I've been married for just over 2 years now to a wonderful woman. Lately, I've been very worried about her cheating on me/wanting to leave me. This isn't completely unlike me, I've felt this way in the past and cannot remember how to resolve it. I know she's faithful most of the time but sometimes I can't shake the feeling that something is going on. She says she loves me, and for the most part we are happy.
It usually only happens when she goes out with her friends, or when I'm away from her for extended periods. This is starting to drive a wedge in our relationship and I have no idea how to overcome this on my own. What can I do?
Most Helpful Girl
Well, I have two question..
Have you been cheated on before?
And has she ever cheated on you?
I ask because the trust issues must come from somewhere. Either you've been burned before, or you are one very insecure man.
I don't want to discount your fears on account that you do have some things to be concerned about. I've been married for almost 10 years and from
Time to time, I do go clubbing with girlfriends, not to cheat, but to let loose, dance and get some me time. I've even spent weekends away and our relationship is rock solid. It is unrealistic to be with someone for years at a time without a break from each other.
Now, the problem would be if I constantly go out, ALL the time which seems to be the issue for you. On some level, I'm inclined to see what your issue might be. Going out on occassion is different than hanging out like a single girl. Some people are really particular about their privacy, but in the presence of constant partying, may seem funny.
I don't think trust is as much of a problem as much as there are issues when it comes to expectations and respect for each other.
If you haven't already done so, a serious heart to heart about your issues needs to be addressed. No yelling, no complaining, no accusations...just talk. You may find she has some issues of her own. She needs to understand that you are uncomfortable with the fact that she is always out which you don't mind if kept to a minimum. It sends the message that she's not happy at home and that worries you. Give her the opportunity to express her feelings and then together come up with a solution you both can both be happy with. Negotiate! It works.
The trust issues are surface problems. You need to get to the root which is a need to establish effective communication and respect for one another's wshes.