I have a fiance but a guy at work used to have a major crush on me...

My question is, should I act a certain way towards him? I mean I used to treat him like one of my best friends at work and I thought that was OK because I thought he was gay and we never talked about it... but I left work for college and he messaged me on fb that he had a major crush on me and he asked me out...

I told him no sorry that I didn't see him that way, and I didn't talk to him again for probably two years, but I am taking a few years off from college and I'm engaged now.. but I went back to my old job, he still works there and we are acting like we used to and I don't know if that's OK or not... we are not flirting but I don't wanna lead him on... he knows I'm engaged too...


Most Helpful Girl

  • I have been in a smiliar situation, only it involved my current boyfriend (soon to be fiancee) & my son's father...

    You have to choose how important your fiancee is to you...make it MORE THAN CLEAR to this other guy that you've found the one & have moved on.

    Before I started dating the guy I'm dating now, my son's father was the only one I ever felt extreme feelings for...& I hadn't seen him in two years & had just began dating my current boyfriend like 5 days before I had to see him for court...

    When I saw him in court, I started shakin while all the memories and feelings from the past flooded me, but I realized while I was sitting there, trying not to throw up, that he was a part of my past & not my present or future-at least not in the same way...he also had abandone me while I was pregnanat & had never seen his son. All my high school friends are great, but I don't spend a lot of time with them because I'm just OVER that part of my life...

    I know your situation is difficult, just make it more than clear, without being rude that you're over that part of life...you've moved on. Just mention your fiancee a lot or frequently mention how happy you are in the life/relationship you're living now.

    To make it clear to my son's daddy...I recently told him that my boyfriend asked my father for permission to marry me...which he did:) My son's dad was more than happy for me...even though, he does still flirt. Just ignore any of the guy's advances and always interject info about your fiancee!

    Hope this helps...sorry it's so long!


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What Guys Said 3

  • Can't you have a friendship without it getting sexual? It does not seem right to lose a friend because he likes you.

    • Exactly and I don't want to lose him as a friend but I don't wanna lead him on or hurt him.. I thought being friendly was safe but he still got feelings for me the first time..

  • Ha ha, wow I wonder if girls think I'm gay. That kind of happened to me. No don't treat him differently, treat him like you always have. I had one mega crush on this girl from one of my college classes and once I saw that she was with another guy I learned to set aside my feelings. Trust me the hard part of this is on him. But treat him as a friend and he will value the friendship more than his own feelings and soon the feelings will subside.

  • When he knows that you engaged already then there is no need to worry about...

    Just treat him like a friend... BUT NOT AS "CLOSE" FRIEND

    Best wishes... ^__^


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