Difficult situation....how should I handle it?

There's no real question. I'm just getting overwhelmed, so here you go.

I have six friends who just got engaged recently. Three who have just gotten married, and one who will most likely (according to her boyfriend) be engaged within the next few months.

Two of the three who are married are expecting children. The did not get married because of the child, however. They've both been married for about a year.

Another thing, all the ones engaged and the two pregnant ones are YOUNGER than me! So is the one who will supposedly be getting engaged in the near future.

This wouldn't be such a big deal if I weren't only 19. I'm a freshman in college, and all the others, aside from one, didn't go to college. They just up and got hitched. Or engaged.

In a way, having all my friends moving to other stages in their lives makes me feel pressured to get engaged, but my boyfriend is a senior in high school and neither of us are in any way ready for that step. But I still feel pressured.

I don't know exactly what to do. I mean, all they want to talk about is "when will you get married?" or "When will Jason pop the question?"

I don't know! The poor boy is 18, for gosh sakes! So...any advice?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Wow, they are really coming at this stage of life early. So did many of my friends so I can really relate to you.

    I'm 23, and most of my friends have school aged children. I have a few friends who had kids at 18.

    Everyone goes about life at different stages, and it seems ridiculous that they are putting pressure on your to move on as well. You are in college, and good for you for doing that! Your life is certainly not stagnant, you have moved on to another stage in your life.

    People might still treat you like a child, especially some of the people getting married and having kids. I've had that happen to me. But honestly, getting married or having kids doesn't make you more mature. It's a choice. Maturity comes with time and experience. Simply getting married doesn't buy maturity. Many of these people are going to realize sooner or later that they moved too fast.

    A lot of my friends didn't get to go to bars or experience being young or going to college because they went directly from living at home to having kids and living with their bf's. So they missed out on a lot of experiences. Not saying kids aren't great, they are. but at the right time.

    Some of these people may be in the right time, and I'm sure they will be good parents. But rushing into things isn't good. It's best to wait until you feel ready. And right now is obviously not your time. Take time to enjoy being young and having choices. Go to college, continue with it and figure out what you want out of life.

    I'm feeling this pressure too, but I'm turning 24 this year :P Ideally I don't want to be married until 25, but still. People shouldn't be pressuring you.

    If they bring it up again, say that you are happy with how your life is and you want to continue with college. Say you have lots of time and don't want to rush into anything just yet.

    You might find that your current boyfriend is not the one for you. Perhaps when you find the love of your life, many of your friends will be dealing with divorce or being in unhappy marriages. Who knows.

    Your not immature or going too slow with your life. You are just having a different stage of life. Many of my friends never went to college. I'm going to have a better career and more options since I've taken the time to graduate college. I can work anywhere and I have great potential and career prospects. Many of my friends don't, but it's a choice they have made.

    It doesn't make either better or worse, it's just different. Don't let anyone make you feel bad for your choices :)

    • Try to make friends with people at college, have fun and enjoy your time (it goes by so quickly!). This is your time to have fun and enjoy being young. You can worry about getting married later!

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What Guys Said 1

  • there's nothing to handle. get real - that's my advice.

    you're 19. literally a little kid.

    you have 10 years before you should think about stuff like this. just because your friends are immaturely getting into marriages and having kids or whatnot, doesn't mean you should do it too.

    and I don't know why would you feel pressured. you have your own brain. you *know* it's insane to do stuff like this. younger than you have being pregnant. I mean, really? and you fill pressured by this insanity?

    when they bring this stuff up just stand your ground, tell them "i think it's absolutely too soon. period end of story. I don't even wanna talk about it."

    10 years, kid, 10 years. don't fall in this crap.


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