesn't want marriage RIGHT NOW. I guess that's better that he can at least tell ME that he isn't ready RIGHT NOW. Because it doesn't seem like

    • OK, you tried the nice way (method 1). From what you said, it doesn't sound like your words got through enough. Where is his apology? Be prepared to use 2. i.e. receiprocate, just say "I have no intention of marrying you at this point", at least 3 times a day, increase dosage as necessary. Hopefully you don't have to do that.

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