Should I go to my friend's wedding?

I just found out one of my best friends is getting married in April. He invited me to the wedding. I've been crushing on him for years. He's always known this. For various reasons, he's always been unavailable to me, but I still feel like I'm losing him now that he's finally getting married. Should I go, or should I send my regrets and tell him I'm crazy busy with work (I will be working 70-80 hrs a week once I start my new job)? Thanks.
Updates:
Thank you for your advice. I think I should probly go. I'm not gonna cause a scene or anything. No one knows I'm crushing on him but him and me.
I'm not gonna go. It wouldn't be a good idea. He understands. Thanks for your advice.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Hmmm then you'll have to decide if you can take the pain for someone who has always been a close friend first for you. If the friendship, being there for your best friend who invited you, is worth more than watching him somewhat slip away from you romantically... I mean he's still going to be there for the most part. All be it, you possibly won't see him as much or as before, but he's still in your life...

    I don't know, if it's more than a crush and you have a deeper love for him, it'd probably be too much to go, but if it's a crush and you value your friendship of his, than go and wish him happiness, since that's what you probably want for him anyhow.

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  • concentrate mainly on friendship and go to share his special day but also it will give you closure on any thought of you being together romantically

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Most Helpful Girls

  • I think you should buy the sexiest dress you can find and great pair of heel and go. Make sure to dance with every cute guy there too during the reception, have fun!

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  • You have just given Me "Probable Cause" for you to Probably Best... Stay home. It is going to Most Likely End up Making you Depressed all Day and it could Rub off on the Groom with your Gloom. xxoo

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 44

  • First off, 80h a week, jesus!

    If he's your friend, go. That's the mature option, in my opinion.

    He knows it's a tricky situation for you, maybe even expects you to say no for this reason.

    It's a good opportunity to show some character! Go out there and have fun.

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  • I went to a wedding of someone I had date, but never had sex with. She married and I was invited. So glad I went. I knew some of her friends who were there, and it was a warm feeling for all there and later.

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  • Is he your friend or not? If you really think of him as a good friend, go, be supportive! You should be happy for him, not obsessing over your crush on him. Otherwise girl... You are gonna be in hell for awhile.

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  • if he is one of your best friends then i don't know how you could possibly not be there.

    yes you should go to your best friend's wedding

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  • Sometimes you have to accept that things should have or have been explored with someone.. the one who got away kinda thing.. I have a couple of views on it really, it depends on how much you are willing to accept now, but I would have to say that it is always going to be something that you both will always be aware of, probably especially if he is taken now

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  • Ill always say this can you honestly sit there and see yoir crush marrying someone that isn't you exchanging intimate values and vow with someone that isn't you

    If you truly can believe you can then go. But if there is even a sliver of chance of you breaking down (in the bad sense) then no dont go

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  • If it's going to hurt you to go, then I suggest you do what's best for yourself and not go. You don't need to hurt yourself to please others. And if he's truly your friend, he'll understand.

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  • Now as you have already not been able to express your infinite love for him but you have your friendship left. I think It would be better to be a friend after his marriage so that you may get another chance. Who knows.

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  • I dont think he was doing this to Insensitive, he probably missed your company never the less, regardless of how you two felt. at least he likes you enough to still want you to be there. I'd say go.

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  • You should be happy for him and support him. If you really love him his happiness means more to you than your own happiness. Of course if you can't handle it, don't go.

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  • You will be busy with your new job, so that might get in the way. How far will you have to travel?

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  • He's a friend. Why would you miss his wedding? It's pretty selfish to skip just because you might be uncomfortable.

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  • 70-80 hrs... lol. be nice. Just go to the wedding and if u can't sit behind... it will be good. Since this happened then you dont have to reject the invitation. Kk?

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  • It's a good gesture to show your support and celebrate a big part of someone's life. If you can handle it, it's a good thing to do.

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  • Honestly its up to you. But if it were me in your situation i would put my feelings aside and show my support for my friend. But thats just me though.

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  • Definitely go, and in the meantime try to find someone to date so you don't think about your crush getting married.

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  • I think you should go. This will tell him you have moved on with your life.

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  • Honestly that's a tough situation. I probably wouldn't be able to attend without doing or saying something. But it's up to you and about how you truly feel.

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  • hey let him go
    you can always meet one of his friends

    you could end up hitting it off with his best man you never know

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  • As long as you can handle it you should go, I believe you are the only one who knows the answer to this question

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What Girls Said 20

  • This would be one of those, you may get drunk and say things you shouldn't situations. So if you think you could go and just have a good time then do it. But if you think by going this would dredge up all those feelings you have, making you feel bad your losing him, then maybe skip it.

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  • I've been in this situation, and I went to support him and to get closure, he's now completely unavailable so time for me to move on. The wedding gave me what I needed to move forward...

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  • April? You’ve got some time to think about it then, as the months pass you’ll be able to really think about it and see if you’re comfortable with going

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  • It really depends on what you're comfortable with. If it's going to destroy you and your mood may negatively affect the wedding; don't go. If you can handle it like an adult and be there for him; go.

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  • Dont go. you're not over him and wouldn't actually be there to celebrate his big day

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    • If he knows u like him he doesn't need another woman there to lust over

    • I don't know why all these people are saying go. I told my boyfriend that any hoe who used to like him is not invited, regardless of if i know she liked him

    • I hear you girl

  • Yes, he is still a close friend of yours. I feel like avoiding this discussion wouldn't give you closure though, maybe you could have a conversation with him?

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  • You should go girl. He will be offended otherwise and you might lose him as a friend

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  • If it's a Good friend you have to go and show support
    It may be hard, you don't have to stay the whole time.

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  • Yes. But be happy for him that he got married. A crush is just a crush. Its better if they end with someone good.

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  • Aw that’s sad I think you should go maybe the closure you need is the wedding! I’m sure you’ll find the perfect guy soon☺️

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  • I think you should go. It might give you some closure

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  • If he’s your best friend then I think the right thing would be to go

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  • Go. And bring a date.

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  • I guess. But don't make a move on him.

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  • You should go it might give you closure

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  • Yes if u love your friend then u should go

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  • No..

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  • No I wouldn't go

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  • I think you should go. No matter what, he was your friend first and you shouldn't miss out on his special day. Crushes come and go but you might regret not going later in life.

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  • I think it will be good for yourself to go, may be it can give you some kind of closure and you won’t be crazy about him anymore. Also i really doubt you’d wanna lose him as a friend and he might get a bit offended if you don’t go;) But do as you feel is better for yourself ;)))

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