How to believe her, when I look at her past?

My girl friend says that she loves me and serious in relationship. I also know that she loves me and serious. But she has unstable brain. She lived with lot of men and may be told the same to them, what she says to me now... but left all of them, because she felt they all are not good. But keeps their numbers, emails and try to contact often by herself or by using her friends. I told her, all men cannot be wrong, if so I am also wrong then. She says always long-term relationship will be good, but not talk about marriage. How should I take her and understand? Do I need to consider her past behavior for guidance? I think sometimes she may be changed and sometimes, when she goes unstable, she will freak again and talks about breaks and breaks and come backs. I really cannot understand :(


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What Girls Said 1

  • You say she has an "unstable brain" but you give no clue as to what you mean by this. It sounds like you want to challenge her for something but you don't know how or if you should do it. Your question makes little sense, proabably due to your broken english.

    Does she judge you on your past? Do you allow her to know your previous girlfriends or to look at whom you have emailed. You need to stop being so insecure about yourself, you're perhaps driving her away with your paranoia. That she has lived with "alot of men" means nothing, lots of us live with others, or you're calling her morally loose - which is it?

    If you don't trust and you have let her know this, then of course she will want a break from you. Who would want to be with someone who doesn't believe them or looks for clues about the past in order to blame his current problems on them. Have you thought that maybe she will not talk about marriage because she is not interested in getting married.

    • I say unstable brain, because she always gives cross answers. Like Yes and then No. I do not want to challenge her and she also knows about my past and still now not in relation. I am not trying to judge her morally or anything. As it seems that it is become a big fashion for women or to you to say break-up,to tell that they are independen, instead of stablity, showing no signs of vlunerability and transparent.

    • Ok I hope you find the answer you're looking for, apologies but I do not understand your statement or the words you use: "seems that it is become a big fashion for women or to you to say break-up,to tell that they are independen, instead of stablity"

      I do not understand the meaning of the above quote nor what significance it has in explaining your insecurities. You should just ask her directly "do you want to be with me"? that's a simple enough question for even her unstable brain to answer.

    • No doubt that she will break-up. But I am selfish that my first love life should never breakup. I awaited for it happen till 12 years of my life (I mean after 18 to till now)... Due to lack of experience, I fall in love with this woman, from whom every time I have to hear "lets break".

What Guys Said 1

  • You are wise to realize that what she says and what she does are two separate things, you are unwise if you give your heart to her knowing this.

    • Eyes fall for beauty and heart falls for love. When brain wakes up, by that time, a big mess piled up for cleaning..