What do you think of my grandma's marital advice?

Question

I was hanging out with grandma (she was 93 at the time) the week before my wedding and she goes, "The best thing you can do for your marriage is to never gain weight."

I cracked up. Thanks, grandma. Pro tip for wifehood: don't get fat.

I mean... she and my grandpa were married for 62 years so... if it worked for them...

I just thought, if all the advice in the world she could give... don't get fat? 😂😂😂

Grandma be spitting straight facts

Lol silly grandma

Select age and gender to cast your vote:

GirlGuy

Answer 1

Finchie40 | 75 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic.

Guru

I don’t agree , it sounds to me she was only joking around , because love comes from the heart not the size of your waistline , Now if someone completely changed and put on a massive amount of weight after you married them and they don’t even look the same anymore then yes that could raise some questions of concern and be a turn off on why they let themselves go so much but if you actually loved them you would help them and support them for health reasons , if they didn’t give a flying fuck then that means they don’t value you like you value them which would lead to divorce and affairs

Finchie40

1 mo
A couple that loves each other will get chubby together or stay active together , when a partner starts doing their own thing that’s when it can get bad , not all the time but most the time , I knew a couple that the wife was chubby and the husband was thin , She decided to start exercising and dropping her weight , the second she did and she felt good about herself , is when she cheated on her husband and divorced him she was an attention whore , so usually when a partner starts changing the way they use to be is a red flag in a relationship, it could mean they are looking elsewhere

Answer 2

Finchie40

A couple that loves each other will get chubby together or stay active together , when a partner starts doing their own thing that’s when it can get bad , not all the time but most the time , I knew a couple that the wife was chubby and the husband was thin , She decided to start exercising and dropping her weight , the second she did and she felt good about herself , is when she cheated on her husband and divorced him she was an attention whore , so usually when a partner starts changing the way they use to be is a red flag in a relationship, it could mean they are looking elsewhere

Answer 3

Kurαȷ

Guru

Weight gain is one of the easiest ways a person can change for the worse.
The personality and overall looks aren't as susceptible to change.
So it makes sense, from a pragmatic perspective.

If they like you for your personality and overall looks, they shouldn't have any reasons to change their mind.
It's change that ruins relationships, becoming someone your partner is no longer attracted to.

Answer 4

btbc92 | 445 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic.

Master

I'm sorry but she is wrong. She is married that long not because she didn't get fat. She stayed married because she desired to stay with him. She came from tye old ways where physidal and sexual desire from a man's perspective matters. If a womam didn't make him wang sex she won't be somebody he would wang to commit to. Remember thay divorce was widely frowned upon as it should be. These days men will walk for anything as women would do.

btbc92

1 mo
Because here is what you have to understand. If a man refuses to touch you then you're practically considered screwed.
btbc92

1 mo
Your grandmother is right to her opinion in this is no disrespect to her. But those are not facts because not every man is the same. If she don't want to get fat that should be key for her. But if a man don't want her because she's whatever, then you should personally ask her. Would she have wanted to be loved for her body or for who she is? Because most of these women are basically have been shamed because of their bodies. You have to remember something. While men are indeed visual. As I said before, a woman that was not touched by a man would be considered a useless woman. Even more useless if she's not able to Bear children. I don't know what your culture history religion background or anything is. But if she's able to stay that long then you should ask her how when they retreated back then. It's best for you to get the full picture before you seem to be taking anything as fact. Because while they did have long-lasting marriages not everybody was happy in them. My grandmother is almost a hundred and she's been married before. I think I would know. After her second she said she wasn't going to get married again.
btbc92

1 mo
Just make sure that you and this person married for the right reasons before you end up miserable in it. People say never get fat but here's the problem. Genes can God forbid do what they do and the next thing you know you're fat and you can't shut off the weight. That's just reality. Should he stop loving you because you gain weight? You think so too? Well then I'll tell you what. In my opinion if you rather hate yourself just to please a man that's your choice. I know for a fact whether I become fat or stay slim if a man cannot appreciate me for me, he ain't worthy of me.

So here's the thing about Union. It's easy to get together. But it's hard to stay together. Her marriage took work and effort. Her being slim has nothing to do with it. He said it sounds like to me unless you just naturally loves herself, she probably just singing other woman just to feel better about myself and that's not right. It's all about image for some people. There are plenty of men that are happy with their wives regardless of if your slim or big. You have to think about mindset. Because back in a day if not now, a lot of people were extremely shallow.
Show All Show Less
Prettygurl12

1 mo
I've been married for 2 years lol
btbc92

1 mo
It doesn't matter. Your marriage isn't your grandmother's. The real test is keeping it until death due you two apart.
btbc92

1 mo
2 years is basically nothing. Make it past 10. Then we can talk. You about to finally be the very first stage of marriage. Right now your marriage is still a bit fresh. It's not the good times you got to be concerned about. It's when it starts getting a little rough. Which is usually by year 3 depending. My warning to you is don't get too cocky. You will have your bliss but you also have your hells. Anybody can have blessed. But not everybody can get past all the hell.
btbc92

1 mo
Every marriage just like every person is not the same. I never dated, I've been married once. Why do you think I wouldn't want to get married? Because I understand how serious marriage is. And one thing I know for sure. Without me having to experience it. Marriage can either make you or break you. That's why some Thrive and others do not.
btbc92

1 mo
Never been married once*
Prettygurl12

1 mo
Look. The question was intended to be humorous. My husband and I have been married for two years, yes, but we've been together for 9 and known each other for 13. I knew what I was getting into with him. Obviously appearance is only skin deep.
btbc92

1 mo
It may appear humorous but I'm being serious when I'm telling you be very careful with what you're saying. Because your grandmother's message was not about not getting fat. The meaning behind her message is simply this in layman's terms: Don't do anything to screw it up.

He may have been together for 9. But being together in a civil union for 9 years is not the same as being married. It is way way different.
btbc92

1 mo
So technically no offense to you know you don't. You're on a whole new different level now. Before that is technically Child's Play. Now the real meat begins.
Prettygurl12

1 mo
You said yourself you've never dated or be married so it sounds too me like you don't know either so...
btbc92

1 mo
Because when you are married you are held to a higher standard compared to when you were single.

Is a reason why they called me an old soul. Because everything I'm telling you was exactly the very same things of my friend who's been married much longer than you who have families of Their Own agree with me. And they've been married some as young as 16, 17, but most of them 18 through 24. I'm not dating in married because there's not anybody around that's going to take anything serious. Don't let my lack of experience fool you. Because you never know. I may have been married in another life. Who's to say that thing knowledge still didn't come to this one. Nash is not a joke I'm warning you now. You can take it like it's a game now. That's your life that's your choice. But whatever happens you're the one that has to live with it. Not me.
Prettygurl12

1 mo
I absolutely do not take marriage as a joke. We never took each other or our relationship as anything less than serious. You're asigning all these characteristics to me and my marriage based on things you hear from your friends and assumptions you've made because I posted a light-hearted question. My husband and I have always been intentional with our relationship. We've always known and agreed to dating with the intent to find a spouse. While I appreciate your response, I feel it's necessary for you to understand that my husband and I genuinely knew what we were getting into arguably better than most people do when they get married.
btbc92

1 mo
And another reason why I wouldn't want to date and get married is because people with your mentality, basically men because I ain't attracted to women, are very dangerous. Because your figure you're young, I can do whatever I want mentality. Then when it gets a little tougher then you're going to be complaining and wishing that you had something different. Again. You got to meet the man that you may not want to do, but that's your duty as a wife. As long as you fully understand what your duty is and it's not for me to judge. I'm just letting you know just don't play games with it before life will play games with you. It's a moment for you to cherish. It's not for you to take advantage of. But as I said before. It's your life. Your choice. I am not the one that has to live your life. Marriage is supposed to change you into a better person. And he as your husband as your partner, because remember you are now a team, are supposed to grow and mature along with the changes side by side with you. You're going to have your first reading days, and then you going to have your great day. One day you may grow to hate him. The next day you may love him. But do all those ups and downs as long as you understand that you are commanded to love each other, and you have that willingness and desire then you may be mine. But only you and him can guarantee that. Marriage cannot guarantee that for you. It's what you choose to make of it. But understand there are also rules to follow. Just like Nature has it's laws, so do marriage.

And one thing I refuse to do is to be involved with a man who refuses to understand that. Because get married to just anybody and they will make your life a living hell. That's how serious marriage is. I know for a fact not to take it like it's a joke. Marriage it's meant to be enjoyable. But it requires work. That's all I'm saying to you.
Elsa143

1 mo
Only the majority of bloody asshole guys voted yes because they view women as a sex object. F**k them and they deserve to die single. I am slim but also afraid because I won't be able to know that why the f**k a guy wants to marry me. Eventually I'll find out but I hate these men seriously.

Answer 5

btbc92

Because here is what you have to understand. If a man refuses to touch you then you're practically considered screwed.

Answer 6

btbc92

Your grandmother is right to her opinion in this is no disrespect to her. But those are not facts because not every man is the same. If she don't want to get fat that should be key for her. But if a man don't want her because she's whatever, then you should personally ask her. Would she have wanted to be loved for her body or for who she is? Because most of these women are basically have been shamed because of their bodies. You have to remember something. While men are indeed visual. As I said before, a woman that was not touched by a man would be considered a useless woman. Even more useless if she's not able to Bear children. I don't know what your culture history religion background or anything is. But if she's able to stay that long then you should ask her how when they retreated back then. It's best for you to get the full picture before you seem to be taking anything as fact. Because while they did have long-lasting marriages not everybody was happy in them. My grandmother is almost a hundred and she's been married before. I think I would know. After her second she said she wasn't going to get married again.

Answer 7

btbc92

Just make sure that you and this person married for the right reasons before you end up miserable in it. People say never get fat but here's the problem. Genes can God forbid do what they do and the next thing you know you're fat and you can't shut off the weight. That's just reality. Should he stop loving you because you gain weight? You think so too? Well then I'll tell you what. In my opinion if you rather hate yourself just to please a man that's your choice. I know for a fact whether I become fat or stay slim if a man cannot appreciate me for me, he ain't worthy of me.

So here's the thing about Union. It's easy to get together. But it's hard to stay together. Her marriage took work and effort. Her being slim has nothing to do with it. He said it sounds like to me unless you just naturally loves herself, she probably just singing other woman just to feel better about myself and that's not right. It's all about image for some people. There are plenty of men that are happy with their wives regardless of if your slim or big. You have to think about mindset. Because back in a day if not now, a lot of people were extremely shallow.

Answer 8

Prettygurl12

I've been married for 2 years lol

Answer 9

btbc92

It doesn't matter. Your marriage isn't your grandmother's. The real test is keeping it until death due you two apart.

Answer 10

btbc92

2 years is basically nothing. Make it past 10. Then we can talk. You about to finally be the very first stage of marriage. Right now your marriage is still a bit fresh. It's not the good times you got to be concerned about. It's when it starts getting a little rough. Which is usually by year 3 depending. My warning to you is don't get too cocky. You will have your bliss but you also have your hells. Anybody can have blessed. But not everybody can get past all the hell.

Answer 11

btbc92

Every marriage just like every person is not the same. I never dated, I've been married once. Why do you think I wouldn't want to get married? Because I understand how serious marriage is. And one thing I know for sure. Without me having to experience it. Marriage can either make you or break you. That's why some Thrive and others do not.

Answer 12

btbc92

Never been married once*

Answer 13

Prettygurl12

Look. The question was intended to be humorous. My husband and I have been married for two years, yes, but we've been together for 9 and known each other for 13. I knew what I was getting into with him. Obviously appearance is only skin deep.

Answer 14

btbc92

It may appear humorous but I'm being serious when I'm telling you be very careful with what you're saying. Because your grandmother's message was not about not getting fat. The meaning behind her message is simply this in layman's terms: Don't do anything to screw it up.

He may have been together for 9. But being together in a civil union for 9 years is not the same as being married. It is way way different.

Answer 15

btbc92

So technically no offense to you know you don't. You're on a whole new different level now. Before that is technically Child's Play. Now the real meat begins.

Answer 16

Prettygurl12

You said yourself you've never dated or be married so it sounds too me like you don't know either so...

Answer 17

btbc92

Because when you are married you are held to a higher standard compared to when you were single.

Is a reason why they called me an old soul. Because everything I'm telling you was exactly the very same things of my friend who's been married much longer than you who have families of Their Own agree with me. And they've been married some as young as 16, 17, but most of them 18 through 24. I'm not dating in married because there's not anybody around that's going to take anything serious. Don't let my lack of experience fool you. Because you never know. I may have been married in another life. Who's to say that thing knowledge still didn't come to this one. Nash is not a joke I'm warning you now. You can take it like it's a game now. That's your life that's your choice. But whatever happens you're the one that has to live with it. Not me.

Answer 18

Prettygurl12

I absolutely do not take marriage as a joke. We never took each other or our relationship as anything less than serious. You're asigning all these characteristics to me and my marriage based on things you hear from your friends and assumptions you've made because I posted a light-hearted question. My husband and I have always been intentional with our relationship. We've always known and agreed to dating with the intent to find a spouse. While I appreciate your response, I feel it's necessary for you to understand that my husband and I genuinely knew what we were getting into arguably better than most people do when they get married.

Answer 19

btbc92

And another reason why I wouldn't want to date and get married is because people with your mentality, basically men because I ain't attracted to women, are very dangerous. Because your figure you're young, I can do whatever I want mentality. Then when it gets a little tougher then you're going to be complaining and wishing that you had something different. Again. You got to meet the man that you may not want to do, but that's your duty as a wife. As long as you fully understand what your duty is and it's not for me to judge. I'm just letting you know just don't play games with it before life will play games with you. It's a moment for you to cherish. It's not for you to take advantage of. But as I said before. It's your life. Your choice. I am not the one that has to live your life. Marriage is supposed to change you into a better person. And he as your husband as your partner, because remember you are now a team, are supposed to grow and mature along with the changes side by side with you. You're going to have your first reading days, and then you going to have your great day. One day you may grow to hate him. The next day you may love him. But do all those ups and downs as long as you understand that you are commanded to love each other, and you have that willingness and desire then you may be mine. But only you and him can guarantee that. Marriage cannot guarantee that for you. It's what you choose to make of it. But understand there are also rules to follow. Just like Nature has it's laws, so do marriage.

And one thing I refuse to do is to be involved with a man who refuses to understand that. Because get married to just anybody and they will make your life a living hell. That's how serious marriage is. I know for a fact not to take it like it's a joke. Marriage it's meant to be enjoyable. But it requires work. That's all I'm saying to you.

Answer 20

Elsa143

Only the majority of bloody asshole guys voted yes because they view women as a sex object. F**k them and they deserve to die single. I am slim but also afraid because I won't be able to know that why the f**k a guy wants to marry me. Eventually I'll find out but I hate these men seriously.

Answer 21

Elsa143

Explorer

No it doesn't matter. If our own partner judges you then why the hell do we need them?
It's not a reality TV show or some beauty contest. He's nobody to judge his own wife based on appearance. These kind of men are always miserable because nothing makes them happy. Also they're 100% cheaters.

Answer 22

Djaay

Explorer

I believe she's comparing long ago with today as only her perspective will allow her to futher something as a advice for you using a comparison instead of sheer truth or fact. Your grandmother stayed married for many different reasons including adding alittle wieght by having children. The ultimate marital advice is to be a (exelent forgiver) ...

Answer 23

Clarke498 | 66 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic.

Yoda

I think it hints to the concept of being self aware. If you stop trying to stay in shape, there's no reason why the other partner should try. Then quickly both are unattracted to eachother, the sex dies, and slowly the physical side of the relationship fades.

Answer 24

The_Inquisitor

Xper 5

Gaining weight can definitely have a negative effect on a relationship, sometimes it feels like you stopped caring about your health and body. I don't think it justifies leaving but it definitely justifies concern from the other for your well being.

Answer 25

R3DthatDude

Explorer

Your grandma is right, after people get married everyone is like I won, now I can let loose and get fat because I already got them. Well now you got to keep them lol. Probably not physically alone but it helps

Answer 26

ChrisWaters525

Xper 5

The best thing you can do for your marriage is don't cheat.
Both partners should try not to get too fat.

pigoat

1 mo
I don't know not cheating should be a known default answer

Not to many people bring up the weight gain issues because they don't know
ChrisWaters525

1 mo
@pigoat
I just know from experience that I can love a woman even if she gains some weight, but cheating is hard to accept.
It's a marriage killer.

Answer 27

pigoat

I don't know not cheating should be a known default answer

Not to many people bring up the weight gain issues because they don't know

Answer 28

ChrisWaters525

@pigoat
I just know from experience that I can love a woman even if she gains some weight, but cheating is hard to accept.
It's a marriage killer.

Answer 29

Smoothing

Xper 6

🤣🤣🤣 Your grand ma is funny. I didn't vote because both options are true to an extent. But I am sure she wanted you to laugh at the same time.

Answer 30

DudeDiligence

Xper 7

The underlying principle is that intimacy is a very important part of a successful marriage, and maintaining sexual attraction is key to that. It was good advice for both women and men.

Answer 31

Bananaman177 | 93 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic.

Guru

You think it's silly, but look how many women manage to screw this up.

Answer 32

Jeremiah_Rhymez

Xper 2

I chose the first option. It's okay to gain and lose weight. Just don't be lazily fat or obese. Obesity is linked to higher risks of diabetes.

Answer 33

kambo_trick3y | 54 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic.

Guru

I CAN'T be the only one who read this as "Martial"

What do you think of my grandma's marital advice?

lanadelrey25

1 mo
lmao

Answer 34

lanadelrey25

lmao

Answer 35

CuriousCat123

Xper 4

I think better advice would have been, "you're gonna disagree, but everyone does."

Answer 36

SuccessfulHornDog | 197 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic.

Master

Wise women. I wonder what your grandpa would advise to his grandsons

Prettygurl12

1 mo
Unfortunately we will never know as he sadly died in 2012.
SuccessfulHornDog

1 mo
Sorry to hear that

Answer 37

Prettygurl12

Unfortunately we will never know as he sadly died in 2012.

Answer 38

SuccessfulHornDog

Sorry to hear that

Answer 39

Feelicks

Xper 5

Or actually try having and using household skills. I love my partner, but she can't cook or clean for shit.

Dinosaursandanime65

1 mo
Drink ice, skip dinner. It works felagi fighter.
Feelicks

1 mo
Don't do milk and stay in drugs.
Dinosaursandanime65

1 mo
Yeah, milkies are nice. I disagree with the drugs though, I’ve already stood my trial.
Show All Show Less
Feelicks

1 mo
Drink your school too, almost forgot.
Dinosaursandanime65

1 mo
Okay.

Answer 40

Dinosaursandanime65

Drink ice, skip dinner. It works felagi fighter.

Answer 41

Feelicks

Don't do milk and stay in drugs.

Answer 42

Dinosaursandanime65

Yeah, milkies are nice. I disagree with the drugs though, I’ve already stood my trial.

Answer 43

Feelicks

Drink your school too, almost forgot.

Answer 44

Dinosaursandanime65

Okay.

Answer 45

pigoat | 86 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic.

Guru

I would leave my wife if she got fat and unattractive

However gaining weight does not neccesarily mean getting fat

So it's a gray area grandma

Answer 46

Liam_Hayden

Guru

If like most marriages it is based upon superficial feelings rather than a genuine commitment to seek the better for the other, then listen to grandma.

Answer 47

MDollarBill

Xper 5

I think Grampa must have liked skinny women. Not all of us do.

Answer 48

Agape93 | 158 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic.

Master

Lol my mom said similar stuff

Answer 49

ChefPapiChulo

Explorer

Don’t marry a cop. Highest divorce rates out of any profession.

Answer 50

msc545 | 66 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic.

Yoda

She was right. Taking care of yourself is part of respecting your relationship and your partner.

Answer 51

Bidensucks2020

Xper 6

You get fat, sex becomes flat.

Answer 52

Dave31989

Yoda

basically. goes for both men and women

Answer 53

nobody952

Xper 4

maybe, take care of your health is better advice

pigoat

1 mo
Fat people can be healthy

Answer 54

pigoat

Fat people can be healthy

Answer 55

codyccc | 250 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic.

Guru

It couldn't hurt

Answer 56

bulletbob555

Xper 7

Stay the pretty girl the best you can

What do you think of my grandma's marital advice?

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