What should I do to get her back?

I am married but not happy. I had two dinner dates with this girl who knows me and my wife. I had developed feelings for her and so does she. I went for a business trip for 3 weeks and decided that I am going to get a divorce and then pursue her. I intended to tell this girl my decision in our next dinner.

Before I can do that, she cut off all communication with me (not answering email, phones) and stated that "she wanted to be friends with me and my wife" and had been hiding from me for about 6 weeks (left 2-3 messages for her about two weeks apart since, but got no replies). I am positive that she did that because she is afraid to ruin my marriage (herself being divorced because her husband cheated on her). I am also positive that she is hiding from me because she had feelings for me and would change her mind if I can get to talk to her.

But she didn't know that my marriage is getting sour even before that. I didn't tell her all the facts like my decision to get a divorce and my already sour marriage in any of those emails and voicemails.

What should I do next? Can some women tell me why a woman would do that, is it a test of my love for her?

Should I tell her those facts (divorce, sour marriage) in a voicemail or face to face?

I can only get some face time with her by waiting downstairs of her workplace, but that seems to be pushy, rite?


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What Girls Said 1

  • I think you should end it with your wife before you pursue other ladies. Its not fair to her, regardless of how unhappy you are. It also seems like to me that this girl has lost some interest in you in that way or she is waiting for you to be completely single first. I don't blame her; she probably doesn't want to deal with the drama that is ahead from all of this.

    • I think I made myself clear that "I decided that I am going to get a divorce and then pursue her". The core of my question is since she is cutting off all communication, how can I get the message to her? She wouldn't talk to me and giving her all the facts (getting a divorce then pursue her, sour marriage) through voicemail is 1) not sincere and 2) she may delete it without listening to it. And waiting downstairs outside of her work to "corner" her is kind of pushy. What is the best way?

    • You have no idea if she has lost that interest in you though. If I were you I'd call her and tell her. I wouldn't do that in person because it could freak her out.

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