What can I do to get my boyfriend to understand that spending time together is important to our relationship?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a month, and we've been friends for 10 years, he just got out of a bad marriage. They are now divorced but they share a daughter. He just got out of the military and he's trying to reestablish himself as a "civilian" as he likes to call it. I care about him a great deal especially since we've been friends for such a long time. He works until 5 pm 6 days a week, his dad calls him everyday 2 spend time with him, then his cousins and mom and sisters as well, which leaves us with barely anytime together. Then when he has his daughter, that lessens his availability time even more. I have told him that we don't have to see each other everyday, but that being in a relationship is about sacrifices. I felt like we won't grow if we don't see more of each other versus texting all day.


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  • I don't know how long ago he was divorced, but the break up of his marriage might have rearranged his priorities. He's focusing on his close family.

    This is all conjecture on my part. Who knows what his reasons are? The best thing for you to do is to sit him down and explain why you're upset. Maybe you two can reach a compromise, but it may just be at this point in his life a relationship isn't what's important to him. I think if there was truly something special between the two of you, he would make time. It doesn't sound like he's making that effort.

    Though it may hurt - try to understand that after a divorce, a break up of a relationship that was supposed to last forever, this may be a way for him to cope with his loss. Not getting close to someone else now. If you two were meant to be, give him time to appreciate you. Whether you want to hang onto this is up to you - I just think he giving himself space because it may be something he really needs.

    Good luck.

    • I believe that you are right, because a couple of days after I wrote this he pretty much said the same thing and he said that he'll work harder at us spending more time with each other. Your answer was right on. THANKS