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Would You Get Engaged To Someone You've Never Met "In Person"(IRL not Video)?
Brainsbeforebeauty
Guru
- Of course I wouldn't. That's nuts.
Only a desperate person would do this.
Years ago, American society went through a trend about couples living together before marriage. At one time that was strictly taboo as it still is in many foreign cultures. But now it is considered the norm. Couples who DON'T live together before marriage are the exception today.
While that change was working itself out, one of the arguments FOR living together was that you can't really know someone until you have lived with them. Lots and lots of couples found out after living together, sometimes for a very short time, that a long term commitment to marriage was not the right decision.
If couples who knew each other IRL couldn't even find out if they were truly in love and compatible until living together, what are the chances you can know whether or not you love and are compatible with someone you never even met in person? It's ridiculous.
Internet love is a fantasy, not a real thing. You fill in the missing blanks that you can never know about until you are with someone in person with fantasy to give you the illusion of love, not real love.1|00|0Is this still revelant?Ok think this mho answer here!!! EVERYTHING you said... YEEESSS... Thank you!!! Couldn't if said it better myself! 💜👍👍🙂
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- I don't see how I could... I have met people online initially and then in person and it's been all good - but not to get engaged - and even if I did have a thought to get engaged with someone, it would have to be after at least seeing them in person.
That all said, I knew within a few hours after first meeting my wife that we'd get married (I even wrote it down as proof - yes, first time I ever did that before lol) - but that was in real life :)
Furthermore, to the whole bachelor / bachelorette show stuff, I don't see how I could get engaged that way either...
1|10|0Is this still revelant?lol... if I ever for what ever whacko reason found myself on that type of show, I would purposely try set the record for quickest to get eliminated / kicked off :)
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Wow you so photogenic you almost look like a totally different man in each one 😂😂😂 how sad is it tho that the bathtub looks more inviting right now.. My shoulder hurts today 😔
Yes my physique looks different based on the lighting :)
Sorry to hear about the shoulder. Tub would be good - but maybe Double D Dude does massages too :)
Most Helpful Girls
- No. To me, it's impossible to really get to know someone without meeting them in person, especially to the point of wanting to spend the rest of my life with them. There's just something about meeting in person that can't be replaced. I can't exactly put my finger on what it is, but I have never felt as connected to someone through a screen, or even over the phone.1|00|0Is this still revelant?
You put more than a finger on it! You said it just right and couldn't agree more 💯💯
- Yeah and I would marry him on video call... Preferably we would say our vows when riding separate rollercoasters simultaneously with head cams on. 😍So romantic!!!1|00|0Is this still revelant?
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What's Your Opinion? Sign Up Now!What Girls & Guys Said
1474- I've only had a couple dozen concussions in my lifetime. Not quite enough yet too take the leap of faith on what bankers would call "A BAD RISKS" or even higher risk investment. Maybe if my parachute had failed a couple times during Airborne training and I was too dense too die but just dense enough for something like that too seem like a plan.1|00|0
Even arranged marriages more often than not, involved the youn newlyweds too become acquainted, if they hadn't already grown up together in the same village. I'd be pretty apprehensive commiting body and soul too a complete stranger.
- There would have to be some strong proofs and connection. To just pour out to someone without knowing their existence... It takes commitment... I'd say video and phone would be required for me. And maybe a proof of trust like money wired at the same time. You both send a thousand dollars to each other for example. Proving that you are real and trustworthy... Something like that. Because making a life commitment like that is huge. And proof and trustworthiness is vital1|00|0
I would never send money to someone I never met in real life. And phone and video? You really think that's enough to really know someone? I personally don't feel that way. I need to know them in real life, I need that real interaction... Just videoing someone you can't really gauge how'd it'd actually be abridged living with someone.
The question is can long distance relationships be started or work... can someone meet another person and decide to go further with them later. Like someone that starts dating on zoom from chicago, someone that is from New York.
I am not sure how far you could go but I think you might be able to feel out if it's worth a place trip to see each other or simply be friends on zoom. Of which the 1,000 dollars was merely an idea but a plane ticket makes a lot more sense. That way you can see them and prove their real and figure out if the chemistry still works in personNo the question was would you get engaged to someone without ever even meeting them IRL
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I think meeting first is a must. You can get very close to marriage with meetings on zoom. But there needs to be meeting in person. Even if it's a week of vacation to see how you feel with them
I'm sorry I disagree, a week on vacation is not enough to know someone well enough to decide to get married, well not for me anyway 🤷🏼♀️
- Hell no you don't know what a person is like in real life as soon as the camera goes off they can be a loving, kind, compassionate, thoughtful, considerate person on video... But a total jerk, dick wad, bitch ass, punk, mother fucking, piece of shit in person.1|00|0
However... That said, it would probably be my only chance of ever finding someone, so I probably shouldn't be saying that... lol
- Not engagement but all my previous relationships till today started that way. It's scaringly easy to play someone or be played by someone that way. I have experience of both sides of that behaviour. Young dumb and ignorance is one answer why it happened. I would never do something like that again though. Uhm the best way to meet someone and help a friend at the same timd is to wingman for eachother that type of introduction seems to work still.2|00|0
I still need to be able to spend real physical time with that person, before I'll even date much less get engaged
I totally understand that. The only positive part of meeting someone online is the built up excitement till you meet irl.
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It surely can be that too. The only logic thing to say about this kind of behaviour is: Don't ever rush or force anything into what might turn become the next relationship because in 99.999% of the times it will blowback in a bad way in the long run.
I am only telling this from my own perspective.
- Never. I moved around 1400 miles away to meet and live with in person on August 18th 2012. We Skyped (Video) every night for about 3 months before. We met and was together for almost 2 and a half years. Anyway, no proposal as we agreed long before I moved. No marriage!1|00|0
- Never. The physical connection and vibe is paramount among others. You could get cat-fished. And learning from my recent experience on Tinder, SO many girls are using filters, it's false advertising and it pisses me off!1|00|0
All good points! And people can't even stay faithful committed when they in a relationship where they are getting sex... They really gonna stay faithful to someone in another state or country... Yeah not buying it
- Hell no, thats is what Dean Martin would say. THAT'S AMOREhttps://www.youtube.com/embed/8_cOP8y6sWs1|00|0
- I tihnk I wuold gte enggaed ot smoeone I nveer mte howveer fi ew wree to gte marired I wolud hvae hre sgin a pernup.1|00|0
Omg really 😂😂😂 Think you on wrong post lolol you putting strain on an old lady's eyes 😂😂
Seriously tho, you would? Prenup only protects your pocket from taking a hit, not your heartG@G tkoo ym psot dwon wehn I worte lkie tihs os I’m giong ot wrtie lkie tihs lla dya. I eevn lsot 7 pionts beacuse teh reomved ym qusetion.
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Under their Mickey Mouse rules if you have grammer errors in a question it will be removed & if a question is removed you loose 7 points.
- No it would never happen. I get a real laugh out of these people that say they are dating. Never met in real life just over the internet. No way that would be considered dating in my world.1|10|0
RIGHT!!! Don't know if it's our age, we just both very smart, or just similar... But we generally think asking the same lines, cuz everything you just said about that dating, we a couple but it's online only, just baffles the shit out of me, but now to call it engaged like WTF🤷🏼♀️🤣🤣
I am sure it must be an age thing. Then again I was brought up by a strict Baptist mother who went to a Catholic boarding school.
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My Mother was Lutheran, My father was Strict Catholic with Democrat politicians in his family... Your turn 🤣🤣🤣
- Lmao i almost did twice or thrice 🤣 🤦♀️ 2017-19 was some crazy years1|10|0
I don't think that would be a good idea... These online only dating relationships rarely work out, but engaged or to actually marry, yeah sorry but bad idea in my opinion
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Lmao no but i needed a break 🤣 I've had like 5 dudes this year. I eventually lost attraction to the first, but he's still holding on. As for the second, i lost attraction to him once i found out my old crush liked me too. Then for the third, we had similar goals but he made up some excuse that he wasn't over his ex. In reality, i think our goals started to clash. Then the fourth guy, he was gorgeous af but his voice started to annoy me. Plus he seemed like a compulsive liar cause stuff wasn't adding up after a while. Then the fifth guy wanted me to act like a girlfriend but didn't want to make me a girlfriend yet. Plus he was a mommas boy and then he started actin like caitlyn jenner and i started questioning his sexuality. The guy after that had past abuse accusations so i dodged him. And then the guy after that was super clingy before day 3 and it scared me away. So yea i just been takin a break this month 🤣
I can't help that i move on quickly 😂🙈 like it doesn't mean i wasn't into the guy before. Just means that he was a waste and i may as well move forward
- No sane person should ever do that. An engagement should, and must entail a long time of previous IRL contact and time together.1|00|0
- Good heavens, no absolutely not, that's just too ridiculous for words.1|00|0
- I think that we would have to have had some physical time together for me to be able to make a decision to make this decision.1|00|0
- No I would NOT. Until you meet in person, it is just in the realm of fantasy.1|00|0
I used to know one guy who video chatted with a woman clear across the country for a couple of hours every day. They decided to move in together, so he loaded up all his stuff and drove across the country and moved in with her. I guess they thought they had a "real relationship". It didn't last all that long. Yeah to me it is just fantasy until you get to know the person face to face.
- Almost Did in May. I was going to purpose to my ex who i ever really spoke to on here but then she ghosted me.1|00|0
Sorry, but maybe. that's for the best... If you only interacted on here, how do you even know they were who they said they were... I saw pink ANON user bragging hope group of em catfish people and joke about it in group chat...
That's my whole point tho why would you get engaged to someone when you don't really even know the person?
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- No is the quick answer... the long answer is " How much milk and alcohol have they sent me through the post before they demand an answer?" lol1|00|0
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We are, just have to check in every now and then to make sure I've not misinterpreted an answer lol,
- No. I want to be with someone at least one year irl before I get down on one knee.1|00|0
- I would fall in love, but not that stupid have to meet irl tp see how things work on ground Zero then take any steps1|00|0
I mean i do spend time understanding the person online I have a good intuition knowing to select people that are quite possessing a unique personality who are quite truthful and direct
- That's not a good idea... You should meet them irl first... Better would be to live with them for a little while, see what they're like when they're home. You gotta see all sides of them after all.1|00|0
- Hell nah!!! I wldnt even chose to start dating someone i haven't met irl.1|00|0
- Wow I've been talking about doing. I believe it would be quite interesting and I guess it could be nerve wracking I would be willing to try it1|00|0
- That must be one of the definitions of insanity !! I would NEVER get engaged under any circumstances... absolute never to video only craziness !!1|00|0
- no I don't think that would be a good idea unless of course it was a shotgu n wedding where you go along with the program or be able to out run shotgun pellets1|00|0
After much thought on the subject of shotgun wedding maybe it would be best to run in a xig zag motion or just duck if he is "assuming its a man at the trigger"shooting from the hip he most likely isn't trying to kill you yet
- Nope it's hard enough to pick a good marriage even when you know them.1|00|0
- No. You need to see how people handle themselves in REAL-LIFE situations, not cyber-scenarios. :- )1|10|0
Right exactly. I don't even see how people date that way, but engaged? I don't get it 🤷🏼♀️
My bro-in-law cyber-dated for about 6 months from the midwest to S. CArolina. But, he took 3 or 4 week-long trips out there to visit her before they got engaged. I even thought THAT was somewhat soon, but, he's happy, especially since his first marriage was to a borderline, bi-polar freak that is now wrecking the life of her fourth victim, er, I mean, husband.
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Yes. He moved down to S. Carolina and they got married down there. She sold off a huge house and downsized into a new house, in a new subdivision, with a new hubby.
Aww that's good, glad to hear it! But at least they actually met first... That's not always the case...
- Only to you, Brains...(just kidding!). No way would I do such a thing...1|00|0
- I don't think so, we have to meet or at least see each other live on cam because this is an engagement and not a friendship...1|00|0
You would do an engagement just knowing someone by cam only? Not being judgmental, just don't personally understand 🤷🏼♀️🤷🏼♀️
Nope not on cam, i said that before being engaged, it's okay of we got to know each other on cam than getting engaged in reality 😊
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No way, dates are going to be real, i have to check if the forehead is real and also i have to taste the muffins, if everything goes well, i'll kidnapp her and run away ☻
- I don't know if I could develop strong enough feelings for someone I haven't met in person.1|00|0
- No, I believe in real life engagement is what I prefer1|00|0
EXACTLY! Thank you friend 👍💜🙂
@Brainsbeforebeauty You are welcome, I can't see these people like my Cousin corresponds with this guy who's in the UK and he even was in jail in Spain than when he was done doing time he's back in what I believe is Walsh UK yes long distance doesn't work too good for us?
No it really didn't on my opinion but I've never personally done that but the ones I know that do or the things I read on here yeah no
- Absolutely not. I would need to live with them for a while before i could consider engagement.1|00|0
even then you never really know someone until you live with them. I am talking about personal habits inside the home.
- Not suddenly , of course not , maybe getting to know each other to know whether it is gonna workout or not1|00|0
How do you really get to know someone with no real in person interaction, hour do you know the connection will be there off screen and in real life?
But how does that work when sometimes people are in different states or even countries
- no, you can't really get to know someone until you notice real things about them. like they snore, or eat cereal weird, things like that1|00|0
🤣🤣🤣 why, you eat cereal weird 🤔 lololol
Seriously, I know what you're saying and I agree 💯i don't, a friend of mine does. she puts the milk in first then adds a small amount of cereal, eats it, then more cereal until the milk is gone
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- I might get engaged but never married to anyone i hadn't lived with first2|00|0
I wouldn't even date someone I can't physically interest with much less get engaged, but that's just me
- No well unless you're talking about us then there could be a consideration (love baby)1|00|0
- no that's insane, its ok to meet online but you have to really date1|00|0
- Solid advice. 1st marriage is for money, 2nd marriage is for love.0|01|0
- No, don’t think you can have a true relationship unless it’s physical.1|00|0
- Maybe as girlfriend since I'm not for marriage. But only if we then meet in real1|00|0
Shouldn't you meet in real before deciding you want sometime as a girlfriend?
Well I actually met someone once nice online multiple times and you get to know them truly more when meeting in real you're right. But sometimes I felt like its a soulmate and had a lot in common and we would match. (I could also be wrong).
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Anonymous1 modid that with the woman i love for over 3 years now2|00|0- Already done. She ended up cheating on me so I got rid of her1|00|0
Not that can't happen in real life, but think it's more prevalent with ld only relationships, video sex verses real sex 🤷🏼♀️ people can't even stay faithful these days even getting real sex, much less not at all
- Yes, of course i would, and we will leave happily ever after using Zoom and facetime.1|00|0
Any time people settle for video relationships and video sex over the real deal is not a change for the better
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- Two of my friends did1|10|0
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For how long were they talking to each other? And were they live in same county while they were talking?
- No I'd wanna meet first :)1|00|0
- I wish I could have an arranged marriage1|00|0
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Why you sorry? I was asking why you would want AV arranged marriage and then explaining my exclamation point typo lol
- How you don't even know what would happen if you tried 2portals for it to even happen1|00|0
- No. I wouldn’t in general.1|10|0
- Nope. I would need to meet at least once1|10|0
Just once? To me personally takes more than one real meet for me to even get in a relationship with someone much less engaged
Well, I have met my best friend once. And we are super close. So while I can say that meeting multiple times is what I would aim for, I know that meeting only once is at least possible
Being internet friends and living together as man and wife are not the same tho.. My daughter moved in with two friends she knew for years and went to school with for years, but living together was totally different and they're not so much friends now
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Yeah, that's a good point. And that's probably why spending a lot of time with each other before hand is so helpful
I just personally don't feel that level of knowing someone can come strictly from cam Relationship only 🤷🏼♀️
Yeah, I hear you. And I don't know if it's truly possible, especially in this day and age when people are so selective about what they want in life. But I do think with the right people and the right conditions it is possible. Tough, but possible
Okay... I just hear and see so much that shows more of those relationships don't Last then those that do
Yeah, I can't argue with you there. And I know that if I got to choose, for me personally I would want to be together physically for months before engagement
- Have you lost your effin mind? LOL1|00|0
- Nope I don't believe in this buushit.1|00|0
- No. I won't marry someone I've never had sex with1|00|0
- That sounds a little to risky for my tastes1|10|0
- Yes, we Would just be smashing together.1|00|0
- Hell no, this is insanity.1|00|0
- I am sure that will happen1|00|0
- No because I'm not a Muslim lol1|00|0
What does Muslim got to do with it.. Send lots of people are doing that these days, these online only relationships where they say they a couple, bite they getting engaged without actually even meeting ever in person... I don't get it 🤷🏼♀️
- I don't think I would.1|00|0
Right! I know I wouldn't... I won't even do online dating much less get engaged
- Depends on how long weve talked to each other1|00|0
Yeah see, me I couldn't get engaged to someone where it was just talking and no real in person connection
- Nooo way1|20|0
You and me both, How can you promise yourself to someone you don't even know or know if the connection is real?
Exactly, they could seem perfect online because it leaves them with many opportunities to lie about certain things
But then they could be completely different in person, not something I would want to risk
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