Who ever decided it was "the brides day"? How is it "her" day?

I was just watching Bridezillas and

those women are INSANE! But, the

whole reason they are "bridezillas", is

because they're under this illusion that

it's "there" day. So, I want to know who

decided that?

Like who decided it's the brides day?

Which is disrespectful and kinda like

a huge "Screw you, your opinion doesn't

matter" to the groom! What about him,

shouldn't he get a say in the matter?

I just never understood the whole "it's

her day" crap. It's stupid! What, is she

going to be playing Erica Durance's character

in the movie I Me Wed, where she marries herself?

If the answer is no, than it's not "her" day! It's

"their" day! Just want to be clear about that.

It's also hard for me to understand, because

I'm not like that. I want to get married someday

(I hope, but we'll see), however I've NEVER

pictured what my wedding day would be like

or how perfect it would be. Or what my dress

would look like or any of that. Because, the

only thing I care about is marrying someone

I love, that loves me back and that all the aspects

of a relationship that REALLY matter, are in

our relationship. All that other material stuff, is

just that, it's just stuff. That's how I feel.

Anyway, if someone could please help

curious girl be less perplexed, that would

be great. Thankies! : )


Most Helpful Guy

  • I agree with you but quite frankly I see this as an indication of a bigger problem. In general our society has this view that men are too cater to women, but women don't have the same expectation. If you don't cater to women, or do what they want, you are a sad excuse for a man, and a terrible BF/husband. Women are generally not held to the same standard. Society will not frown upon a woman in the same way it frowns upon men, if she chooses not to cater to any of her man's needs.

    Part of this I think stems from an early age, when we teach boys to be self sufficient. Even as babies we are more likely to pamper the girls, but make the boys just cry it off and deal with it. We raise boys to take care of their own needs but we raise women to turn to others to fulfill her needs. This is a serious problem that many psychologists are not uncovering and are studying the effects its having on men and society.

    That being said, I think weddings are one area were guys don't mind stepping aside. At the end of the day, most guys don't care what your dress looks like, what color the bride's maides dresses, or what the center piece is. I think most guys only care if there tux looks decent, there is plenty of food, and an open bar. So in a sense I think most guys are OK with allowing a wedding to mostly for the bride, simply because she cares more.

    Again, I think this generally speaks to the personalities of men and women. Most guys are easy going in life. We don't generally nit pick details and we generally don't care about things that are really important. Most guys aren't going to fight you about the color of the drapes, or which way you put the toilet paper, or what color you want to paint the babies room. This is likely a large part of the reason most girls even comment on this and likewise choose to hang out with men more than other women.

    At the end of the day, I would not be happy if my fiance acted like this and I like to think I wouldn't even be marrying a girl who would act like this. All it says to me is she is spoiled and subscribes to the assumption that because she is a girl, she is to be treated like a queen by default, without having to earn such treatment. That doesn't fly with me or more intelligent men. But I do agree that it is a little funny how a the guys opinion is basically ignored. But hey, welcome to the real world, were what men want doesn't matter, only what women feel and want matters. As a guy I guess you just get used to society not giving a f*** about you. That's just the sad truth.


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 6

  • I despise these bridezillas. Personally, I think weddings nowadays are absolutely foolish. They somehow became an excuse for the bride to pretend she's a famous celebrity diva, when the day is actually supposed to be a celebration of two people's matrimony. Ridiculous.

  • Most guys don't have much of a preference for the wedding,

    besides the food and the music.

    Usually he will let his soon-to-be wifey have fun creating a dream wedding! :-P

  • Let's face it: weddings have ALWAYS been for the woman. Most men couldn't give a damn about dressing up and spending thousands of dollars.

    You could even argue that marriage itself is for the woman, which is ironic if you consider how feminists used to call marriage a patriarchal prison.

  • Yeah I don't know why that is. I would be offended if I was getting married and she thought it was "her"day

  • Just more proof that it's a man's world.

    Oh, wait...

  • It's not that grooms don't care about the wedding...we do. It's a matter of degrees. The bride just cares about it far more. It's one of those situations where the phrase "choose your battles" applies.

    As a guy, I understand that it's her day more than mine and there are plenty of other things in a relationship where I care more than she does and I'll get my way on those. Not a big deal.


What Girls Said 6

  • The groom doesn't care. That's basically it. The bride typically cares way more about the details and the whole ordeal than the guy. I think that's where the phrase comes from.

    Not all brides are crazy like that though. There's a reason the show, "Bridezilas" doesn't have any not crazy girls.

  • Traditionally, the bride's family is financially responsible for the wedding which is why it's "her" day. Of course that tradition derives from back in the days the woman had a dowry to offer - she was "presented" to her husband on his wedding day and the more elaborate the wedding, the bigger her dowry was worth. So the groom only had to show up to claim his property.

    Nowadays, since her family is footing the bill, they have control over how the wedding is planned.

    I know some couples who pay and plan for the wedding together so its more of a collaborative mindset instead just the preference of one.

    The groom is responsible for the rehearsal wedding and dinner - that's it.

    My husband paid for my wedding and he had control over the whole thing. My dress, the bride's maid dresses, reception - everything.

    But it isn't because they don't care for input, it's because typically the groom only shows up while the bride is knee deep in preparation for a good long time.

  • I thin it's because generally, for the most part, the bride tends to be more obsessed with the fine details whereas the groom is just happy he's finally getting to spend the rest of his life with this woman. Brides tend to hardcore OBSESS over their wedding. Half the time, I think they're more interested in the idea of the wedding it's self and not the actual marriage. Kim K is the perfect example. She had a 2 million dollar beautiful wedding that was so self-absorbed but she wasn't as interested in catering to a long lasting marriage. Many women are that way. Whereas men tend to simplify the whole thing; they're just interested in getting married.

  • Because guys could generally care less and it something that many girls fantasize about since they are little girls. But those girls take it WAYYYYY Too far!

  • Because she'd shed her human form and eat everyone if they didn't cater to her all day :-P

    I don't understand it either. I guess people assume men care less, and I suppose they do... SOMEtimes. I would consider my wedding day OUR wedding day :-)

  • Because the woman generally cares more

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