I don't want and I'm not ready for it. I'm just confuse about what to do. Can anyone help me?
Most Helpful Guy
Well, it just depends. Girls are really wrapped up in the idea that love should transcend sex and that love is an intensely deep emotional connection that only forms after two souls have truly become one...
With guys, not so much. We haven't been spoon fed fairy tales our whole lives and sex is an important part of a relationship to us. When girls refuse to have sex, it's kind of a blow to our self-esteem. Maybe you're cheating on us. How do we know this no sex before marriage isn't some excuse and you're having sex with some other guy. No matter how well we know you, how prudish you might seem, it's a subconscious part of us telling us it could be otherwise. Because how we define a lot of ourselves is how successful we are with women. A lot more so than women define themselves by men. Why do you think we go around calling each other a "player" or why every guy is jealous of the guy who gets the most action. Women don't go around calling each other "slut" as a compliment or want to be one. What's not necessarily important to you can be really important to us.
No sex before marriage is important to you, he should respect that. But try and look at it from his perspective. No matter the reason, you not having sex with him probably makes him feel inadequate, maybe even unattractive. He wants to be so much man that he seduces you into changing your mind. Maybe the marriage line is just that, a line, and you're just waiting for the right one to come along. And he thinks he's not that or he's not ready to be the right one.
All of that is wrong right? You aren't cheating on him and you really are just waiting for marriage. But that's just the way we think, we don't think the same way you do. So you need to explain to him why no sex before marriage is important. You're religious? You made a promise to a dying mother on her death bed? Maybe the marriage line really is just an excuse and you're actually just nervous. Just be honest and if he's a good guy, he'll understand and respect your decision, even if he fears worse in the back of his mind. So maybe tell him you want to, but you just can't.
Remember though, not all of us are like that. A good girl is hard to find because once a good girl goes bad, she never goes back. And there's such a pressure on them to be bad, because no one ever tells them how special they are for being good. I'm not going to tell you you're super special like I'm a kindergarden teacher, but I do have a lot of respect for your decision. Good girls are hard to find and even the best eventually go astray. And I know dealing with these situations is what can make girls eventually go bad. They get frustrated. But I hope you stay the way you are and have that resolve, regardless of whether you want to have sex one day before marriage. Good girls, they just don't exist.0