Is it uncommon now that I don't want my husband to be that "whipped"

I don't usually use the word "whipped" because I don't like it but I can't come up with another expression here.

I spend last weekend with my boyfriend and his parents and the way his mother acted towards his father was just disrespectful. It was like she sometime she completely ignored him.

Like his mom, dad and sister picked us up from the airport. During the whole car ride his mom and sis didn't stop talking. They talked about his father but never to him it was almost as if he was the chauffeur.

And she talked about how much she liked the vampire diaries and her husband did too, but later my boyfriend told me his dad hated the books and read them only to avoid a fight. If that was a one time thing it'd be OK. But I don't think it was and if he doesn't want to do something, he shouldn't.

When I talked to my brother about this he said that was how women want men to be nowadays but that's not true, right?

Maybe it's just me but girls still like strong men, right girls?

I hope my boyfriend will never be like his dad


Most Helpful Guy

  • I wouldn't be surprised if she cheats on him. That's just how girls are.

    I can't speak on whether or not girls want their guys to be like that eventually (probably not when they're young), but I do think girls (all of them) will push their boyfriends/husbands (you know, the guys that care for them) as far as they can. If he doesn't put his foot up her ass at the get go, it's only going to get worse. It's the old "give an inch, and they'll take a mile" situation. It escalates from there. I'm not talking about a situation where you compromise either. I mean, where the guy just rolls over thinking it won't happen frequently.

    I feel sorry for this guy, and I wouldn't wish that on any guy. Probably why guys die earlier. They're in a constant struggle in a relationship. This is the kind of guy that will die early, turn to drinking, or be the next Freddie Wilhite.


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What Guys Said 4

  • It's normal.

    But brace the truth - not all women want men who take charge and are always honest. Many women want a submissive men who will do what she says and will agree to everything she thinks... plenty of such women actually are unaware of it, they just say they "want a man who takes charge" but as soon as he does - there's an argument or blackmail.

    You know... actually your question is kind of meaningless. There is no way how can you change people and their temperament. You can only hope your boyfriend doesn't hold (too much) doormat genes from his father.

    • Well it was actually more a question towards girls, because my brother said that's how women want men to be and I just wanted to hear what other girls think

    • Girls don't like doormats and that's normal, but still sometimes you may bump to someone who vigorously detests "traditional gender roles" but don't take them seriously.

      Anyone who got a problem with their gender got deep issues to deal with.

  • Idk some women will mold you into some guy they want you to be and then dump you for it. Self-destructing eh?

    • But I think they've been like that for while and she didn't dump him

    • well obviously since there married haha.

  • I know what he means.

    I do this to my sisters sometimes.

    Sometimes I listen but don't say anything sometimes I go along with the topic and say a few words here and there.

    I do it to avoid the fighting and nagging

    I know that if I do something I "want" to do it'll come back to bite me in the butt.

    I don't really speak my mind because she'll either judge me or for it or tell me how I'm wrong or keep talking about something else or we'll get into an argument and argue all the time. It's annoying arguing all the time.

    I don't think its being 'whipped' more so being mature and putting your differences aside and just doing what you need to get done.

    • or we'll get into an argument and we argue all the time. It's annoying arguing all the time.*

    • well but not saying something is a bit different from reading an entrie book series of I don't know 8 books or so even though you hate it.

      And that wasn't the worst part, it was more the way she treated him. Like talking about him as if he wasn't there, never asking for his opinion on really important stuff, never said thank you or I love you ...

    • That's her problem. Seems like she feels superior to him.

      I give the husband a lot of credit for how much he puts up with. He has a lot of patience.

      And I have read things I didn't want to or things like that for girls I liked. (That obviously didn't work out)

  • Women do not want men to be pussholes, like that Vampire Diary reading wuss.

    If they find themselves with such a man, they will mistreat him and disrespect him.

    Women want men to be men. It's in our nature.

    • ya right, but why do guys feel we want our husbands or boyfriends to be like that? And from what I've seen from other peoples parents, that kind of relationship is in fact not that uncommon?

    • Blame the 80's and 90's when we got our heads filled with "new-man" crap.

What Girls Said 1

  • well some people have more traditional gender roles ideals. I dont, but if you do then I can see why youd be turned off from a situation where you perceived the guy to be "whipped."

    I honestly don't know that your boyfriend knows what he's talking about though. you honestly believe that someone is going to read an entire book series that they don't like just to avoid a fight? If he's right (which again, I doubt it) then that's a problem.

    • The book series wasn't the worst part. It was more the way she treated him. Like talking about him as if he wasn't there, never asking for his opinion on really important stuff, never said thank you or I love you ...

      That's not a very healthy, or equal for that matters, relationship in my eyes. If a man treated his wife like that everyone would be upset

    • I don't know that that's true, don't really agree, but anyway...

      why would she randomly say I love you in the middle of the car ride? lol I was under the impression that it wasn't lack of equality that you were concerned with, but because the man wasn't strong and manly? a man not being strong, and being "whipped" has nothing to do with an equal partnership. that just means he isn't fitting gender roles that you prefer.

      did you bother speaking to him directly? or did you just let the women talk?

    • well there a lot of situations during the day to say I love your or thank you.Like my parents always said stuff like "thanks for making dinner, hun" or when one of them went to bed earlier they "Goodnight, I love you"

      I did speak to him alone, but once his wife entered the conversation she was def dominating it. Now I do like a man to be strong and I think a lot of girls do. The main point here though was that I don't think she was treating him right