because of my online affair, and the fact that because of it, the "other" mans wife asked him for a divorce after 30 some years of marriage, makes me sick, and I don't feel like I can live with that on my conscience...if I didn't have children under 18, I would be dead, that is a guarantee! I know I have" made my bed", but how long does this burning guilt and pain need to ravage my life...i admit my mistake in doing this while married, but this "other" person filled a void in my life that my husband refused to...i have been begging my husband to go to counseling for years, to help save this marriage, and even predicted this behavior months and months ago, before ANYTHING actually happened...after years of neglect and abuse, I finally said..."you have to get help with me in this relationship, or I'm gonna find someone who DOES care, who doesn't pull away from me, when I want to be close, who listens to my fears, and concerns, who tells me every now and then, that I'm pretty, that I'm worth it, that I'm a good mom etc, and he continually refused, and pushed me away over and over! so, it happened,it got exposed (and I DO believe, if your lying, you WILL be found out...nobody is invincable!) I knew this would happen...and all the damage is done to EVERYONE involved, and I can't get rid of the fact that I would have been dead a few days ago, if it werent for my kids...everyone telling me it IS my fault,and how could you do that to your spouse etc...is just reaffirming the fact that I AM A LOSER, that deserves ALL I got, and am getting...i can't bear all this responsibility for damaging ALL these people, and relationships...all I wanted was to be happy...i tried for SOOOOO long, I loved, I gave, I sacrificed, and I got taken in by someone who told me everything I wanted to hear (this "other"man)...somebody help, without confirming what an ass I am...i don't think I can bear anymore hatred on me...i just want to want to live again...i just want help!
Most Helpful Girl
its overwhelming right now with the shock, judgement and guilt but as they subside you will realize you didn't ruin the other mans marriage, he did or they did. you understand your actions werent the right way to fix things, so act soon (when you're feeling a bit more in control) to fix the actual problem, which is your marriage. if you take steps to rectify that problem (divorce or whatever it takes) then you will find some sense of purpose in this trial.0