Some advice on arranged marriage?

I know it's not common for most of you but in my country it is. My husband is acutally American and that's very uncommon. I'm not quite sure why my parents thought he'd be a good match but they're not a big fan of politics here and maybe thought he would bring more western ideas of marriage and equality into the relationship.

There are things I like about him.I like the way he smiles, that gives me pet names and always compliments my cooking. He is also nice to look at.

Overall I'm rather uncomfortable though. I never really know what to say or do? He sometimes starts a conversation but we just don't have a lot to talk about.

We also didn't consume the marriage and I know we're supposed to. I don't know why we didn't? Does he not like me?

Can you make yourself love someone? How?


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What Guys Said 2

  • Arranged marriage is such a common thing in my country too. I've seen plenty of them. And many a times girls magically starts loving the guy immediately after they get betrothed, which is quite a surprise to me(Pun intended). The case with arranged marriage is, if you don't self-deceive that you immediately love the guy, which many girls in my country does, then you gotta take it real slow and see if the connection is built and a bond is developed. If you hate the total structure of it, then don't marry him.

  • Arranged marriages are not built on love. So don't worry about the fact that you don't love him and he doesn't love you.

    You're not supposed to.

    If you happen to fall in love with each other as the years go by, that's no bad thing. But it's utterly irrelevant in an arranged marriage.

    However, if you haven't consumated the marriage - if you haven't had sex yet - then there is definitely something wrong.

    • I don't know, I figured he would initiate it but he didn't. In our wedding night he just put one arm around me and fell asleep

    • Then there is something seriously wrong.

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