What are your opinions on public marriage proposals?

I think they are a little cheesy. I’ve been taught to keep things a secret until you know for sure that it will work out. If my guy proposed to me in public, I would say yes regardless because I don’t want to embarrass anyone and also feeling pressured to say yes even if I really want to say no. I think proposals are more acceptable if they are private or with family or friends but not in front of strangers that don’t know your story. There’s so many public marriage proposal fail videos on the internet and I feel bad for those people who went through all that trouble just to get rejected in public. Why would you ask someone to marry you if you are not even sure if they will say yes anyway?

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Deja Vu I've seen this question before.

    Anyways I personally don't like it. I'm more of a private person so I would want to do it where there's not a lot of people around and it's just the two of us. Besides I think it's more romantic that way.

    The only reason why I think some guys do it in public is mainly to pressure her to say yes.

    Cause think about it, you have the public's attention and when he proposes the crowd is going to expect you to say yes. If you do say no it's gonna be awkward and embarrassing and who knows the crowd might even boo the girl for saying no.

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  • I never understood the custom. I asked my wife in private. I did a big celebration in public when she agreed, but I wasn't interested in making a public affair. And it had little to do with embarrassment, I can handle embarrassment (all my friends have seen me butt-naked already as a result of my former streaking tendencies when drunk). What I didn't like about the idea was putting so much pressure on her to say "yes". I wanted to get the "yes" absent such pressure.

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    • It is actually extremely rude in my opinion to put so much pressure someone in such a public setting to say "yes" to something they might not even want to say "yes" towards. Maybe some girls out there find that romantic, but I find it extremely rude.

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    • @Bluemax That's a rather bad-ass place to propose. If I were to ever propose in public, that's one spot I might consider... but otherwise lean towards private.

    • It was recorded. He did it in one of the cells. When he got down on bended knee, the toilet came into view. It's actually pretty funny.

      They've been married for about 15 years now (can't remember exactly how long).

Most Helpful Girls

  • They're more than cheesy. Makes me think the guy is just super attention whore-y. Not to mention the awful amount of pressure it puts on the girl to say yes, because anything other than a yes will create a very awkward and embarrassing scene. It makes me wonder if they do that to coerce her to say yes haha. I know I'd have a hard time saying no just because I wouldn't want to cause a scene and hurt my partner's feelings in front of everyone. So I kinda feel the same way as you in that regard.
    I just don't think they're very tasteful. I think proposals should be more intimate and between the two people in the actual relationship, and not between them and a bunch of strangers. But whatever floats their boat, I suppose.

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  • I personally dislike being the center of attention so if someone would do that to me, I'd feel disappointed that they clearly don't know anything about me. For someone who really enjoys attention, that might be a lot less awkward. That being said I think it's a horrible situation to put someone in. Like you said, it puts a lot of pressure on the person being proposed to.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 84

  • I don't think they're cheesy... I think they're stupid.

    Doing a public proposal in any form does not make someone want to marry you more. All it does is add a heavy amount of pressure on both people, but the pressure mostly towards the one being proposed to and less on the one proposing.

    Those who plan the proposal to be public tend to do so as a way to tilt the stakes in their favour by adding on the public pressure on the other person, because it's common to think that the public want a happy ending and for the one being proposed to to say yes.

    If they say no, then the risk to the one proposing is the risk of rejection and looking like a total idiot in front of everyone. But at the same time, they also get sympathy from the public to lesson the blow of rejection.

    And on the other side, if the one who is proposed to says no, then they disappoint not just the one proposing, they also disappoint the public, while also coming off as a total jackass, regardless if them saying no is justified for reasons unknown to the public. Therefore a public proposal is in favour of the one making the proposal and is used to pressure the other into saying yes, whether they want to or not.

    Sure movies and shows make it seem romantic and sure, there are some in the real world who thinks it's romantic. But in reality, it's a means to use peer pressure to get what you want when you're clearly not confident in just being yourself and proposing to your partner in a way that is a bit more comfortable for both involved.

    Public proposals are a gamble that the one proposing thinks they can win due to the odds being in their favour. The bigger the stunt and the more outlandish they can make it, the more effort it seems that they put into it and therefore, the better the odds of the other saying yes. It's not romantic, it's calculated.

    Because of the above, I roll my eyes when the other says yes. And when the other says no, I laugh evilly on the inside at the epic failure of it all. I never feel sorry for the one proposing when they're rejected because they brought it on themselves. They played the game and they lost.

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  • there is a difference,
    a lot these days with pathetic reality tv influence do for their own ego more then partner,
    on the genuine side: can be romantic as long as not go over board for show, if genuine it be about the setting & surprise & her not the attention of anyone else,
    but only worth doing if know both love & committed,

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  • I say give her every opportunity to opt out. Applying the pressure of the public is just such a bitch move. It's like trying to force something to happen.

    Basically, If she don't want to marry me, I'd rather not marry her than end up with someone that never really wanted marriage with me. This advice goes out to dudes that don't pull out when they say they would and women that skip the pill to get pregnant anyways... why force your partner to be attached to you?

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  • Will be sure it will. works...

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  • It would be personal to me and highly superficial in my opinion. I’d really hate for anyone to have an opportunity to ruin it. To be fair, I’m quite grumpy if I’m interrupted doing nearly anything so I guess it’s not just this that would effect me. I should really address that come to think of it..

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  • I don't like public proposals. Sure, some will think a big, no-holds-barred, gushy this and fancy that, with an orchestra and a huge to-do in the public might be a romantic gesture, but this is between the couple and maybe a cherished few others, not the world. Mine was in a corner booth tucked in the back of a restaurant and that is about as public as it should be.

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  • they're VERY cheesy. they're also embarrassing and an unnecessary pressure situation - especially if she would normally turn him down.
    i was >95% sure my girlfriend would accept but opted to ask in a hotel in the canary islands. was supposed to be on the beach at sundown but it rained every day; we were down to the last two days of the trip so i had to do it in less-than-optimal circumstances.

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  • I think by now I've decided i would rather propose in a more personal fashion. I feel like public proposals only have the attention and crowd reaction going for them. Versus a more personal proposal where it may be somewhere special or at a perfect moment

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  • Proposing in public is ok in my book, as long as its semi private, like in a garden or nature walk and such.

    But "performance proposals," as I like to call them (sort of like the photo for this post) are a no. It's a way of sort of peer pressuring her to say yes so you feel better about yourself. Why make a statement about it like that? That's what a wedding ceremony is for.

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  • It's not so good to do this bc the girl will be embarrassed if she doesn't want to.
    From some aspect, this can be a kidnap as a result of which the girl traps in a dilemma that she can't refuse, or the public will swear 'cruelty' behind her.

    But if she really wants your marriage, then go ahead, it's an amazing way of purpose!

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  • *looks and stares down at the ground in a sad embarrassed face look* I sorta asked Demi last night if she wanted to tie the knot with me through Twitter and instagram and through video as well since I had no way of doing it face to face at the moment. To me as long as I’m able to marry the woman I’m in love with it really doesn’t matter where we get married or how I propose to her as long as she’s the one I want to spend the rest of my life with the one I want by my side

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  • I would make it for one reason, I know it would level up her libido and would find it fantastic.
    (It means I would know is the kind of proposal she would like)

    There is another reason I think some people can make it, to press her.
    (I prefer partners more than prisioners but some people doesn't perceive the difference)

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  • They are kinda cheesy and a bit unfair on the one being proposed to to put them on the spot in public where if they say no they look like a heartless person
    I would not do that and I would prefer not having it done to me
    But if you are going to do it get some shall we call it pre approval so that you know the answer will be yes so it becomes a gesture more than a suspenseful actual question

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  • I'm with you, I feel a little embarrassed for the girl because she kinda has to say yes in front of all those people

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  • I agree, but I also think that proposing in the presence of your family is inappropriate, also. It should be a private moment.

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  • If they're done right and both people could handle the other people I think that would be real love. But if he or she can't handle the pressure of people watching for that kind of special moment. Definitely a don't..
    So. Depends on the partners themselves and the situation

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  • thb I don't get why people propose in public... it should be a personal and important moment for them... and it's going to be public in anyways when they engage and get married...

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  • I believe things like this are intimate and should be done in private - Public gestures are more about the attention you are getting than the gesture itself

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  • Some like it and some don't, and then there are people who expect their other end to accept just because its in front of other people but most of the time its either sweet or very, very awkward.

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  • I know I'm never trying proposing someone in public. It could be embarrassing for both the people involved. Best keep it private and if it goes wrong, move on respectfully in my opinion.

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What Girls Said 59

  • Awful thing to do. They should have the right to say no without any pressure. Some people just aren’t ready for marriage yet and that’s okay, and they should be able to express that. Putting someone on the spot where saying no is going to make you look like a massive bitch is not okay.

    Only case I think it’s okah is if you’ve both been talking about marriage for a while and from that you know for sure she’s gonna say yes.

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  • I think they're awful. I don't really believe in marriage, but if you're gonna do it, the proposal should be intimate, something between the two of you. Plus, if it's in public then there's pressure for them to accept, which is not cool.

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  • I think they are cheesy and kind of force people to say yes. It works for some people, but a lot of them are really cringey. Personally I would rather an intimate one on one proposal but some people dig the corny. I'd suggest to someone thinking about doing one to know your audience and be sure you've had conversations about your future together and if your partner is into the idea of marriage. I'd advise caution but just because you and I don't like them doesn't mean other people wouldn't.

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  • i think it's cute, it shows that he loves you so much that he has the courage to show it others. I don't see why girls see this as cheesy or get weirded out when guys ask them to marry them in public if they already know they want to get married and have spoke on getting married as well.

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  • I feel like it kind of puts the woman on the spot. If she's not ready, he just put her in a position that if she says no, everyone around will act like she's just awful. Unless they've already discussed the possibility of marriage, a proposal should be kept private.

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  • Cringy, cringy, cringy. Some people like grand gestures, but I'd be embarrassed out of my mind. I'd want to propose in a situation where there would be just the two of us.

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  • I think they're nice of done well. Not like at like a fucking mall where he kneels in front of people who need to walk past, lmao that'd be terrible.
    Restaurants could be so-so literally depending on the sole restaurant choice- some may be too quiet.
    Imagine if it was like a beach with not many people. THAT would be amazing😍

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  • I'm The same as you. If I got proposed to in public, I'd say yes regardless, and then just quietly give the ring back and explain once we're alone.
    That being said, I do think public proposals can be really sweet. Just only do it if you know they'll say yes, like if you've been disgusting marriage a lot and they've said they're ready.

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  • I don’t think it’s something that NEEDS to be private.
    Some people like grand gestures, some people don’t. It depends on the type of people we’re talking about.

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  • They probably didn't know she would say no. They are blinded by love. That phrase exists for a reason.

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  • I would prefer a private initimate proposal. It could be in any setting, anywhere. But i would not want to share that special moment with thousands of strangers i don’t know.

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  • awkward because it can go south real fast. puts too much pressure on the woman to say yes so she doesn't look like a heartless monster. its actually not a nice thing if ur not 100% sure they will say yes

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  • I’d prefer to be proposed to (or to propose lol) in private. Even though I’d be certain to say ‘yes’. Id want it to be just us. And then the engagement announcement/party would be the big one.

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  • I don’t like attention in public it makes me uncomfortable. My fiancé asked me in bed after a long beautiful conversation. I cherish the memory.

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  • agreed. Unless it’s a sure thing, keep it simple and private.

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  • I think individuals who do that don't really think of how their lover feels. This should be done in private, and crowds can sometimes make individuals nervous to say how they truly feel

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  • I think I'd like it if it was super cute, creative, or clever you know? Nothing cliche.

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  • I think they are cheesy AF.
    But some people like it.. and maybe a lot of guys think girls like it... it's strange. In private would be nice.

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  • I think it is romantic especially if the feeling is mutual at least he is sure he want ls everyone to know you are his girl not like some other guys

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  • If it works for them it's fine. But i wouldn't like it to be done to me personally. I would love it if it was personal, for example laying in the bed togethe

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