Bf said he might have to get arranged marriage or get married soon

got back with ex but he said his parents are pressuring him to get married and also says he wants me. months ago he never mentioned marriage. don't know where this is coming from, he is nearly 40 and independent so seems strange. it is messing with my head, not sure what to do. he is from a pakistani background and so am i. why is he telling me this. why doesn't he just see me like we were before? so confused and he is not giving much detail about it


Most Helpful Guy

  • well if he has an arrangement to get married there is probably a "dowry" associated with the process that the brides family would give his family. that and tradition makes arranged marriages very difficult to break even if a person is rather indepedent or progressive from the old ways.

    I think the problem is he is battling tradition versus whatever feelings he may have for you. Understand that you are facing a bit of an uphill battle.

    on one hand he could choose you but doing so may alienate his family


    he could go with his family, get married but lose you.

    Sort of one of age old (romeo / juliet) type of issues. family and tradition vs personal feelings

    • yeah I am just a bit confused because his siblings have had love marriages and even divorced. I never thought his family has this sort of tradition

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    • well that is a little different. in the arranged marriage system the family of the bride has to pay a sometimes hefty dowry (essentially gifts of cash, property, etc) to the groom's family. perhaps his family either doesn't have the means to supply a dowry or simply do not want to... Also men will proliferate the family name so that could be an added reason they want to have him in an arranged marriage

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What Guys Said 1

  • Question for you, Is this for him making some "extra money"?

    I have a friend of mine, he is india, he got an arranged marriage about 2 years ago to this Indian girl he has never meet before. His family forced him to do it, while he already had a girlfriend here in Canada. He just did it for the money.

    Anyways, if its just for him to make money. THen don't worry. He will have to be married to her though and "claim" that he is living with her for I think 5 years, but not really living with her, for her to get her citizenship here.

    ASk him if this is the case. If it is, don't worry, he will still be coming home to you.

    • no its defo not for money. But we only just got back together and he is telling me this. not sure why he is saying this, why can't he just be simple rather than complicating it. is it a hint? to say he will leave me or? I am just confused

    • I have no idea sweety.. You will have to speak to him in regards to this.. I don't know if he will leave or stay..

What Girls Said 1

  • well I would jsut talk to him and see if we are going to work as a couple or not becuase he changed what he wanted.