Why do you think arranged marriages work so well?

Question

Studies have shown, that couples in arranged marriages have an equal, or even greater level of marital satisfaction than couples who met in the traditional western dating climate.

Why do you think this is?

I personally think it might be because couples in arranged marriages focus on "good enough" rather than perfect. Focus on "get along" rather than "madly in love". And because there is a higher social pressure to not divorce, they focus heavily on working out their differences. Rather than splitting when the going gets tough.

Answer 1

jennifer_bloom | 413 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic.

Influencer

When you are empowered with the ability to choose who you marry and the person is empowered to choose you - it will often happen that one or both people will abuse their freedom of choice and abandon or exploit by tail gating or baiting their commitment or the commitment of their partner in exchange for new gifts and undeserved privileges leading to abuse in the marriage.

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Answer 2

Alyssa11

Yoda

I’ve heard about this theory of growing into love is much healthier than falling in love. People who tend to grow into loving someone have longer lasting relationships. With arranged marriages the person usually has at least most of the qualities or traits that you’re looking for. Then after commitment comes in, they tend to grow into loving each other.

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3 People

42343246743265488

1 y
That makes a lot of sense now tht i think about it actully.
Pete671

1 y
perfectly said, same as you grow into a job or career perhaps, it seems, to me as a Westerner, arranged marriages are more about finding the good traits in each other, rather than gaining an advantage over your spouse to get your own way, if both husband and wife contribute to the marriage, rather than attempt to get what they can from it, but at 57 maybe I'm cynical.
Alyssa11

1 y
It does make sense... something for me to think about too tbh
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Tstrbrainer

1 y
I find it not suitable in a conservative society where the partners don't have much say in their marriage
Alyssa11

1 y
Yes I think marriage should always require fully informed consent of two parties and they should both be able to have the mental and emotional capacity to give consent. Otherwise that’s not marriage, that’s abuse.

Answer 3

42343246743265488

That makes a lot of sense now tht i think about it actully.

Answer 4

Pete671

perfectly said, same as you grow into a job or career perhaps, it seems, to me as a Westerner, arranged marriages are more about finding the good traits in each other, rather than gaining an advantage over your spouse to get your own way, if both husband and wife contribute to the marriage, rather than attempt to get what they can from it, but at 57 maybe I'm cynical.

Answer 5

Alyssa11

It does make sense... something for me to think about too tbh

Answer 6

Tstrbrainer

I find it not suitable in a conservative society where the partners don't have much say in their marriage

Answer 7

Alyssa11

Yes I think marriage should always require fully informed consent of two parties and they should both be able to have the mental and emotional capacity to give consent. Otherwise that’s not marriage, that’s abuse.

Answer 8

ThisIsMyOpinion

Yoda

They don't. People are forced to take them to the end, doesn't mean they are happy.

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Asker

1 y
Divorce is not the only metric used to measure marital satisfaction.
ThisIsMyOpinion

1 y
I know that is why I say that while even in marriage they can be unhappy.

Answer 9

Asker

Divorce is not the only metric used to measure marital satisfaction.

Answer 10

ThisIsMyOpinion

I know that is why I say that while even in marriage they can be unhappy.

Answer 11

Iron_Man | 890 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic.

Master

I don’t think they do at all that’s for people over in India

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Answer 12

AdithyaR | 70 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic.

Yoda

I don't think they do.
You're marrying a person you don't properly and you're getting to know each other after the commitment is made, which seems counterproductive.
And the pressure from society is not a good thing. Especially here in India, couples literally tolerate stuff ranging from incompatibility to straight up abuse just cause they're pressured not to get a divorce cause apparently it's shameful.

I'd honestly never be able to work like that. I'd want to marry someone who actually loves, somebody I got to know well and then commit to cause then I know I want to be with this person. A lot of the arrnaged marriages I've seen around me seem so unfeeling and bland.

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Answer 13

JuliaStyles

Xper 7

Who says they work that well? They don't have a choice and do what they feel the are required to do by their traditions. No one said they have a happy marriage. The wife is probably lorded over and has no say in anything, including when to spread her legs. I think arranged marriages belong in the past and have no place in the present, just like slavery.

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1 Person

Aakash_Hangargi

1 y
You are right, but when there is restriction and some ground rules people tend to work as team though.

How much happy do you think are other people, keep changing partners for smallest of issues.

They loose the level of tolerance and run behind done perfect illusioned guy or girls but end up alone.

Humans are flawed as they say, you need to accept or choose which flawed human are you going to be with
JuliaStyles

1 y
@Aakash_Hangargi If they change partners for the smallest of issues at least they have that choice. You don't have a choice in arranged. That's like saying here is your porridge to eat. You cannot have any other choices.
Aakash_Hangargi

1 y
The choices, you get them during initial process, if you are abused then you do have option of divorce it's not that different from any dating thing just you don't get to have sex b4 marriage and your parents search instead of you

Answer 14

Aakash_Hangargi

You are right, but when there is restriction and some ground rules people tend to work as team though.

How much happy do you think are other people, keep changing partners for smallest of issues.

They loose the level of tolerance and run behind done perfect illusioned guy or girls but end up alone.

Humans are flawed as they say, you need to accept or choose which flawed human are you going to be with

Answer 15

JuliaStyles

@Aakash_Hangargi If they change partners for the smallest of issues at least they have that choice. You don't have a choice in arranged. That's like saying here is your porridge to eat. You cannot have any other choices.

Answer 16

Aakash_Hangargi

The choices, you get them during initial process, if you are abused then you do have option of divorce it's not that different from any dating thing just you don't get to have sex b4 marriage and your parents search instead of you

Answer 17

Alpha09

Explorer

Because your either not allowed to leave, or the society you live in discourages/shames divorce. So of course they "work" well.

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Asker

1 y
Divorce is not the only metric they use to marry marital satisfaction. Scientists are not stupid enough to not account for this possibility
Alpha09

1 y
Well obviously, but that doesn't change the fact that they still use it.

Answer 18

Asker

Divorce is not the only metric they use to marry marital satisfaction. Scientists are not stupid enough to not account for this possibility

Answer 19

Alpha09

Well obviously, but that doesn't change the fact that they still use it.

Answer 20

Twelveo1

Xper 1

Those people never experienced the life of jumping relationship to another. It is the reason. Other always want something different they can't content with one thing

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Answer 21

sheikalana | 120 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic.

Guru

Maybe because love will eventually grow and divorce is not an option for them.

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Answer 22

slatyb | 324 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic.

Master

It’s because many western couples marry too young. Not all arranged marriages are successful. In India domestic abuse is a huge problem.

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2 People

slatyb

1 y
Staying married does not mean that a marriage is happy. In highly patriarchal societies like India, it may be extremely difficult or impossible for a woman to divorce. In the US it was very difficult for a non-working woman to divorce her husband until more women started working, and all states moved to no-fault divorce.

Answer 23

slatyb

Staying married does not mean that a marriage is happy. In highly patriarchal societies like India, it may be extremely difficult or impossible for a woman to divorce. In the US it was very difficult for a non-working woman to divorce her husband until more women started working, and all states moved to no-fault divorce.

Answer 24

Anonymous

because you start staying with someone you don't know. but in dating you learn every shit about him. and that's why it doesn't work.

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Answer 25

MzAsh | 96 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic.

Guru

Ignorance is bliss. They simply don’t know any better. Boy are they missing out.

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1 Person

Answer 26

Anonymous

Do they? Or do they settle, and lie about their happiness due to their controlling cultures?

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2 People

Archerer

1 y
I can't help but feel this way too, but I can't say for sure.
Asker

1 y
Not according to researchers.

Answer 27

Archerer

I can't help but feel this way too, but I can't say for sure.

Answer 28

Asker

Not according to researchers.

Answer 29

In_Trance | 367 opinions shared on Marriage & Weddings topic.

Master

They work well because the people in them never question why

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1 Person

Answer 30

LightyGreen

Xper 2

I don't think anything works well nowadays.

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Answer 31

Anonymous

They don’t work well. They just can’t divorce

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Asker

1 y
Divorce rates are not the only aspect used to measure marital satisfaction

Answer 32

Asker

Divorce rates are not the only aspect used to measure marital satisfaction

Answer 33

ErinLockner

Xper 1

The having to search is taken care of.

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Why do you think arranged marriages work so well?

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