Why does he say he wants a break?

Me and my fiancée just got into a huge fight over something that we should have been able to just shrug off. We have known each other for 6 years and been seeing each other for the last 3. We seem to be fighting more and more frequently over the last few months but he always just wants to leave and not talk about our disagreements. He says he wants a break from me. But that is all he says. Is that code for "I just don't love you anymore"? I feel my heart break every time he says it. I don't know what to do or say anymore. How can you need a break from someone you love? We both have very busy lives and barley get to spend actual time together as it is.


Most Helpful Guy

  • at the engagement phase, there's nothing you can just shrug off...the dating days are long past the both of you

    also, for the coding of taking a break, it means he wants you to back off...do it or it may jump to the next code which is breakup...you both need to talk, not when you're fighting, but when you're both calm and collected


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What Guys Said 1

  • This is a stress problem.

    Can you identify the stresses? His? Yours?

    Until then, regression - back to a time when things seemed nicer is typical, i.e. "back off!" (to those times)

    Once ID'd, you'll have to nurse each of those stresses and decompress them to manageable levels. Sooner or later you'll have to learn how to be good at this. These are your future juggling work, babies, terrible-twos, etc.

    He will follow suit by your leadership.


What Girls Said 1

  • Yes men need time to go into their "cave". Give hime the space that he asks for. At this time you have to appear as calm as possible. The more you chase him the more he will run away. You have the ability to change polarities in the relationship meaning you should pull away from him so that he has to chase you.