How to talk about and create boundaries in a relationship?

I'm a Christian girl who made a promise to stay pure until marriage. I started dating a guy for the first time and nothing has really happened- we've kissed once, but it wasn't anything hot and heavy. Anyway, I'm trying to figure out how to tell him about my promise. I think he basically knows since I'm wearing a purity ring, but I think it would be better if I talked it out with him. I already know what I WILL and WON'T do (ex. I will make out on a couch, but not laying down. He can touch me, but no where sexual. etc. etc.) So guys, or even girls in the same situation, how to I go about talking to him? I'm worried he's going to think that I see him as undesirable or unattractive when really, nothing could be farther from the truth! He's a Christian too, but we haven't really gotten into the whole sex-before-marriage talk so I don't know where he stands on that. Thanks for any advice! (:

Oh, and don't give me lectures or atheist arguments for wearing a purity ring. No matter what anyone says, it will not change the respect, faith, and love I have for God, so don't waste your time.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Sooner is always better to bring this up, before he gets big ideas and winds up disappointed..

    Good luck!

    • That's what I was thinking! Thanks for the great answer! (: Should I just be like, 'Hey, I wanted to talk to you about my promise to God. I'll do this, this and this, but not this, this and this. If you want or are in this relationship for anything that I'm not willing to do, we should probably break it off."? For some reason, that seems a bit harsh. Should I ask him about what HIS beliefs are?

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    • No, I admire the spirit, the discipline it takes

    • That's so sweet (: It does take a lot. I won't lie- the guy I'm dating is everything I've ever wanted. Athletic, tall and a gentleman. He has a good head on his shoulders and is finishing college in 2 years. He plays baseball and has a passion for it that makes me excited for him! But I feel that if he loves/respects me, he'll wait for me and want me to be comfortable. You're right, it'll take discipline to not give him everything, but on my wedding night, it'll all be worth it! (:

  • Stop listening to the Jonas Brothers.

    • I do not listen to the Jonas Brothers. They didn't invent the purity ring! Many Christian girls wear one and it's completely respectable. It means we care more about our faith than impressing a guy who doesn't love us enough to wait in the first place. I wasn't asking whether I should have one or not, I was asking how to go about discussing a promise I made to the Lord God, my Savior, to my romantic interest. God bless.

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