What do you think are the main reasons for so many couples splitting in their 40s?

Do you agree with my lists?


* A lack of sex

* Temptation to get sex outside marriage (due to #1 too)

* No priority in the marriage after the kids came along

* Feeling under-appreciated

* Women turning more aggressive (due to empowerment)


* 'Cheating' husbands

* No spark in sex anymore

* Lack of appreciation

* Taken for granted by husbands

* Someone more attractive who makes you feel like a 'real woman'


Most Helpful Girl

  • I actually just read about this in my Psychology class. The Divorce rate is 60% in North America. Your list is pretty accurate. Most people that are in their 20s are getting married and starting familes, but as all of these extra things (a spouse, career, children, bills, etc.) add up, the strain of life gets harder and the satisfaction is marriage depletes. Only after 24 years of marriage does the marriage continue to increase in satisfaction. Another factor in the success of a marriage are based off of their attachment factors (how their parents marriage was and how their parents treat them substantially incorporate itself into adulthood romantic relationships) and also their college education (college graduates have a higher success rate than those who do not attend college, usually because of the financial stability) Women are more likely to initiate divorce usually because of infidelity, physical/emotional abuse, and drug/alcohol abuse. Men are more likely to divorce because of feeling used/underappreciated, lack of intimacy, and lack of privacy. So you basically were on the right track, and those other factors that you listed are probably correct on some level.

    • I feel sorry for the poor kids to be honest, I mean..when they blame it on themselves, sadly in some cases, it seems to be true, due to what he said :(

    • yeah, it's sad. but sometimes there's no way around the greater issues and all they can do is talk with their children to help them understand.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 7

  • I think people get married to the wrong person and that's why. They end up settling for someone that they can love and have a family with instead of the one they should truly be with. Many people have a basic life plan laid out in their head, and have a specific time frame that they want to get married in. That's not a good idea if you ask me...

    If I get married, it's not going to be until I'm at least 30 or so. I may find my man when I'm 24, and I can live with him and all that stuff without actually being married to him. I'm going to wait until I find someone who I can fall in love with over and over again before I consider marriage.

    • This is a 'young' person's point of view. We'd like to blame it on "wrong partners". Have you ever thought how (almost) every partner is the "right partner" at the start of a relationship? And why things just go bad with time? (The exception here is when people are ultra-selfish, they sometimes can't even get a relationship started.)

      I think the problem has got to do with the changes that time brings in. Sadly, the best of relationships go sour with time. As they say, time wounds all heels.

    • Sorry to spoil the party, but if you live with someone (without getting married), there's every chance you'll dump him in 2-3 years time. Infact, more chances then if you were married, because you (and he) wouldn't have to think twice about doing so! The paper/legal document doesn't make much of a difference to relationships (or their lack of sustainability these days) it would seem.

  • I don't believe the lack of sex thing. Yeah, sex drive decreases with age but women do not stop wanting sex.

    I think that on both sides, people get bored with the same old thing. They get stuck in a rut and want to shake up their lives and they do that by cheating or leaving or cheating and then leaving. It's not right by any means but people do it.

    • "Women do not stop wanting sex"? Ask guys who are in a committed relationship...

      The fact is that women seem to tend more faster of sex with the same partner, than guys do it. If the guys start sleeping around with others, of course, there will be lots of complaints and tears...

      I think in today's world, women get bored very fast of the same partner, and take no trouble to hide/tolerate it :-)

  • ya no sex plays a role as well

    • I agree with you. More for a guy, but increasingly women are complaining too. I don't see how a couple can stay together like roommates, and pretend that sex isn't the glue that keeps them together.

      If you see a couple much into each other, 99% they're having an active sex-life and appreciate each others' needs. Sad to say, children can be rather anti-sexual, and once they come along the quality of the couple's sex life usually deteriorates.

  • mid-age crisis...or maybe they got married too young...

    • True, mid-life crisis is when it all comes to a head. But how do you explain quarter-life crises :-)

  • Well it wasn't for the lack of sex on my end his yes. There was no kids . Maybe I was getting more aggressive sexually .I was being taken for granted & he had a wandering eye he thought he found some thing better . I guess only time will tell if he was right ?

  • It's actually more common for a woman to cheat, they're just better at cheating because they're better liars.

    • I don't think this is true (even if the one-sided nature is changing). Women have to pay a higher price for a sex-gone-bad deal. Uptil contraception became easily available in the 1960s, this is why they were extremely cautious about their sexual partners. Besides, women don't seem to have that urgent need for regular-sex-as-a-physical-release (even if the media wants to make both seem equal in bed and their sexual needs... for commercial or other reasons).

  • Yes.. I also believe it's not just in thier 40's, I think it's also after long time together. (for those who have been together since high school- but not just yet 40) :)


What Guys Said 5

  • I didn't know there was a divorce spree for people in their 40s. But if they are I wouldn't agree with a lot of those things being major factors.

    If I were to guess, I'd say it's just because it's around that age group that first started taking marriage less seriously. Combine that with grown kids and maybe throw in a few of those other things, and it ends in divorce. However I think most of the things you listed are minor at best.

  • That list is quite what it is. The ones who suffer are the kids... No one siffers more. Imagine the number of messed up kids growing up in society now.

  • You pretty much summed it up.

  • I agree with your list. It seems that you have a lot of experience in those latter year relationships.

    • Been there. Done that :-)

  • For men:

    *Tired of always being wrong

    *Tired of always being criticized

    *Tired of not getting laid

    For women:

    *Found someone with more money.

    • LOL... well put. I wouldn't judge women so harshly though... For them, money is just one of the things they value, just as guys need sex regularly to avoid feeling too stressed... At the end of the day, a lot got to do with "tired of not getting laid". Your points one and 2 also stem from the third. If you have a partner who gives sufficient sex (most women do early in the relationship), then 1, 2 won't even rise.

    • Show All
    • You are not the boss of me.

    • I think women often don't understand that guys have a physical need for sex. It's almost like wanting food...