I really like my brother's friend!

Okay, so. I am 19, my brother is 21, and his friend is 17. They don't hang out ALL THE TIME, but he spends the night occasionally and I see him sometimes on outings with my brother. Well a few weeks ago, he spent the night but my brother had to go into work so I hung out with him during the day. We joked around and found out we have a lot in common. And every time we've talked since then, I'm just more convinced that I want to be with him.

My brother and I are best friends. His opinion on my boyfriends matters a lot to me. I'm sure he'd agree that his friend and I would be good together, but I imagine he might be uncomfortable with the thought of watching us date. I understand that bad things may happen if we date and break up, but on the other hand I am fairly confident in my ability to not make things awkward.

So, what do you guys think of the situation? Best way to handle it? How might I get the ball rolling between me and this guy? Thanks!


Most Helpful Guy

  • No, it's just logical reasoning.

    Here's why.

    1) Sex is incredibly important in a relationship. In fact it's so important, that when sex doesn't work, the relationship doesn't work.The only way to know if the sex is going to work, is by having some experience. By knowing what you want, by him knowing what he wants and by working out those things together. If you wait until marriage, it's perfectly possible you two have completely different ideas of sex. What then?

    2) The way I see it, abstinence was introduced into religion to protect women. In ancient times, it was impossible for a single mother to survive without having to whore herself out or something like that. They needed a man in their lives, far more than nowadays. And that was symbolized by marriage.Nowadays, you have contraception. If that fails, you can have an abortion. If you're against abortion, there are countless of couples out there want kids and can't conceive.The entire point of abstinence has been rendered moot.


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What Guys Said 4

  • I'd start out by telling your brother about this. And telling him not to tell his friend. Things like that should come from the person themself.

    • I agree. I'm so over that middle school thing "I heard _____ likes you! do you like him/her?" ;P

  • I take it there will be nothing physical until he hits 18? In that case of no criminal liability, go for it. Ask him out alone.

    • Oh no need to worry; I'm a wait till marriage kind of person. :)

    • Show All
    • Ahahahaha thanks for the tip!

    • That's what she said (hormones)

  • Waiting until marriage is a biiig mistake.

  • It sounds like you understand the risks and that leads me to believe that this may be one of those deals that work out for the best. :D

    • I think so too! I mean I guess it makes sense... my brother and I are very similar so we probably would end up liking the same people. :) I hope it does work out!

    • I've seen when this kind of thing happens and everybody is even more happy and close

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