Is it necessary to live with someone before considering marriage?

I want to live with my boyfriend, but he has said that he likes his space and refuses to live with anyone unless he's married. But, somehow, he is okay with me being over all the time, leaving my stuff at his place, etc. I mean we only spend maybe 1-2 nights a week apart as it is, why not save money and commuting time and just move in together?

But nope, he's somehow strictly against it. But I really want to move in with him to see what it'd be like and decide if this is the guy I want to marry eventually. What do you guys think? Is living together necessary to determine if someone is marriage-material? Is living together a huge deal to you? Do you think it's a necessary step in a relationship?


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What Guys Said 1

  • I don't think it is. Some people might think so for the exact reason that you already stated (seeing if your relationship will work out), but I'm skeptical about that.

    The way I see it, you can't love someone while at the same time wondering if the other person will become intolerable. I think compatibility is more of a guideline than anything else. I think oftentimes, people rely too much on compatibility. I think it gives people the illusion of a perfect person when they do.

    I think people often think that because they've lived together for x-amount of time, have kids together, etc., that they're set. The danger there is that marriage becomes the "next logical step" rather than a decisive point - "I love this person. I want to spend the rest of my life with this person. This person has shortcomings, but so do I."

    This is especially bad if children are involved because they can become a battle ground.

    Marriage is about growing in love together and not about survival, compatibility, logic, etc. Marriage is a continual celebration and renewal of love.

    This might not make sense to most people, but if you ask me, there are reasons why the divorce rate is what it is.

    I'm writing a new article about this subject. Keep your eyes peeled for it :-)


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