Call off the wedding?

My relationship with my fiance has been ongoing for about 2 and a half years. I am going into this marriage with the biggest secret of my life...that I had a criminal conviction. For whatever reason, I simply cannot tell him. I am beginning to become insecure simply because I know that IF he knew, he wouldn't feel the same about me any more.

Only a few more months until the wedding. Comments please.

  • Tell him
    Vote A
  • Don't tell him
    Vote B
  • Tell him and YES he might leave
    Vote C
  • Tell him and there may be a chance he won't
    Vote D
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
@permanenthagzone - Thank you BTW.
I told him. It worked out OK. Thank you for all of the feedback.


Most Helpful Guy

  • You should have told him a long time ago. The problem with keeping the secret is that if he ever finds out then he'll wonder what else you aren't telling him. That goes for all secrets. What kind of marriage are you going to have if there is no trust?

    • Absolutely the best answer. You were right and deep down I knew it. Thank you.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 3

  • Tell him now, hopefully this was a long time ago. If you keep it secret, he'll never forgive you whenhe finds out, which he likely will at some point.

    But if you tell him now, he'll understand why you hesitated, and appreciate that you confessed voluntarily.

    Plus, you'll always feel guilty and ill at ease keeping this a secret, and he'll get the feeling you don't like him any more. It's better to take the chance of telling him the truth!

  • If you aren't comfortable enough to be open about your entire life, you're not ready for marriage with the guy. The person you're married to should be someone you can talk with about ANYTHING about your life and should share everything about your life with. And if they stay they're truly in love with you for you now and are going to stay too. But if you can't even trust him to stay if you told him you had a criminal conviction (Kinda curious what), than your relationship will never last.

  • what did you do?

    • It wasn't what I was what I was charged with doing. I was charged with having relations with an 18 year old. His word against mine. His word convinced the judge.

    • Show All
    • Somehow this sounds suspicious like there is more to it. If the age of consent is 18 where you live (and it's less than that in most places) I find it hard to believe that any charges would even be filed, let alone a conviction. On the eve of his 18th birthday? Either there is more to it, or someone was seriously out to get you and had some very good connections.

    • This probably clears it up some, I was in a position of authority...the institution where he was housed boys 12-19 with drug and alcohol addictions. They came to the institution to get straight. I worked there.

What Girls Said 3

  • You gotta tell him. I hate it for you, but you HAVE to. Don't do it to YOURSELF and not tell him- you wanna live with that hanging over you for the rest of your life? That he could find out at any time and what if he does?

    Hell, no- you have to rip the bandaid off and just do it...possibly while you are giving him a blowjob. It might help.

  • tell him now.. you should have said before. Your nervousness is from the guilt of knowing you are about to drop a bomb... tell him now.

    • I know I should have. I should have said something straight up front but I didn't and that was for fear of being rejected.

    • I agree, he will be angry if he finds out on his own

  • Can't give my input unless I know what you did, I base it off of how bad the situation is.

    • I explained that in the answer up above.

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