Four month in, but kind of suspecting a proposal. Crazy?

I can't get the idea out of my mind that an engagement is on the way and on my bf's mind. Is it crazy to jump to conclusions like this so soon?

The thing is I'm not even the type to be thinking or fanasizing about these things. Maybe I'm just not familar with happy/healthy relationships.

So the "signs" I'm reading into;

-he tells me I'm his ideal and 'the one' a lot

-he compliments me in white

--he suddenly cares a lot about making a good impression on my mom (dad's not in my life).

-he's developed the habit of holding my hands while out to eat

-the ring I usually wear has been missing a few weeks now

-he didn't buy an expensive record album he wanted (though I'm sure, there could be a number of reasons for this).

-sometimes he seems concerned that my feeling for him will change (though, he's not really an insecure person).

Other info

-he's been engaged before

-he already is a father

-he's turning 30 this year

-i've met his extended family

Though I can also think of many reasons why now would not be the time.

I'm not in a hurry. I just want to know if I'm crazy to be making these kind of assumptions based on this info. If other women might suspect the same thing.

For example; many people might argue that "its only been four months? Your not even out of the 'honey moon' stage yet". Again, I would disagree with points of view such as those, but would understand where they are coming from. Do I think four months is too soon to get engaged? No I don't. I would, in fact find it honoring and exciting. Quick engagements don't happen often, thus I would be shocked if it did happen. And hence why I'm weary of assuming it happening anytime soon.
I'd rather just enjoy what we have going for us right now. Yet, little things come up and I can't help but wonder. So I feel the need to remind myself; none of this really matters right now. If it happens sometime soon, great! If it take a period of years, great! I'll be happy knowing he either felt inspired, or was willing to take his time and plan things out. Both are sweet!
My motivation for posting was simply coming from the fact that I think I've been contemplating this too much. Growing suspicious...and where is all this "crazy" in my head coming from? Is it justified based on my bf's behavior? Or am I simply crazy/letting my mind get the best of me.Either way I think the best thing for me to try to let it all go for now.Anyways, I can see that you're trying to open my eyes and make sure I jump into a committement for the reasons in the right mind frame.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I wouldn't say crazy or anything like that but you do come across as an optimist and you quite clearly want the engagement. But then all of this kind of irks me, is there a problem? Why do you think that the four months matter at all? It doesn't sound like you want the engagement for the unity in the future which you could both share but rather simply because your relationship is meeting "the next level".

    Don't get me wrong here, the anticipation for a hugely valued commitment is greatly expected and understandable but the engagement shouldn't be proof of this, all your emotions should. I hope you see where I'm coming from.

    • I appreciate the response, and value any opinion. But, I actually don't see where you were drawing you conclusions from.

      Now more than ever, I actually believe that when you know you know and timing doesn't matter. I just don't know many people that would rush so fast into a legal binding committement. It doesn't boggle my mind but it does shock me. It's more like ...just because you find 'the one' doesn't mean you have to jump and confirm it (like what you said) why would he(?)

    • Show All
    • Honestly, I think you've been kind of wishy washy with your opening statements around the question you had originally asked. Looking back at it now I see it is very ambiguous.

      My current outlook of this all is as follows; you realize that your boyfriend and you are strongly intimate with one another, his actions have led you to suspect an engagement. But you wanted to know if you're being reasonable in doing so.

    • (continued)

      But in the end you've come to realize that non of that matters, you're suspicion doesn't affect your relationship and neither dose the possibility of marriage. It is great that you know where you stand on this view and I fully agree with it.

      As long as you and your boyfriend understand this concept though, then may you have a blissful and loving future. I wish you the best.

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What Guys Said 1

  • It's close. It's really close. Keep your hopes up.

    • Still a little confused. Marriage to me (in a healthy relationship) doesn't actually change anything of significance. So no I don't think it representing moving to the next level. The only thing it would change in my opinion are things such as living together at a better economic cost etc. I think too many people rush into marriage for the wrong reasons! Like trying to improve there relationship, unexpected pregnancy, trying to validate your s.o. feelings, claiming someone, because culture,

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