I am married to an alpha female, how do I get her to love me as she did the beginning?

She is falling for another man which came back into her live. She still loves me but is not to sure if she is in love with me. I do have some to do with pushing her way in the way I act towards her. I am an overly sweet guy and get my feelings hurt quickly. I know I should man up and not be so quick to get upset. I am not afraid to cry in front of her in fact since all this started here in the last few months I have cry so much that she feels as if she can not talk to me about the issues. She has told me she does not want to leave me and she would love to see us last. She is afraid that we may never really know or feel what a marriage should be. I love her and do not want to lost her she is my best friend and lover. Any advice would be great.


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think the most important thing to do is to talk to your wife. The thing about all marriages is the fact that if you don't actively work on them they will start to fall apart. Your wife is possibly interested in this old flame that has come back into her life because of the fact that he's different, new, exciting. Not that you are none of those things, but that most likely none of those things have occurred in your relationship recently.

    The bit about the crying is something that intrinsic to your personality. I'm sure she knew how sensitive you were when she married you. The fact that she says she cannot talk to you about the issues when you are crying is her way of telling you that she would like to talk about things but that she needs you to control yourself a little more in those situations. You say that your wife is an alpha female and by being so she enjoys control and she will respect control in you. If you can sit and have a heart to heart with her, with out screaming or arguments and in a situation in which both of your emotions can stay fairly level I think you guys will have a chance at working it out.

    She says that she wants you guys to last so that is at least an indication that she really wants to see if these things can work out. I think most importantly you have to focus on controlling the crying (it's tough, but doable, just concentrate more on listening instead of wallowing) when you guys talk because that is something she would really respond to being an alpha female.

    I wish you two luck and hope this wasn't too much rambling.

    Also, don't forget to show her, not just tell her, that she is your best friend and lover.


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What Guys Said 1

  • What is an alpha female? I've never heard of that before. I've heard of alpha male, but alpha female? Huh, I guess I learned something today.

    From your post, it just souds like your wife doesn't respect you. And she really has no reason to respect you. She's looking at other men, you cry in front of her, and you sway the way she wants you to act. It's almost like she's your mother.

    I personally think there is no way for you to get her to respect you, and it will never workout. However if you think you can change it, you need to start focusing on what you want and you what you feel you should deserve out of the marriage. Read some self help books, boost your confidence, anything that will get you thinking like a man. If you don't want her talking to that other dude, tell her you will divorce her if she continues to fall for him. You need to make her feel like she would lose something important if you left her because right now it doesn't appear like she would be losing anything.

    She's got you in her pocket because you are the one that doesn't want to leae her, when she's the one acting up. You say she's your best friend and lover, but she's disrespecting you. That sounds like an abuse victim. Clear your mind of your attachement to her and think more rationally. You are not in a healthy relationship, and you either need to fix it or move on. Just like a battered wife, you are overlooking the bad behavior for "love". You will never fix your relationship until you recognize the bad as well as the good.

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