The reasons for that decline have complex sociological explanations. People are getting married later in part because lifespans have grown. This allows young people to stay single longer, establish their careers and settle economically before starting families.Marriage has lost its special status in society. Thus, for example, co-habitation has become socially acceptable and the law and the courts have followed suit by making many of the legal protections of marriage available to cohabiting couples. In terms of the law the watershed moment was the advent in the early 1970s of "no-fault" divorce. Prior to that, serious legal and financial penalties accrued to individuals if they were deemed to have been the cause of a divorce - for adultery for example - and a marriage license was deemed a legally binding contract. With "no fault" divorce, marriage became the one legal contract that government would NOT enforce.We shape the law and the law then shapes us, and as the marriage license became just an expensive piece of paper - although it still affords some important benefits, particularly in tax law and for SS - young people have come not to value it. Further, at the risk of inflaming some highly inflammable people, gay marriage may have worsened this decline. Understandably the gay community wanted it both in its own right and as a signal of legal equality. It's broad and generally quick acceptance in light of the Supreme Court ruling suggests that the gay community got that.However, by making marriage a political badge of honor and, as a cultural matter, by making it seem less like a covenant and more like a political transaction, gay marriage unintentionally further trivialized marriage at a societal level. By making marriage more common without solemnizing it, gay marriage may have made marriage overall a cultural shrug of the shoulders. Throw in the relative decline of religious belief in an increasingly secularized culture - it is interesting that the marriages that tend to endure, statistically, are those where the couple has deep religious convictions. For these and other reasons you have a recipe for the decline of marriage, especially for the young who tend to be the first indicators of cultural change.Put another way, in a cultural sense, youth are as much effect as cause. It simply, in the tumult of social change, has lost its value. The results of that, however, have not been necessarily good, but there it is.
Our society teaches us that if something isn't working, it is cheaper to replace it than try to repair it. Unfortunately, people carry that attitude into their marriage and they divorce at the first sign of problems. Young people see that many marriages don't last and they think there is something wrong with marriage, instead of realizing there is something wrong with people who don't stay and work on the problems in their marriage.
I personally think they should be able to solve problems in the relationship even before marriage.
Yes. When people ask me how long should you date before getting engaged, I say that you should date long enough to have encountered some conflicts and resolved them together.
I thought you said you were married nine times once before on here.
@Passinggas No, I have not been married 9 times and can't imagine why you would think that.
I think that you have a long ways to go before you reach an age where you’ll find a guy mature enough to actually want and sustain a serious relationship. When u get to about 18/ 19 you’ll quickly realize that even then u still have some maturing to do. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for a year plus now and sure we talk about marriage and things like that but we both have quite a bit of growing up to do before that happens. Sometimes people realize this and say they aren’t ready to be in a relationship and others just don’t want to be tied down. They like playing the dating game and meeting/ talking to whom ever they want whenever they want. When you get a little older, you will also find that there are many things you cannot do with a significant other that u can when u are single.
Its an incredibly demanding and life changing commitment to make. a lot of people are waiting for just the right person to make a go of it, others want to wait till they have finished college and found a stable career, others still simply dont want marriage or kids at all and would rather have all that time and money for themselves, and honestly i can't blame any of them.Whether you get married as soon as you turn 18 or later or not at all, what matters is that you try to leave the world a better place than you found it. Thats something anyone can do regardless of marital status.
Have an opinion?
My guess is that the biggest reason is simply because it's acceptable now. In the not too distant past, people were expected to get married. Oftentimes they were highly pressured to get married. That still happens but not nearly as much as it used to. In the past, people didn't really question if they would get married, it was just assumed.Another thing that is accepted now, but was a big taboo not that long ago, is living together outside of marriage. Living together is not the same as being married, but it's a close second. Therefore it lessens the appeal of marriage and is a viable alternative.If you hang around GaG long, you'll see a bunch of guys say it's too risky (referring to divorce and biased courts). I could be wrong, but I suspect they are not even close to being representative.
A lot of men feel like divorce laws are biased against them, people are more open to long-term, monogamous relationships without government involvement, and people are less religious so there’s less pressure to abstain from pre-marital sex or get married. A lot of people are also concerned about the direction the world is headed in with all the violence and instability, so having kids can seem irresponsible, it’s getting harder to afford children for some people, and there’s less social pressure to have kids.
Divorce rates growing up and debt have had a big impact on my friends. I know 7 friends off the top of my head whose parents divorced while they were young, and my two half-siblings (their parents divorced and one of their parents is my parent too) seem sore about it still. Almost all of my friends will be paying off student debt for the next 10 years.
I think its finally changing Many young people I know feel the same way you do! The reason is incredibly complex. Libido Dominandi is a 1400 page book, which explains why that is. But, i would say briefly, social engineering of the 20th century eroded the institution of marriage, the decline of Christianity and sexual liberation
We've built a hedonistic society. A society that prioritizes partying, drugs, sleeping around, and all that stuff, over basic human desires. Whether we like it or not, the vast majority of people want to reproduce, and most of those people want to find a stable partner to do such thing, as well as feeling loved. That's why you see a lot of people who said they never wanted kids or marriage, and lived hedonistic lives, reaching 30 and feeling lonely, full of regret, and desperately in need of a relationship and kids.For some reason we've glorified the single life. There's nothing wrong with being single, obviously, but it's dangerous to deny our nature and desire to reproduce.There's a reason why studies show time and time again that married people with kids are happier than those who aren't. Studies also show people that focus on relationships are happier and more stable than those who sleep around or jump from person to person.
I wouldn't plan on going on from men to men. I'm a loyal person.. not a hoe
Not saying you will
A lot have come to expect instant gratification, instant success, instant this and that. They are afraid to actually put some effort into worthwhile things, such as, a marriage. As olderandwiser said, the problem isn't in the concept of marriage, it's a problem of lack of commitment on the part of the individuals.
There are multiple reasons, but it usually revolves around specific issues.Marriage: 1) Seen as unappealing or not worth the effort 2) Seen as too costly 3) Seen as too court based4) A considerable amount of people either feel they can't or don't want that kind of commitment5) They feel the institution has a favorability problem with divorce.Family:1) Expensive 2) They have hereditary health issues they don't want to burden potential kids with 3) They don't want the kids to feel troubled if the relationship turns sour4) They're afraid they won't be good parents
Because marriage is a very specific thing. As marriage existed for thousands of years it was both beneficial and attractive to both women and men. Now women have changed some of the aspects of marriage and men do not find it attractive any more.Marriage had always been primarily about raising children (lots of children like 8 or more) and about God. Now very few people have large families and many opt for no kids at all. People are also the least religious in this time period. So minus those two things many don't even see a purpose for marriage. Then add on top of it laws that make sense for traditional marriages but few people engaging in traditional marriages, many men get screwed over in the event it doesn't work out. So there is little or no upside and a bit downside. Who would be interested in such a thing? Not many.
"I do want to get married and have kids" Just do what you want and forget what everyone else is doing. Marriage is failing most likely due to the lack of respect between the sexes and for the institution itself. Marrying the corporate world for a career has taken priority. The government has made divorce easy and really, the legal binding is minimal except for the division of assets, and custody, which is big business for the lawyers.
There's simply no reason to. Happiness is as they say.With the steadily declining economy citizens are forced to give up on some things in life, be it better car tires, a more powerful computer, better food every day, better home, traveling/vacations or marriage and kids (because frankly, those are the most expensive ones).
Because in the past it was a priority to get married fast for your family, otherwise, everyone would think you were some kind of freak, and that was not a good thing. Now, you get to do what you want (mostly), without any really serious consequences, and not care what people think, because they will judge you anyway.
People are scared. Maybe not a lot of masculine men, and to many women want to be like men. Just focus on being a great person, loving yourself, knowing what you want out of life, and how you want to be treated by others as you also love others. If you do that you will grow up to be a rare good woman.🙂
Marriage harms men more that it helps.Imaging your husband getting a red button that says eject, he can use it at any time for any reason. When he presses it you lose your love and half your money.You wouldn't want to marry if this was the case but it happens for men.
Society does not value marriage like it used to, so it was made super easy to end one for any reason. Smart people are now unwilling to bet half of everything they have and will acquire on the 50%-50% chance that the other person will unilaterally end the marriage contract.
Because the deck of cards that is marriage has become increasingly unfavorably stacked. For guys especially the incentive has lessened with it being worse for them when it doesn't work.I want it but I'm neither in a rush and need to be beyond a doubt sure I made the right decision
Jobs and careers- having their life set could be more important to them, or just because it is a lot of responsibility to uphold and they may consider it a burden.
It's a cultural norm, and a messed up one at that. Western culture teaches us to be innately selfish, and people have started to realize that marriage and children are hard.
Because women that actually want a family are rare, and marriage is an increasingly bad deal for men.. especially since 45 to 50% of all marriages end in divorce, 80% of those divorces are initiated by the woman, and in 90%of those cases men lose everything they have including their homes, cars, financial resources, and families. Those are the major reasons people are frightened of marriage.
You're right and I think it is easier for a woman to file for divorce because they got nothing to lose. if there were no any gains they wouldn't be going anywhere.
Because of financial reasons, kids are expensive and so is cost of living, guys lose big time in divorce which happens 7 out of 10 times, with those odds who would want to get married? and one guy said it the best when he said “would you jump out of a plane if your parachute had seven out of 10 chances of not working
Because it's no longer an obligatory societal standard. You have to consider the state of the world, how our resources are depleting, divorce rates, and how, at least in Canada, there is no legal "benefit" to getting married, as common-law marriage provides the same perks such as shared benefits.It's essentially just a desire for tradition and a big party.
For one other options the idea that you don’t need marriage or kids to live a happy life is increasing. I get it I do love my freedom & my money but the only concern would be when we’re old
The cost. $300,000 to raise a kid. Everything is over regulated now end expensive. Also women are not having kids until they are 30 which makes it less likely for them to have more than one or two.
Feminists and liberals ruined relationships and society. I do want to raise a family and have an exclusive LTR, but I won't get legally married. no man should.
Marriage is a religious thing. Only serious religious people should ever do it. And it is important. If you marry a woman who is serious about her Christianity she knows no desirable Christian man will ever marry her again if she gets divorced. So yeah its an incentive for her to stay married. Same for serious Christian men. They will never get another opportunity to date desirable Christians again after a divorce.
There’s nothing appealing to me with either. I’m beholden to nobody and I’ll stay that way.
Personally, I just don't have a desire to do that. It doesn't appeal to me.
You can not draw any accurate conclusions about what other people your age will want as adults.
I'm just talking about it in general. I've noticed less and less people wanting to get married
Less and less compared to... what? A generation ago? You wouldn't have noticed such a thing 10 years ago, for obvious reasons. If you are talking about how the opinions of your peers seems to have changed, I can only point out that it won't be the last time. However, if you are talking about everyone else, I would point out that you can only be comparing your current real-world experience to a frame of reference that can not be your experience, but must necessarily have been recounted by someone else, and is thus subject to the bias of their perspective. Just because someone says that people were once happy to get married and start families doesn't mean it was ever objectively true.
I didn't go to university for over a decade to sit at home and change nappies.
Is that what you think marriage is?
@ecfresh It's what you have to do if your have children.
I guess I read your initial comment about going to college as being that you have bettered yourself and now don’t have to default to a marriage of just being a homemaker. May have been out of context, because certainly being a parent and raising children is a far more important job than you can qualify for at college.
Because girls are having sex and calling it women empowerment!
Those girls are being ridiculous
I don't know, I do. I wanted since I was 13 aswell.
Which people are you talking about? If you mean your friends, they are ALSO 13, and should NOT be thinking about such things as of yet.Everyone I know has kids and families.
I don't plan on doing those things any time soon😂 my parents were talking about it with me and said they wanted me to get married. I just noticed a increase of interest of the idea of marriage
becauee they know it will ended up with divorcewaste of money and time
Hi, I'm 14 and yes I want to do this too... hopefully our generation can bring marriage back?
Personal opinion. Seeing how parents raise kids today and how bratty and whiny they are. Can't afford it
Because leftists in this country have made a coordinated effort to destroy the American family. It's easier to subjugate people and instill communism/socialism if the family is broken up.
Jeez, why is there always some extremist answer?
Prove him wrong @greatnessback I doubt you can. One of the manifestos of feminism is the destruction of the family..
@GreatnessBack as @worldscolide mentioned... prove me wrong. It's not extreme to want preservation of the family unit. It's kept human beings alive for 10s of thousands of years
@worldscolide It's not about it being wrong, it's about that being the FIRST answer. There are plenty of other reasons. Also, this statement in NOT universally true. I have a family, I live in a community of NOTHING but families with both parents and everything. Feminism is destroying nothing. I mean they would have to be useful to do that.
Very true they are pretty useless.
@GreatnessBack I also live in an area with families. But you can't deny the HUGE numbers of single parent households that are continually growing. 70% of black children are born to single mothers.
@bangyourhead you can thank the government incentivizing women with state assistance and title IV-D funds for that (child support). For many mothers having a few children then leaving the father is almost like winning the lottery. My best friend has to pay his ex 2k monthly for child support.. and he only earns 2500 a month..
@worldscolide True. Which also let's government step in to be the daddy... hence the communism/socialism part of my reply.
Pretty much. I'm a member of TFRM I see it daily...
1. Cost of the wedding.2. Divorce rates are too high, and men end up getting a raw deal in the process. 3. Love and trust are at an all time low. 4. People don't want to be tied down to anyone anymore.
Because at least half of all marriages fail... failed marriages, and children are expensive.
Awww... what a cutie. Maybe in the next several years you can be my wife 💘
You don't even know me 😂
Maybe one day... 😘 You gotta be a little older first.
Don't think you're gonna find me on gag lmao
Because I'm anonymous?
True that. Ok you have a point haha
LOL you're 24 man...
You are only 13. You have less responsibilities than an adult. Wait until you’re done school and college and you’ll see why.
Because more and more of us start our adult lives in debt up to our eyeballs. Marriage is a huge risk, and kids are expensive.
I see kids as something that will make my life harder or even possibly ruin it I want to enjoy myself and kids will mess that up.
That’s just people online. A small minority. Plenty of people in real life get married and have kids all the time. No worries 😌👍
Simply put, divorce is expensive, and it only really benefits women.
True divorce is expensive but I wouldn't plan on divorcing my husband unless he cheated
All in all they are expensive things and the success rates on them are stacked for failure
More people are realizing their lives can be richer pursuing other lifestyles.
There's no benefit for men to be trapped down like that.
the mainstream media tells women that’s not what they should want, they tell women that is the patriarchy and bla bla
Because it's a big responsibility and they wants to get rid of it
yea i want a family and all that stuff
because men cheat and get divorced so often
Because marriage is like a death sentence to men.
too much money.
very nice thinking :) you should grow tho:)
im sure you will be nice wife, and mother :)if you were older i would want you haha
Don't worry don't plan on getting married anytime soon lol
hahaha okay, then good:) just dont be in rush
yeah you can't rush things like that. You need to be patient
I absolutely agree with you, you are so mature for your age:)
you are welcome :) wish you could pm me tho
we would talk, i would talk to this girl who thinks maturally
you would like to talk?
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