When a married person cheats, the "other person" is usually the one blamed the most for being involved, rather than the cheating married individual. But in all honesty, why should the "other person" be responsible for maintaining somebody else's marriage? Its true that its not the best thing to do but what does the survival of your marriage have anything to do with him or her? It really has no bearing on them. The cheating married individual should take responsibly over their own marriage rather than handling it over to someone else. Truth of the matter is: we are all only out for ourselves in this world. And this really should not come as a surprise to adults in general.
Updates:
What Girls & Guys Said
99I had an ex who I’m about 95 percent sure cheated on me a week or two before we split. We were on the outs at that point but not officially broken up. There were 3 different times I could have easily cheated on her but I didn’t. I told her that a month later and she remained quiet. I didn’t ask if she cheated but her being quiet pretty much gave it away.
The split was very sad but honest with hint of “let’s stay friendly”. Then a few weeks later she got exceptionally nasty when I had to meet her for business purposes.
My gut told me she cheated on me with a guy she met at work and then focused on all my flaws and mentally blamed it on me. She then tried her hardest to paint me up as a creep to make herself feel better for what she did.
Ladies (and gents). If you screw up, even majorly like cheating you own up to it, apologize and move on. Don’t make up excuses. We got too much of this gaslighting shit going on in our world.
I have no idea what you saw in her to begin with. She sounds like such a bad person without morals. I think you should focus more on picking the right woman rather than going after the nasty ones then complaining that she won’t own up to cheating on you
She was actually for a time the only decent girl I have ever dated long term (year). She treated me very well. But I was going through a tough time in my life and I struggled with my sex drive with her (she has a high one). But that was related to my self confidence at the time. I was 32 and dead broke but chasing a dream.
She was right to break up. But how she did it and what she very likely did before was horrible. How she acted after the relationship ended was terrifying. For the longest time I ruminated my she treated me the way she did. It was like a demon possessed her to do it. But now I think through and out the pieces together it makes sense. She cheated and to appease her guilt (combined with already being angry with me) doubled down.
On a mobile phone. Sorry for the typos.
I don't know what makes you think that cheating is appropriate or correct when you're unsatisified in a relationship. When you're unsatisfied, you voice your concerns and try to come up with a solution. If you both can't come up with anything, then break up. Cheating is only a selfish coward's way out of a relationship. And no, she wasn't the nicest girl ever. Nice ethical people do not cheat when they are unsatisfied in a relationship.
I was acting douchy and disconnected towards the end relationship. I wanted to take a break. Point being I acknowledge that I was wrong about some things. But her CHEATING in response is disgusting.
Again I never got it confirmed. But it’s how she acted later that made me think it happened. I thought we were going to have a friendly (not friends) relationship like that. That didn’t happen at all.
Yes, we were both guilty of pursuing each other.
hun, you enjoyed talking to her which was why you kept in touch with her for so long. Otherwise, you wouldn't have kept in touch for that long. She pursued you for 9 months at work because you were very receptive towards her. So yea, its not surprising that you would be labeled as the bad guy. You knew what this woman wanted out of this.
I can’t argue with your points. I was receptive and I did enjoy talking with her. It could have been a lot worse.
We actually met for lunch several times. The last time, she suggested that maybe we could see each other more frequently. I was not able to make it to this first such meeting and she was noticeably upset. Then it ended. Like I said, it could have been a lot worse. You are right, I have to accept the title of “bad guy”. Given the chance, I probably would have slept with her. Yet, it was obvious that she had a plan that she was attempting to carry out. It takes two to tango.
One thing I didn’t understand. She once said that she would never leave her husband. What was she doing with me? What was she after?
We are in No Contact now. I guess she is going to be true for now on or there is someone else. Who knows.
She really liked you but she loves her husband more. If she loved you more, she would have left him for you. Chances are that she was either bored of her marriage or there were problems within that marriage. Usually married people cheat because there is something missing within their relationships and its typically boredom. I might assume that you were talking with her for so long because you enjoyed the attention?
Yes, you are right again. I enjoyed the attention. I guess it stroked my ego that she was into me.
It's a coping mechanism.
Of course, the third party has no moral obligation to either party, and they are not in the wrong, really.
As it says in free-ebooks' "Are Men the Weaker Sex", when some men cheat, they'll tell the "other woman": "My wife doesn't understand me", "I'm getting a divorce", etc. (even if it isn't true) so the other person will fall in love with him and have sex with him.
Its poor form to mess with someone else relationship, but responsible?
No one is ever responsible for the actions of another.
Not everyone is only out for themselves in this world. That may apply to a lot of Republicans, though.
You might be surprised how many people will simply not tell the other man/woman that they are married. Quite often, the other man/woman finds out by accident. Happened to me, man... shit's wrong.
What’s the reason?
Depends on the circumstances. It's most likely a lack of communication... which typically breaks down because of either time or money. Could also be mismatched values or conflicting moral compasses.