Opinions on marriage?

im 19, and I've always said I won't get married and have kids. it would be impossible to find a woman who you can trust and start a family with. on top of that, I'm horrible with women. also, I will most likely marry out of my culture and/or religion. it does not matter to me, but I do not want the woman I will marry to teach our children about her own culture/religion. the woman I will marry will have to be as neutral as I am.

the issue with the kids, is that I would love to see how I would fare as a father (I already have many good ideas on raising children), but I'm worried my kids might grow up screwed, given the crazy world they would grow up in. if I do decide to have a family, that would mean I already have a pretty good career.

but very recently, I've been thinking a lot about creating a family as a life goal. my life up to now has been pretty boring. I've generally been a socially awkward introvert, and I always said to myself that after college I will live my life the way I've wanted to but couldn't as a teenager.

so as I said, I'm thinking of creating a family as a life goal. the first step would have to be college graduation and career, and then I will search for a woman I can make my wife, and who I can trust to have kids with.

if it doesn't work out for me, I have plenty of cousins who have had children in the past 5 years, and I could always be the cool uncle type figure. id be cool with that also, even tho I would have no say in how these children should be raised.

on a side note, I want to mention: given these thoughts and feelings I've been having, I feel as if I am betraying myself. you see, its always been clear to me that people want to have kids for whatever reason, and these people have always been oblivious to the fact that reproduction is in our genes. I feel like I am a slave to my genetics. in other words, the desire to have kids makes me feel like I'm not in control of my life. but there's nothing anyone can do about that. mother nature and evolution are crafty devils.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • To beging with, I think its really cute that you are think about these things, that's already a sign that you are well prepared for what the future holds for you :)

    The right time will come in which you will meet a nice girl but for now don't think about it too much, you are still very young, you need to live a little before you settle down because once you are in there's no way out. Let things happen, don't search for them just let it work on it's own. The day you meet this girl, the day she tells you you are gonna be a father, that day will be magical, if it had been all planned out it wouldn't mean much.

    Remember that best things in life happen when you least expect them.

    Good luck to you my friend, I know you will reach that goal and you will make an excellent father/husband to your beautiful family :)


What Guys Said 1

  • You don't need to create a family. Wouldn't you rather have a partner with whom you can explore the world? Kids put the keebosh on such things, have them after you've had your fun.

    • well, if I were to get married, we could wait to have kids. I could do all that traveling before having children. even before I get married, I can do that with a friend, or a girlfriend if I get one.