He's PERFECT...so What's MY Problem? :(

I am scared of the fact that this wonderful man (been together 2 years, both 29, no kids) and I are so close. We are friends. lovers, confidants.. we complete each others sentences.. it's like "story-book."

So what is wrong you ask?

I find myself intentionally pulling away from him and HURTING HIM for no reason! I love this man but because I am so in love with him I am SCARED because that means he could really hurt me if he did. Why am I doing this?

We don't live together and I am not ready to get married (I was married before and divorced 3 years ago, two years before I met "him").

My first marriage ended badly - he cheated on me and I left him crying in the apt we shared. It was terrible.

But that was in 2004 for chrissakes!!

Help me..I don't want to drive this man away with my weird distant and stand-offish behavior but I CANT HELP IT!


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • "My first marriage ended badly -" Something like that can take a very long time to get over, if you ever get over it at all.

    Bunny, a lot of people do what you are doing. They either don't let people get close, or they push them away, or they don't even try at all. That way, they are never in a position to get hurt. Problem is though, that being there still hurts, and it's lonely.

    I do think that you need to talk to him about how you feel. And since he seems to be so into you,. I am sure that he already suspects this and will understand. Still though, you should take steps to work on it because no matter how much he understands, pushing him away too much can do just that.

    I would also highly advise talking to a relationship counselor. I wouldn't tell your guy that he needs to come, but that you are going to work some things out, and that he is more than welcome to come as well. I really think that a professional could help you get to some issues and help you get past them so that you can more fully enjoy this new guy and this new relationship.

    Best wishes.


What Girls Said 1

  • You should tell him your insecurities. Then I would talk to someone about your issues. It can help. Its tough being in love with someone after a cheater. But, tell him so you don't lose him.