How would you feel if your girlfriend proposed to you?

I know we are not economically ready to be engaged but I've decided I would like to be the one to propose when we do get to that point. I just think its important to put everything into consideration so I want hear some opinions, good and bad.

Some people say its a bad idea because it takes that moment away from the guy and he might get ridiculed. Would this really bother you?

My boyfriend has been in some failed engagements. Which I think makes him hesitant to ever try again. I kinda feel like proposing to him would be a way for me to display my committement and devotion to him. Generally I just think he deserves a special moment like that.

But for all I know he might see it differently. Like I'm pressuring him into making a committment his not ready for. Additionally it seems like most you guys out there just see marriage as a losing battle that would inevitably end in divorce.

So lets hear your guy's thoughts?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I think the idea sounds really nice...I'm guessing that I'd feel flattered and incredibly loved, and who wouldn't want that?

    But I'd also regret not being the one to propose. I kinda feel like that's one of my moments to shine and really be a man (that sounds silly to type, but you guys know what I mean). I think I'd really miss out on that.

    I'd venture a guess that the majority (or even vast majority) of men would feel this way.

    • I appreciate where you guys are coming from, for those of you that feel this way. And honestly that's the only reason I have some hesitency towards it. Though, like I said he has already been engaged before. Do you think you would still feel the same if it was your third time doing so?

    • I did consider that, actually. I still think I'd feel the same, and that I'd want to be the one doing the proposing. Good luck with it, and if you do decide to propose let us know. (And thanks for the B.A.!)

    • Sure thing! I gave you BA, because although you feel the way you do, it still helps to know you see it as a kind gesture :)

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What Guys Said 4

  • The important thing is you both have an idea of what you are getting into, love each other, and have a solid relationship. The case of whoever brings up the subject for working all this out seems to be nothing more than a small technicality

    I think it would be really sweet of her. Although I did the proposing (and I had a very valid set of reasons to act faster than her), I don't think it would have been a big deal if she asked me first.

    The tradition of "proposing" seems way overblown and fundamentally unnecessary. There needs to be a dialogue and details need to be worked out before a couple decides to get married. Why must there be some medieval proposal to prepend or postend such a conversation?

    • Thanks, I agree with what you had to say here! Out of curiosity, what were your reasons to act faster than her?

    • Circumstances were moving in and threatening to pull her away from me. If I didn't act I think I would of lost her. One of which was her residency in the U.S., and she has her pride and is not going to ask just to remedy THAT, since she didn't mind to actually go back either. If I was going to ask her to give up on going home, a huge sacrifice she would be making for me, then I needed to put the chips down and show her I would be worth it. That's just how I saw it.

    • (continued) by worth it, I mean willing to commit. Why give up on going home for someone who was just going to keep their options open?

  • I agree with what you said before the but. Go for it.

    • Thanks for your input?

    • You're right that his failed engagements might make him less inclined to propose to you. I'd be fine with a woman proposing to me. If you've dated for a while, then he shouldn't believe that you're pressuring him to commit. He probably expects you to bring up getting engaged (the famous, where is this going thing) because most women don't have the courage to do what you're willing to. So, instead, of having that awkward conversation, propose instead.

    • Sorry,I think I was going for an exclaimation mark but I do appreciate the thurough response :)

  • I personally would like it and since he's had a couple failed engagements I would think he would like it

    • That's what I'm thinking. He might appreciate it more coming from me, because It would be a unique experience for him. And I honestly would love to do it!

    • I think it's worth doing. I don't know why he wouldn't be appreciative about it

  • I'd feel emasculated. Men propose, women who propose are a turn-off.


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