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Most studies or surveys done on the subject have been unable to find a statistical difference between the success rates of arranged vs. chosen marriages. When all is said and done, it is your personal capacity to maintain a stable marriage and family that determines whether or not your marriage fails. How you came to be in said marriage is immaterial. Being a spouse is a SKILL. It requires you to be able to provide income, acquire housing, food, transportation, education, and maintain all of those things which are constantly in need of upkeep. Interpersonal and child raising skills are also required. Most people these days don't really understand what goes into maintaining a marriage. They think it's all about happiness, when in reality it's about raising the next generation. Happiness is what you make for yourself. YOU are always in the driver's seat of your own happiness. Not your partner. That is yours to maintain. They can help, but the burden ultimately falls on you. The job of the spouse is to maintain family stability, either through homemaker skills, income, basic necessities, or some combination of the three.
I doubt there are any valid studies since the societies are so very different. Now would a study comparing marriages now and 50 or 100 because techology is so much further advanced today vs. then.
@DWornock Most studies done on arranged vs. chosen are done recently. No one bothered to care to study marriage success rates 50 or 100 years ago. And societies in which all marriages are chosen between partners have success rates that continue to plummet every year on top of less young getting marriage at all. So doubt all you like, but the writing is on the wall. Chosen marriages aren't all they're cracked up to be.
Societies with high extent of arranged marriages have significantly higher level consanguinity. From biological perspective increases too close genetic distance of a couple the chance of health risks for their progeny.In societies with marriage because of love or in other words when people chose their partner on hand of attraction is the consanguinity rather very low. Clinical test with body smell and human pheromones showed that people with very close genetic distance find the smell of each other less attractive. This is very likely one of the reasons for lower consanguinity in societies without arranged marriages.Everything in biology and psychology has a function, the function of love is in some extent healthy progeny.
Love marriage is something where you don't have to adjust with the person. Even if you have to adjust, you're already prepared for it. But your thinking about the relationship should be positive. So, according to me, Love marriage is better. As in arranged marriage you've to depend upon luck or fate.
arranged marriage practices suppress the transgressive power of love, they are not built upon informed desire. Since partners lack familiarity with each other, they cannot be expected to possess any genuine feelings for each other it can lead to a depressed life filled with voids of dissatisfaction: in Passion, satisfying sexual needs and companionship
Love, because I'd rather get to know someone first.
Arranged marriages are far better because girls and young women have no sense at all. They all chase after guys out of their league that fuck down but don't marry down until their upper 20's after they lost their bloom and have to settle for guys less desirable then guys they could have married when they were younger, prettier, and less jaded.Parents will select husbands better than who they end up with.
Arranged marriage does not imply that the young men and women do not reject some of the choices. In that case someone else would be selected. The girl might reject a half dozen young men, but she agrees with her parents choice. However, she would not be given the option of hott guys that are just going to fuck her and dump her which will happens repeately if is given the choice.
They idea of an arrangement is growing on me. I think people have too many choices nowadays that its easy to quit.
I think it's more that people with the privilege of choosing their own spouse have no clue what marriage is actually about or what it's purpose is.
@Kiran_Yagami well said! Yeah marriage is really not about love. That's only one part of a big equation
I prefer love, but I also know, that arranged marriages tend to work out better than other marriages, as long as the marriage is arranged with the good of the couple in mind.
No such thing as arrange marriage in my life. Either I pick them or I die single and alone. Yay!
Arranged marriages are done for (typically) materialistic or political purposes, not for love.
I don't know. There could be pros and cons for both. There is pros and cons for marriage period
Randomly drawn fucking, administered by a government agency and re-drawn every week?
More or less how people date anyways, so I don't see why it wouldn't work out at least as well.
I would like love marriage.But I am never going get one girl I think.
I would not like an arranged marriage. I think the two people considering marriage, should do it on their own behalf because they want to make that choice not because they feel pressured to do it.
All marriages should be done out of love and not be arranged.
Love arranged I feel like cattle being traded for goods.
Arranged if it starts since childhood tbh, it would be way more succesful.
Arranged marriages are for backwards societies.
They're just as successful as chosen marriages, and marriage success rates in societies that allow for partners to choose their own marriages are plummeting every year. So which is really backwards?
@Kiran_Yagami That's primarily because it's culturally accepted and expected that you stay in your arranged marriage no matter what ! You have no way of gauging, nor is there any data, on how many of the people in arranged marriages would choose to end them IF they could do so without being shunned or stigmatized. Even if you think of marriage as just a contractual obligation, there's no difference between slavery and an arranged marriage because there's no CHOICE involved by those getting married. The LAST thing I want is for my parents to decide who I'm supposed to spend the rest of my life with !!
By that comparison there's no difference between slavery and a chosen marriage either. Marriage is a skill. It's not a path to happiness. YOU are in charge of your own happiness, and if you enter marriage under the impression it is your spouse's job to make you happy then you're going to be sorely disappointed. Marriage has one purpose and one purpose only. Raising children in the best environment possible, and all studies on the subject unanimously agree, children raised in nuclear families have the best odds of success in all aspects of life and are virtually destined never to be in poverty. Yes, you need to be able to get along with your spouse, duh, but marriage isn't for you. It's for your children. It's success depends on your ability to be a good spouse and parent. Anything else is outside of your realm of control.
Your parents making decisions regarding your life is far better then the government making almost every decision regarding your life. There is almost nothing you can do, including driving to shop that is not under the control of the government and requires their permission, and you must get the governments approval to marry.
@Kiran_Yagami There's EVERY difference in the world. The social and cultural pressure makes it realistically impossible to leave an arranged marriage. You will be an outcast, you will be disgraced as a failure. Furthermore, your argument contains more than one logical fallacy and several presumptions. One is that just because you're in an arranged marriage, it will a) be a successful warm, as in loving and supportive first of each other and b) that children from this marriage will necessarily be successful. Neither of those is true nor supports the statement about nuclear families. "Nuclear" families have been shown to raise more successful children ONLY when the marriage provides the proper environment. You also presume that the "function" of marriage is to raise children, the implication being "why bother to marry if you're not going to have children".
@loveslongnails Maybe that's the way it should be. People should be encouraged by society to stay in their marriages. This "just dump it and get a do over" leads to broken families and children with tainted upbringings. We even have an entire industry in our society centered around divorce. That's not a good thing. And my argument contains no such fallacies because no assertion of the sort was made. The argument was that arranged marriages and chosen marriages have the same success rate. The only fallacy was your assertion that said fallacy was even made. And nuclear families are the proper environment for children, period. Not all nuclear families succeed. Well no fucking duh. But children in nuclear families are exponentially more likely to succeed than children not in nuclear families, so the choice is obvious. There isn't a study around on the subject that doesn't conclude that two parents in a stable marriage is the best way to raise children.
@DWornock What in the world are you talking about? Even in a society where marriages are arranged, they are sanctioned by the government as a legally binding act. You're listed as living in the USA. The government doesn't choose who you marry here, decide who you marry, or even "approve" of who you marry. They do put conditions on marriage, such as age, mental competency, a blood test (in case you DO have children, or is THAT a bad idea too?) and that you're not already married (at least by your own admission). Yes, you will have to purchase a license. But in NO WAY does the government "DECIDE" that you must marry, and who it must be.
@Kiran_Yagami You assert that arranged marriages are "just as successful" as choosing your own partner, yet the latter has plummeting success rates every year. The two can't be same. And yes, you do have logical fallacies in your statement, but just don't see them. I agree that marriage is taken too lightly, too often, but I disagree even more with anyone telling me whom I am to spend my lifetime living beside. There is way too much involved in this question from a cultural standpoint as well. People can accept all kinds of things because of "culture" or tradition, or because "its always been done that way". Not for me.
Point of fact, they can be the same, the success rate of arranged marriages could also be plummeting. Point of fact, they can be the same and arranged marriages could also not be plummeting, they're just the same right now while the success rate of arranged marriages is stable and the success rate of chosen marriages is plummeting. Just because you lack imagination doesn't mean the two can't both be true. Categorically, they can. You've also missed a few other important implications that both cases being true makes. Most people don't like being told what to do, but in reality we're all told what to do every day of our lives anyways. The difference is some people accept that and make the best of it and some people go ape shit and don't. Our divorce industry is blatant evidence to the fact that our society bends over backwards to try to avoid making people live with their own life choices. It should be the other way around. Choices have consequences and you should endeavor to make good choices and stick with them, not make bad choices and try to get out of it. That is something arranged marriage societies have that our society lacks.
@Kiran_Yagami Depending on the country where the survey originates and the source of the study, the data seems at BEST to be wildly across the board and unreliable at face value. That was of course after a very brief survey. So while you may denigrate my imagination, or lack thereof, I will again point out your failure to at least acknowledge that "success rates" of arranged marriages in many societies is a "false positive". Further, YOUR definition of being told what to do, and mine, are not the same. Agreeing to adhere to certain rules in order to live peacefully in a society does NOT equate to my being told HOW to live my life, which an arranged marriage would be doing. So anyway, I'll reflect on your valid points moving forward, and wish you a grand day. Au revoire.
love of course, fuck arranged
A marriage based on real love
I prefer you
A love Marriage
Love all the way
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