Is he sincere or is it BS?

We have been spending time together since mid January. I told him in late February that I wasn't looking to be in a serious relationship. He said he wasn't either but who says we can't continue the fun. So a few days later he invites me to his cousin's wedding. We went to the wedding had a great time! He spent the night and there was no sex. We cuddled and made out. Next day we talked and kissed more all morning. Met up later that week for St Patty's day. Kissed goodnight again. Texted all day the next day then met up again Saturday. We started kissing and hesitated again but ended up having sex. Two days later he invites me to his friends engagement party. We met for sushi later that week and had a great time with great conversation. Next week went to his sporting event where I hung out with his dad then he introduced me to all his friends. One guy was like so nice to meet you I've heard so much about you. When telling others we'd meet him later he said well we have a party to go to first. So went to the couples shower. His friends were all about asking both of us how we met and how long we've been seeing each other. He told them well we've been dating for a few months as he put his arm around me. We met up with more friends later and they raved how sweet I was. He spent the night again. We talked for a long time in the morning about all kinds of things. He kissed me more and said he had a great time and thanks for going with me. He said he wanted me to get a taste of some more of his friends. I thought nice he wanted me to meet people who are important to him. At the same time I was thinking huh neither of us want a relationship. I was just relaxing, having fun and going with the flow. So a week later we meet again to watch his sporting event. The next day he calls and says hey you wanna grab some dinner. So we grab dinner and watch the baseball game. He seemed like he didn't want to leave my place. He suggested watching a movie. Then after he left he sent a message saying I want to make sure if we go further we're on the same page. So he came to my place after work the next day. We talked face to face again about how he doesn't want a relationship and he only wants friendship from anyone he meets right now. I said well I don't want a relationship either but I was just enjoying the fun. He said well the way things have been going it looks like we should be in a relationship. I wanted to say well you're the one inviting me to all these things and introducing me to all your friends. I explained to him why I didn't want anything. Then he proceeded to tell me about his mom passing away and how he's been in bad times before. He said he thinks his dad has a drinking problem, he wants to move out on his own and he isn't happy with his job. We both opened up about a lot. He said I want you to know if you need anything at all please call me. He said you're beautiful, awesome, I'm attracted to you. Told me he does care about me. BS or sincere?

He said he wants to meet up for coffee or dinner or to do anything but he just needed to draw back a bit. Got a text this weekend that said Hey! Messy but big win today. Hope you're doing well and have a good wknd too!

He seems like he does have a lot of issues he's dealing with. I was just enjoying our great company and fun times. Either way I know it has nothing to do with me and that the only thing I can do is just step back and let him have draw back. I'm just gonna focus on me for now.
I also noticed he'd come on strong then back off. Come on strong then back off again and this is him backing off a bit more this time. My only plan is to focus on me, walk away from it all and if it's meant to be it's meant to be if not I deserve better than this yo yo stuff. Just curious what others think! :-)

He said maybe it's a timing thing and he doesn't want to drag anyone into his issues. I even cried in front of him and he comforted me and said please talk if you feel comfortable.


Most Helpful Girl

  • If you're focusing on you why do you keep dragging yourself back to him?

    • Who knows. Lol since this is the second time he's done this now I've just walked away. I haven't contacted him and I am lining up all my stuff for school. Yeah doesn't make sense why I kept going back. At least it only took the second time to finally walk. I'm still just curious what others thought that's all.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Good focus on you

  • He's sincere but he wants to get his life together before he makes it anything offical.

    • Yeah that's kinda my deal. I wanna get my life in order before I start anything with someone. I told him I'm not in the best emotional place and I want to get school started again. He said he didn't want to start something with anyone cause he doesn't think he can give a lot of his attention with his emotions either.

  • Neither of you claim you want a "relationship", but you are engaging in each other the way couples do. Glad you walked away from this mess.