Always Thinking Of The Dead Girl

So, my fiance who I've been with for a year has a deceased fiance from about 5 or 6 years ago. Me and him are 20 now and I feel that I think about her way too much and have been since he told me about a year ago.

It was an arranged marriage and they met when he was about 13. They had a girl who died at 3 (ran over by a truck on her birthday) when he was about 16 and his last fiance killed herself due to the traumatic experience.

I've held some jealousy and resentment towards her when I first found out, because she had killed herself and I felt angry at her for such a selfish act that affected my boyfriend now fiance. I was also jealous because when we first met he spoke so fondly of her and once told a friend how beautiful she was.

I always felt like I couldn't compare. But now that I'm 15 wks pregnant, I want to stop thinking of her so much and now feel bad for thinking of this girl I never knew in such a bad way even if she killed herself.

I know my fiance has moved on, but now it seems as if "I" need to move on.

Just the other day I came upon a poem he made about her a few years ago. It was so beautiful and I felt his sadness. I felt jealous again then stopped myself. This girl is dead. Why do I keep thinking of her when I never even knew her. Why can't I let it go and just live my life with my fiance in peace?

Pretty soon I will bring a baby into this world. I want to stop thinking of my fiance's dead fiance.

Basically I just need advice. Help me out guys.
Thanks everyone, I finally feel better about all this. Had a few words with my fiance about it (should have before I wrote this here anyway) and your advice was so helpful. I think I will finally move on from this and accept things how they are. Once again, thank you very much. =]


Most Helpful Girl

  • Whether you want to admit it or not this girl is a huge part of your life because she was such a huge part of your fiances life. Yes you are about to bring a baby into the world. I think you should use that as your catalyst to move on. He lost a family but now he has a new one. That should be enoufh to help you move on

    • Thank you for your advice. I got the courage to talk to him about it and I think I finally feel better. Although I am little guilty at how selfish I'd been.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Going to sound like an arsehole but, what breed is that dog in your profile picture?

    • I don't think you sound like an arsehole it is a lovely dog

    • Lol don't worry about it. She's a mixed breed. Her dad was a german sheperd and her mom was half collie half blue heeler. =]

What Girls Said 1

  • wow