I previously believed that I did not want to get married. What are the chances he will as well?

I had finished my college degree and lived with the guy for at least a year. Now I can't imagine not having my boyfriend at my side for the rest of my life and want more than anything to bring it up with him. But he also had requirements that he set for getting married. He says date for at least 3 years living together for 2 of them. I've obviously changed my tune. But what are the chances he will as well?


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What Guys Said 2

  • Bring it up as a "potential future" thing. And tell him your way of doing it-such as without a marriage license. When you sign away with a license you also sign away lots of rights you once had in a relationship. Without one you can still change your name, share insurance etc. This method takes off many stresses that a typical marriage would incur. This is the most laid back way to do things, and if one or both of you didn't want to get married because of the "what if" factor of divorce and losing half your stuff as well as being financially dependent on one another, this would be the way to go. I do recommend living together for at least 2 years as you had stated, that way there isn't a rush and you can see how one another lives to better judge what you want. Many divorces and unhappy marriages are caused by rushing into it, and then having the feeling that being married inhibited either of you from being able to build on yourselves while you could. As long as you two love each other, living together isn't a bad idea at all, because it saves money on rent, groceries and other things, just like having any other roommate. After time passes and you decide to get married after all, I would leave the government out of your affairs, and keep it less tied down between you two, not saying that you shouldn't become unfaithful or whatnot to each other, but knowing that in the unfortunate event that anything were to go south, it wouldn't be as messy, sort of like a normal break up. I would research it and bring it up to him and he may be fond of the idea. As long as there is no rush, there shouldn't be a problem.

  • You don't need a piece of paper in order to live together for the rest of your life and a piece of paper won't insure that you are together for the rest of your life.

    The only reason these days to get married is for the health insurance, if one of you has it.

    • The way I see it the benifits are health insurance, tax benifits, it is easier to get a loan for a house, being able to be by them with medical emergencies, and having a stable envoirnment to rasie children in. And our families are traditional in the sense that marriage means growing old together. We both see it as something we want. He just sees it further in the future than I do.

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    • well, I don't want to drag this further off into a tangent, but I'm sure you're mistaken.

      Back to your original question, I like his idea of living together for 2 years before marriage and 3 years together overall. That's the new '7 year's' itch. Get over that hump and your chances go up, I'd say.

      I recommend being patient, this guy sounds like he's worth waiting for and really there is little need to get yourself all worked up or disappointed. You can plan for the future as if you were wed.

    • You are so right.

      My husband and I lived together for awhile first. Then we got married. He had never been married before, had only lived with girls. He said the paper thing as well and I believe it. Just because your married, doesn't mean they won't cheat, etc... It all is determined by, if you are committed in your heart!

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